A little Elevator fun [Archive] - Glock Talk

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kentley
09-06-2002, 12:58
Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut UP!"

Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When at your floor, strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

One word: Flatulence!

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, damn motion sickness!"

Give religious tracts to each passenger.

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter "Gotta go...Gotta go..." then sigh and say "Oops!"

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.

Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says "Human Head" on the side.

Stare at a passenger and announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say "Mmmm... tasty!"

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your beeper?"

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say "Ding!" at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that this is your "personal space."

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!

fastvfr
09-07-2002, 16:45
Looks like somebody likes watching Trigger Happy TV and probably some of the other Reality shows...

Suuuuuure would be difficult to talk me into watching that stuff. Picking out belly-button lint is more entertaining.

kentley
09-07-2002, 16:50
Originally posted by fastvfr
Looks like somebody likes watching Trigger Happy TV

WTF is that;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d ;d

fastvfr
09-09-2002, 12:17
That is the 'show' where everyday people, minding their own business, are harassed on film 'in the name of good fun'.

I've only seen the previews...where some yutzes put lots of padding under their clothes, so they look like Sumo wrestlers, then they wait until someone tries to walk through a narrow alleyway...then they enter going the other way, and it is apparently supposed to be funny when the innocent person is assautled/accosted and pressed against a wall of the alley.

In another segment, there are several goofs dressed up as squirrels who push a person to the ground and pretend to beat them.

The 'fun part' is apparently watching the reaction of the innocent person to this crap...They probably won't show the people like me who hand out *****whippings for them...SOOOO richly deserved that no jury would convict you!

I find this trend in 'humor' reprehensible, sophomoric, and not worth watching.

Acting like an idiot by saying Ding at each floor or yelling "BAD TOUCH" is even worse, IMHO. YMMV.

kentley
09-09-2002, 14:45
Originally posted by Gunrnr in another thread
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.