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Blitzer
03-10-2009, 06:26
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational (http://glocktalk.com/forums/%3Chttp://www.washingtonpost.com/) once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners. Read them carefully. Each is an artificial word with only one letter altered from a real word. Someare terrifically innovative:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which
lasts until you
realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people,
that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The Bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

5. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

6. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit
and the person who doesn't get it.

7. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are
running late.

8. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

9. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra
credit.)

10. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

11. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through
the day consuming only things that are good for you.

12. Glibido: All talk and no action

13. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to see m
smarter when they come at you rapidly.

14. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed
just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web

15. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that
gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out .

16. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half
a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And, the pick of the lot...


17. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an ass hole.



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pupcuss27
03-10-2009, 16:55
The Washington Post has also published the winning submissions to its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners are:

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up
onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

:rofl: