Things to Ponder [Archive] - Glock Talk


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09-13-2002, 23:14
* If you throw a cat out of the car window, does it become kitty litter?
* If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
* Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
* What do chickens think we taste like?
* What do people in China call their good plates?
* What do you call a male ladybug?
* What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
* When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
* Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
* Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
* Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
* Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
* Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
* Why are there Interstates in Hawaii?
* Why are there flotation devices in the seats of planes instead of parachutes?
* Why are cigarettes sold at gas stations where smoking is prohibited?
* Have you ever imagined a world without hypothetical situations?
* How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work?
* If the 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why does it have locks on the door?
* Why is a bra singular and panties plural?
* You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
* If a firefighter fights fire and a crime fighter fights crime, what does a freedom fighter fight?
* If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, how do they get baby oil?
* If a cow laughs, does milk come out of her nose?
* If you are driving at the speed of light, and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
* Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of a drive-up ATM?
* Why is it that when you transport something by car, it is called shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
* Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
* What would Geronimo say if he jumped out of an airplane?
* Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
* If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
* If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

09-14-2002, 05:27
* How deep would the ocean be if it didn't have all those sponges in it?
* What would a regular student desk look like if your legs bent the other way at the knee?

09-14-2002, 07:37
*Why do you park on driveways, and drive on parkways?
*Those signs that say "Keep off the grass", how'd they get there?