Deep thought [Archive] - Glock Talk

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P-Ratt
09-18-2002, 23:58
I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder. This evidently ticked the driver off enough that he hung out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 38 miles each way every day to work. That's 76 miles, 16 each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an eight lane highway, so if you just look at the seven lanes I am not in, that means I pass something like a new car every 40 feet per lane. That's seven cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to be 982 cars every mile or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 34 miles is not bumper to bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars I pass every day.

Statistically, half of these are driven by females. That's 18,000. In any given group of females, 1 in 28 are having the worst day of their period. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, is having the worst day of her period, and is armed. No matter what she does in traffic, I wouldn't DREAM of flipping her off.