Stepdaughter starting period...concerns. [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Davegrave
07-18-2009, 18:22
She is 10. Will be 11 in Dec and was blessed with an early period.

Anyway, her first time was 2 months ago (maybe 3ish). So far it is very irregular, and she actualy had 2 occurances last month, one 3 weeks after the other time.

Anyway, her natural father is FREAKING out. Instists that we take her to the dr right away and that something is horribly wrong with her. My wife and I both think that its completely normal for it to be very unpredictable at first, e.g. coming for a day or two at a time, or more or less frequently than 'normal'. No abnormal pains or other sypmtoms.

So what's the concensus of GT moms? Normal, or schedule an immediate dr visit?

Mrs. VR
07-18-2009, 18:26
In my opinion, and judging by our friends daughters, this is totally normal. Our 11 year old isn't there yet, but I'm sure it wont be long. OTOH, if the bio dad wants her to get a check up, what does it hurt?

Davegrave
07-18-2009, 18:36
I knew you'd be along before too long. :supergrin:
Wouldn't hurt exactly, but she's due for a normal checkup in a few months anyway and money is very tight for us right now to be going to extra dr visits. And, more importantly, my step daughter is very shy about a lot of things, and this is WAY up on the list (if she knew I knew...she'd just die) And me and my wife think it would bother her more going and getting checked out for "that", than it would help.
So basically why stress her out and spend money for a dr to tell us that it's normal for the first year to year and a half...just to put him at ease?

KCCAD
07-18-2009, 18:47
Base on my experience years ago with a former girlfriend and her daughter, this is perfectly normal. Do you have a female doctor she goes to? It usually helps with the shy issues.

MrsKitty
07-18-2009, 19:04
It's normal. :)

I remember going several months at a time when I got my first few periods. Then they might last 2 days and be very light.

Zonny
07-18-2009, 19:30
Perfectly normal.

Give Dad hormones :supergrin:

Mrs.Cicero
07-19-2009, 15:01
It's normal for periods to be irregular for the first several YEARS. They're irregular right after having a baby, and in the years before menopause, too. If Dad is having such a hissy, tell him he can take his daughter to the doctor and HE can foot the bill. Better yet, tell Dad to call a freaking gynecologist and ask if it's normal himself, if he doesn't believe you. People who panic over issues they could easily solve irritate the daylights out of me. What an idiot.

Mrs.C

Mrs. VR
07-19-2009, 19:48
It's normal for periods to be irregular for the first several YEARS. They're irregular right after having a baby, and in the years before menopause, too. If Dad is having such a hissy, tell him he can take his daughter to the doctor and HE can foot the bill. Better yet, tell Dad to call a freaking gynecologist and ask if it's normal himself, if he doesn't believe you. People who panic over issues they could easily solve irritate the daylights out of me. What an idiot.

Mrs.C exactly. If he is really concerned, he can call, or as Mrs C said, pay for the visit himself. I honestly, truly, don't think it's anything to worry about.

eta: our daughter is refusing to discuss it at the moment too. I don't even think its that she's embarassed, so much as she thinks if she ignores it, it won't happen. :rollingeyes:

FrogWithAGlock
07-19-2009, 21:54
As others have said, nothing to be alarmed about.

"Normal" is relative. 208 days, 35 days, whatever. bleeding for 2 days, or 8. Everyone is different.

I would just keep her regular appointment, and get "Dad" to back off. Otherwise, he's seriously going to freak her out, and she won't feel comfortable telling him things.

She needs ALL the trustworthy adults she can get. Just trust me on this one.

Dinky
07-20-2009, 17:02
From the local news station:



Teen girls developing at a younger age


Raleigh, N.C. Without a doubt, the world is moving at a faster pace today, and children are growing up quicker.

It's not just cultural influences. Doctors say young girls are reaching puberty earlier than previous generations sometimes at ages as young as 7.

"In general, the trend for the onset of puberty in girls is becoming younger," said Dr. William Lagarde, a pediatric endocrinologist at WakeMed in Raleigh.

According to scientific studies, the age of puberty in girls has fallen from 11 to 10 in the past two decades.

Some scientists theorize chemicals in household cleaners and pesticides mimic estrogen, throwing girls into early puberty. Others believe growth hormones in milk and meats are responsible.

Lagarde says he does not think scientists have enough data to show a clear link.

"People have looked at chemicals in the environment, endocrine disruptors and such, but it's not clear why it's happening," Lagarde said. "None of these chemicals have been really clearly associated with earlier onset of puberty."

While scientists are researching why, families are coping with the emotional and practical challenges associated with early development.

The development of breasts and the onset of menstruation at an early age can leave girls possibly unaware of what is happening to their bodies scared, embarrassed and confused.

"I had this one friend, and she developed faster than everyone else," said Kara Johnson, 13. "Sometimes, she felt really sad about it, and she tried to talk to me about it because she felt like people were teasing her and picking on her."

Also 13 and in eighth grade, people have mistaken Kayla Madia for a college student.

"It's very odd having people ask me if I'm in college when I'm in middle school," Kayla said. "I didn't realize I looked that old to them."

"Clothing is a huge challenge trying to find clothes that are age appropriate and that she likes," Kayla's mother, Debbie Madia, said. "Cleavage is not an option when you're 13."

In cases in which there is a danger of inadequate growth experts say that, if puberty begins too early, a girl's adult height can be stunted significantly doctors can prescribe medicine to slow or to stop early puberty.

"We do have medicine that we can give that actually suppress puberty and actually pause or turn off the pituitary gland so that puberty does not progress while you're on that particular medicine," Lagrande said.

But for the most part, doctors recommend families help their daughters learn to accept their development.

"At the same time, you don't want to put too much emphasis on it, because you don't want to shift the other way and make them feel embarrassed," Debbie Madia said. "They can't control what's happening to their bodies."

BabyTaz
07-21-2009, 00:00
It's normal. My kiddo's started about the same age and did about the same thing. We got her a calendar to track on, just so she can "see" what is going on. She hasn't tracked in awhile (that I know of) but we can "tell" when it is getting close. Can you say "Katie Kaboom"???

You might remind dad that if you start taking her to the doc for "female" things, they might want to do the full "exam" and does he really want his 10 year old going through that?

Mrs. G26Duck
07-26-2009, 18:37
Perfectly normal, give it a rest! Tell Dad if he is that worried he can take her to a doctor on his dime. BTW, she won't be happy if the gyn insists on a pelvic!

PilotKitten
07-26-2009, 18:54
Normal. Hell, I'm 27 and mine is still VERY irregular. About 46 days between cycles versus the "typical" 28 days. When I was younger, I'd be "lucky" to get a period once every 3-4 months.

pixel218
07-27-2009, 06:56
I have always been a very regular 28 days, but most of my friends weren't at that age. My mom is a nurse and she warned me that I shouldn't expect to be regular, that it was completely normal to be irregular from about 10-13ish. I wouldn't worry about it. I can't imagine any dr wanting to perform a pelvic exam on a 10 year old though, unless they are sexually active.

chris in va
07-28-2009, 18:10
I'm a guy but will add my .02.

My friend's daughter got hers at 10 IIRC. She reached the 100# mark early, and her doctor pointed it out as being one reason why.

sankni
07-31-2009, 04:52
Oh don't worry I got mine with 10 as well.
It was super early and I was very very confused.
Just take the time and explain to your daughter
everything she has to know.
Absolutely nothing is wrong with her physically but
it depends as well on your daughter. She is mentally already that far?
I wasn't I was so shy to talk even talk about it!
I thought it was disgusting.
My mum explained everything to me but it took me a while!
I remember the best thing my mum told me was: It'S a cleaning process. Every month your body releases all the stuff he doesn't need.
I liked that and then I accepted the cleaning process!

PilotKitten
07-31-2009, 06:21
Lol... I still think it's disgusting. Blech. At least I have the consolation for having them so far apart.

golls17
08-07-2009, 21:43
I am expecting my first child, a girl, in about a month. When I saw that girls are getting their period at 11, I was absolutely shocked. I know they grow up too fast, but that's just crazy!

I'm going gray already!

kwikrnu
08-07-2009, 22:01
The big problem is when young girls mature faster than their friends. They can feel isolated because their bodies have matured faster. They may identify with older girls and boys physically. When they start hanging around the older kids they get into trouble quickly because mentally they are not at the same level.

golls17
08-07-2009, 22:05
The big problem is when young girls mature faster than their friends. They can feel isolated because their bodies have matured faster. They may identify with older girls and boys physically. When they start hanging around the older kids they get into trouble quickly because mentally they are not at the same level.

:hairgettinggrayerbythesecondandstartingtofallout:

^^^Why isn't there an emoticon for that?

GirlyGlock
08-08-2009, 18:01
Sounds like you're a nice step father. I agree with waiting until her regular appointment. It may give her more time to get used to the whole process, understand what is happening and come up with a question or 2 for the MD. It helps if the doctor/PA/APRN is a women. It is a bit early for gynecologist they think like and talk to you like an adult rather than a pediatrician. Although she is growing up, she is still a little girl.

Tell her other Dad to chill.

kcb
08-08-2009, 21:50
I agree. It's normal.

Taking her to a doctor is probably premature.

It's such a personal thing for a young girl...especially when she is so young.

My girls had a wonderful and trusting relationship with our doctor at that age...but I think they would have been horrified to have to discuss such a thing at that time in their young lives.

Tell dad to not over react. It's normal!

My older sister and I were about that age. My sister even younger than that!

Relax. Bigger things are to come later!

Good luck!

:angel: