The cross-eyed bull [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Clyde in CO
12-19-2002, 17:08
Farmer Jim's bull died, so he went shopping for another one.

He got up early and began driving around following ads selling bulls. The third bull he looked at was a fine, strong animal. However as he got a closer look at it he saw the bull was severly crosseyed. The rancher selling the bull came walking up, and Jim asked him about it.

"Oh yes," said the rancher "He can't see for spit most of the time, but trust me, this is the best bull in the county. I have a way to fix his problem."

The rancher shows Farmer Jim a five foot long length of PVC pipe.

"What you do is shove this up his backside and blow real hard. Watch his eyes."

The rancher shoved the PVC up the bulls backside and blew on the end like a trumpet. Sure enough, after a moment the bull's eyes popped into place.

"There we go." said the rancher "He'll stay like that for about 15 minutes, just long enough for him to find a cow and do his business. Then the'll slip back out and he'll just go back to grazin' blind."

Farmer Jim paid cash for the bull, shook the rancher's hand, loaded the bull in his trailer and headed for home. Along the way he noticed that the bull's eyes had slipped back to crosseyed. He couldn't go home with the eyes like that, his wife was sure to see it and she would kill him for buying a crosseyed bull. He drove to within a mile from home, then pulled over and began trying to fix the bull's eyes.

He would blow as hard as he could, then run to the front of the bull and check the eyes. The rancher must have had a powerful set of lungs, because after five miunutes the eyes were still crosseyed and Farmer Jim was completely winded.

Just as he began blowing again, a fellow walked by and asked what he was doing, blowing on a tube sticking out of a bull's backside. Farmer Jim explained what the tube was for, and the man kindly offered to help. He would blow while Farmer Jim watched the eyes, ready to give him the signal to stop.

Then, to his surprise, Farmer Jim watched as the man took the tube out of the bull, turned it around and pushed it back in.

"Why in heavens did you do that?" asked Farmer Jim.

"Well you don't expect me to put my mouth where yours was, do you?"