Mafia Valentine's Day Greetings [Archive] - Glock Talk

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The Pontificator
01-01-2003, 12:20
> Subject: Mafia Valentine Greetings
>
>
> 15. My love for you...
> it came and went.
> so your feet are now
> in wet cement.
>
> 14. I'm here to fulfill
> your fondest wishes-
> Now that your husband
> sleeps with the fishes.
>
> 13. Come to me-
> It's my final offa,
> Or you'll be lying
> wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
>
> 12. I picked up this card
> from a slim selection,
> But that's all they offer
> in witness protection.
>
> 11. I've waited so long
> for you to be mine!
> Now that Sinatra's dead,
> be *my* Valentine.
>
> 10. Be my Valentine...
> or else...
>
> 9. Cinderella got her fella,
> with a slipper made of glass.
> So please be mine, Valentine,
> or I'll have to whack your a $$.
>
>
> 8. Violets are blue,
> roses are red.
> I blew up your car-
> So why ain't you dead?
>
> 7. The day we met, my little pet,
> I knew with just one look,
> You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
> So shut your mouth and cook!
>
> 6. Hey, how you doin'?
>
> 5. Youse da greatest.
> Youse da best.
> But you're untouchable
> Like Elliot Ness.
>
> 4. Lust is fleeting,
> True love lingers.
> Be mine always
> And you'll keep your fingers.
>
> 3. Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
> dis ain't really what a guy's heart
> looks like.
>
> 2. Valentine, dear,
> I'm a luck fella,
> you're even better
> than mozzarella!
>
> ...and the Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day
> Greeting...
> (to the tune of "That's Amore")
>
> 1. When a goon makes you die,
> cuz you told him goodbye
> -- that's amore!
>