They shouldn't allow people to bond out! [Archive] - Glock Talk

PDA

View Full Version : They shouldn't allow people to bond out!


GioaJack
08-24-2010, 09:03
I really don't know what I've done wrong in my life to deserve such shabby treatment and bad fortune in my twilight years... alright, my close to midnight years.

I served my country with honor, I wasn't very good at it but it was honorable non-the-less. I protected helpless citizens against crime and/or evil, risking life and limb at speeds approaching 120 mph whilst trying to get to the donut shop for the first warm delicacies of the early morn. In short, I've tried to lead a good life.

What is my reward for all this self-sacrifice? Emotional torment! After the unfortunate incident with Zombie Steve attempting to abscond with the fruits of my life's labor I managed to calm myself through the consumption of 12 year old scotch and a fine cigar. As I retired for the evening I laid my head back secure in the knowledge that the morning sun would bring a better day.

Once again my hopes for a sliver of justice have been dashed upon the rocks of despair. Arising from my nest of slumber I discovered that Zombie Stevie had not only bonded out of jail but had broken into my abode in the middle of the night and rested his weary body upon my couch. To say that I would have been more pleased to have found one of my ex-wives trying to steal my guns would be a gross understatement.

I am now faced with the ultimate dilemma. He has informed me that I have a choice, either spend the day giving him a casting lesson or he will claim illegal immigrant status and live in my home for free forever.

I wish I'd never learned how to spell GUN much less started buying them :crying: (This newb crap is way overrated.)


Jack

jmorris
08-24-2010, 09:11
you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

Uncle Don
08-24-2010, 09:19
It was my intial intent to remind you of the 8th ammendment based on your post line, but after reading your story of woe, I admit to reconsidering my position. Have you considered using coloring to turn the molten lead blue to resemble Kool-aid?

unclebob
08-24-2010, 09:32
It was my intial intent to remind you of the 8th ammendment based on your post line, but after reading your story of woe, I admit to reconsidering my position. Have you considered using coloring to turn the molten lead blue to resemble Kool-aid?

Jack likes the red Kool-Aid now.

slewfoot
08-24-2010, 10:15
you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Colorado4Wheel
08-24-2010, 10:22
Jack has snared another one in his lair. We should all pray for Steve if you believe in a God.

PCJim
08-24-2010, 10:42
Are we to infer that Jack has a thing for "Steve"s?

Colorado4Wheel
08-24-2010, 10:51
Colorado is lousy with Steves in the shooting world. Jack is having another "Steve" do some work on his Kimber. Or at least thats the story as I know it.

Hoser
08-24-2010, 16:05
Colorado is lousy with Steves in the shooting world. Jack is having another "Steve" do some work on his Kimber. Or at least thats the story as I know it.

It should be ready in a year or two. Maybe longer.

GioaJack
08-24-2010, 19:37
Please Lord, deliver me from this evil! So far Zombie Steve broke a decapping pin on a .223 case then lost a pin while opening a new pack to replace it. (At $63 a piece his bill is starting to add up.)

He cast around 6 or 7 hundred 200 grain SWC's, (didn't burn the house down) then I moved him over to the Star sizer. After I got him rolling on that I left the room to have a cigarette... returned a few minutes later to find that he had decided to 'adjust' the machine. Have no idea what he did, no loader in the history of the world would have had any idea what he did. Took the better part of an hour to straighten it out.

He finally managed to get 'em done, (after wasting a whole stick of lube) and moved him over to a LNL w/casefeeder. Spent a few minutes loading rounds and showing him how the machine worked. Asked if he understood and although his voice said yes the totally dumbfounded look on his face caused me more than a bit of concern. Unfortunately my concerns turned out to be justified.

Within ten minutes he had managed to totally destroy the primer shuttle slide, (actually snapped half of it off), bent and rendered useless the primer cam rod and kinked a shell retainer spring.

After fixing and or replacing parts I once again attempted to show him the correct operation of the press. As we speak he is in there cranking out rounds... I couldn't stand to watch.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd miss Little Stevie. :crying:


Jack

Colorado4Wheel
08-24-2010, 19:48
Please Lord, deliver me from this evil! So far Zombie Steve broke a decapping pin on a .223 case then lost a pin while opening a new pack to replace it. (At $63 a piece his bill is starting to add up.)

He cast around 6 or 7 hundred 200 grain SWC's, (didn't burn the house down) then I moved him over to the Star sizer. After I got him rolling on that I left the room to have a cigarette... returned a few minutes later to find that he had decided to 'adjust' the machine. Have no idea what he did, no loader in the history of the world would have had any idea what he did. Took the better part of an hour to straighten it out.

He finally managed to get 'em done, (after wasting a whole stick of lube) and moved him over to a LNL w/casefeeder. Spent a few minutes loading rounds and showing him how the machine worked. Asked if he understood and although his voice said yes the totally dumbfounded look on his face caused me more than a bit of concern. Unfortunately my concerns turned out to be justified.

Within ten minutes he had managed to totally destroy the primer shuttle slide, (actually snapped half of it off), bent and rendered useless the primer cam rod and kinked a shell retainer spring.

After fixing and or replacing parts I once again attempted to show him the correct operation of the press. As we speak he is in there cranking out rounds... I couldn't stand to watch.

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think I'd miss Little Stevie. :crying:


Jack

:rofl:

Did I mention I am thinking of getting a LnL and coming over to try yours out?

Little Joe
08-24-2010, 20:34
It sounds like you need a trip to Gunny's couch. Would you like a tissue..... Here this will make you feel better. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hFgiUm4lQig

PCJim
08-24-2010, 21:09
Ouch!

Zombie Steve
08-24-2010, 22:02
Me: "Jack, no wax is getting in the grooves, but just about everywhere else."
Jack: "What the f? What the f did you do?"
Me: "Nothing. Sat down and started doing what you showed me."
Jack: "Get the f out of the f'n way." (adjusts every moving part on the star sizer) 20 minutes later - "See - it f'n works!"



Jack: "I never tried these Wolf primers on my LnL, but here you go." (LnL breaks). "What the f did you f'n do?"

Me: "Nothing. Sat down and started doing what you showed me."

Jack: "It f'n worked when I was loading with those CCI primers not two days ago! F!"




:whistling::supergrin:

albyihat
08-24-2010, 22:09
i'm cooking some popcorn and getting ready to enjoy this friendly banter between a teacher and his student.

Zombie Steve
08-24-2010, 22:52
"It was just working in the Nixon administration!!!! What did you do??!?!?!?!"


:supergrin:

bush pilot
08-24-2010, 23:20
you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

$20.00? Shopping uptown?

fudd
08-25-2010, 05:59
Broke the shuttle and bent the cam rod? I trained a gorilla (or was it guerilla?) to do my loading and even he knows it isn't an operation of brute strength. What type of training are you providing for your zombie apprentice? You must remember that zombies, much like gorillas, have limited brain function and absolutely no higher brain function. Place the bullet, pull the handle smoothly, push the handle smoothly. So easy even a gorilla or guerilla can do it, *caution* zombies however seem to lack the ability to properly complete three sequential tasks.

Colorado4Wheel
08-25-2010, 07:00
He didn't break my 550 when he tried it.

unclebob
08-25-2010, 07:14
He didn't break my 550 when he tried it.

That was because he was loading on a Dillon and not an inferior LNL.:whistling::tongueout:

Zombie Steve
08-25-2010, 07:43
http://uploads.justindickinson.com/OhSnapBear.jpg

Little Joe
08-25-2010, 09:24
I jest, of course. GioaJack is as good at taking a joke as he is at telling one. :thumbsup:


LJ

jmorris
08-25-2010, 09:31
Originally Posted by jmorris
you use your tongue prettier than a twenty dollar whore.

$20.00? Shopping uptown?

It’s a quote from Taggart (Slim Pickens) from Blazing saddles (1974).

This will help put it in context, for the younger guys.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C35Zhdk2V4U

GioaJack
08-25-2010, 11:20
He didn't break my 550 when he tried it.


Apparently your tutelage was less than optimal... more along the lines of a public school education.

Shortly after arrival at my humble abode we settled down with a couple bottles of his home made beer, ( it was very good indeed) and I queried him as to his hand loading knowledge... a conscientious instructors attempt to establish a baseline of conceptual understanding and practicable application. (Look it up.)

Zombie enthusiastically related that he had spent an entire day under your supervision and that you had meticulously explained everything you knew about the subject. Settling down for what I thought would be a several hour long dissertation I was a bit dismayed when your entire course of study had been covered before I could light my first cigarette. In essence, had you trained him to enter a battle of wits he would have showed up unarmed. I felt sorry for the young rookie but was not deterred, I have faced tougher challenges in my life... I once convinced a Glock shooter that plastic is the preferred material for toys, not guns. I get letters of appreciation from him to this day.

After his several hour long foray into casting, during which time he produced copious amounts of perfectly formed 200 grain SWC's, never once complaining about the iron Lyman mould I armed him with, commenting on how enjoyable and convenient it was to cast indoors and pointing out how much more professional and efficient the RCBS Pro Melt furnace was when compared to the lowly Lee pot... he mentioned that you owned one but I didn't believe him, even you would not be duped into using a product of such obviously inferior quality. I pointed out that he must be mistaken but as usual I was compassionate and patient with my gentle rebuke.

We next moved to the Star sizer which he immediately recognized, commenting that he had seen one set up in your spartan loading room and related to me how you had convinced me to abandon the use of a Lyman sizer and step up to a Star like a real professional,

Once again I calmly corrected his misconception of the actual facts and pointed out that I had been using a Star sizer since you had been but a mere gleam in your father's eye. He thanked me profusely throughout the day for my dedication in calmly and professionally explaining each and every step in the reloading process and expressed his displeasure at your apparent habit of lacing your feeble attempts at instruction with profanities and vulgarities. As you might expect I immediately came to your defense and explained to the young scribe that it was not uncommon for those who lack a true understanding of a subject to cover up those inadequacies with false bravado. (You can always count on me to be a willing defender of your honor.)

I spent maybe 30 to 45 seconds adjusting the Star sizer to accommodate a two grease groove bullet, provided a visual and audible demonstration of the machine then left the student to his own devices. (I believe I had to take a phone call from Hillary Clinton, she wanted my advice on how to deal with that pesky Israeli, Palestine problem.)

When I returned to the room I was a bit surprised to see bullet lube dripping from the ceiling and my Star sizer completely disassembled. Young Zombie informed me that he wanted to adjust the machine in the manner you had taught him. I explained that there really was no need for the use of an acetylene torch or pipe wrench in the disassembly of a Star. He related that it was the procedure you used and I had to admit that there is often more than one way to accomplish a desired goal. two hours later we were once again up and running and he finished sizing and lubing his bullets.

Loading was our next scheduled procedure and since the unexpected delays meant the day was growing short I decided to let him load of the 55B, knowing that he already possessed intimate knowledge with the machine since you had allegedly provided extensive instruction on its use and operation. To save time I offered the use of the powder that was already in the measure and the primers that were conveniently sitting on the bench. The poor rookie sheepishly explained that it would be a financial burden on him to use my components. My raised eyebrows elicited an explanation that he assumed my price list was probably similar to yours and that since you charged him $3 for each bottle of water he drank then $5 for each bathroom trip he figured my powder and and primer prices would add to the national debt. I calmed his fears by advising him that there would be no charge for the components. He mumbled something that sounded like he wished he had brought more brass. Perhaps I'm being too hard on him.

We checked the powder throw on the 55B, told him he was ready to go and headed out of the room for a much needed cigarette. His look of abject terror caused me to hesitate and I inquired what was wrong. He explained that he had no idea how to operate the press. I was a bit baffled. He explained that when offered to demonstrate your 55B you simply loaded a single round, (refusing his request to let him actually touch the machine) then invited him upstairs to play PS3.

Recognizing the futility of the situation I decided to move directly to the LNL, that is when the already documented destruction began. I should be up and running again before the end of the year.


Jack

Colorado4Wheel
08-25-2010, 14:04
Team Blue 1
Team Red 0

Nuff said.

GioaJack
08-25-2010, 15:36
Team Blue 1
Team Red 0

Nuff said.


Obviously you spent several hours considering all relevant points of dissension and rebuttal in composing your highly technical and detailed response.

Your exhaustive effort is appreciated by the curious masses. :whistling:


Jack

Colorado4Wheel
08-25-2010, 15:45
I was exhausted after reading that other post so thats all the fight I had left in me at the time. I have rehydrated now and I'm ready to go again. I can't top this post anyway.

http://uploads.justindickinson.com/OhSnapBear.jpg