Why We Love Our Kid's #2 [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Eddie C.
01-29-2003, 14:00
Why We Love Our Kid's #2


POLICE # 1
>> >
>> > While taking a routine vandalism report at an
>> > elementary school, I was interrupted by a little
>> > girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my
>> > uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I
>> > answered and continued writing the report. "My
>> > mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
>> > police.
>> >
>> > Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her.
>> >
>> > "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot
>> > toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
>> >
>> > POLICE # 2
>> >
>> > It was the end of the day when I parked my police
>> > van in front of the station. As I gathered my
>> > equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I
>> > saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog
>> > you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I
>> > replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
>> > towards the back of the van. Finally he said,
>> > "What'd he do?"
>> >
>> > ELDERLY
>> >
>> > While working for an organization that delivers
>> > lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my
>> > four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She
>> > was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances
>> > of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
>> > wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair
>> > of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced
>> > myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she
>> > merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will
>> > never believe this!"
>> >
>> > DRESS~UP
>> >
>> > A little girl was watching her parents dress for a
>> > party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she
>> > warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit."
>> >
>> > "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always
>> > gives you a headache next morning."
>> >
>> > DEATH
>> >
>> > While walking along the sidewalk in front of his
>> > church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer
>> > that nearly made his collar wilt.
>> >
>> > Apparently, his five-year-old son and his playmates
>> > had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial
>> > should be performed, they had secured a small box
>> > and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready
>> > for the disposal of the deceased.
>> >
>> > The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate
>> > prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his
>> > version of what he thought his father always said:
>> > "Glory be unto the Faaaather. and unto the
>> > Sonnn..... and into the hole he gooooes."
>> >
>> > SCHOOL
>> >
>> > A little girl had just finished her first week of
>> > school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her
>> > mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't
>> > let me talk!"
>> >
>> > BIBLE
>> >
>> > A little boy opened the big family bible. He was
>> > fascinated as he fingered through the old pages.
>> > Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked
>> > up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an
>> > old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages.
>> > "Mama, look what I found", the boy called out.
>> >
>> > "What have you got there, dear"? With astonishment
>> > in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's
>> > Adam's underwear!"
>> >