Stimulus Check [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Mrs Glockrunner
02-28-2011, 06:21
Economic Stimulus Payment...

This is indeed a very exciting program,
and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A. It is money that the federal government will
send to taxpayers.

Q.. Where will the government get this money ?

A. From taxpayers.

Q. So the government is giving me back my
own money ?

A. Only a smidgen of it.

Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

A. The plan is for you to use the money to
purchase a high-definition TV set, thus
stimulating the economy.

Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A. Shut up.
_____________________________________________________

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help
the U.S. economy by spending your stimulus check
wisely:

* If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the
money will go to China or Sri Lanka.
* If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to
the Arabs.
* If you purchase a computer, it will go to India,
Taiwan or China.
* If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to
Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala.
* If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or
Korea.
* If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan .
* If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it
will go to management bonuses and they will
hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or

2) Going to ball games, or

3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

4) Beer or

5) Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still
operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that
you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day!

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.