A Few Zen Thoughts [Archive] - Glock Talk

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MooseJaw
02-13-2003, 18:16
..For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously
>
> Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
>
> A day without sunshine is like, night.
>
> On the other hand, you have different fingers.
>
> 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
>
> 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
>
> I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
>
> Honk if you love peace and quiet.
>
> Remember, half the people you know are below average.
>
> He who laughs last thinks slowest.
>
> Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
>
> The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the
> cheese.
>
> I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
>
> Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
>
> Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
>
> A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
>
> Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
>
> Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
>
> Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
>
> Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
>
> If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
>
> How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hand...
>
> OK, so what's the speed of dark?
>
> How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
>
> If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
> something.
>
> When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
>
> Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
>
> Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
>
> If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
>
> Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
>
> What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
>
> I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
>
> I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
>
> Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
>
> Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the
> hell happened.
>
> : )