Chuck Norris [Archive] - Glock Talk

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DepChief
07-21-2011, 10:34
When Chuck Norris does push-ups, he dosen't push himself up, he pushes the earth down.

DepChief
07-21-2011, 10:35
When Chuck Norris jumps into water he doesn't get wet, the water gets Chuck Norris.

DepChief
07-21-2011, 10:38
Chuck Norris once shot down an airplane by pointing at it with his finger and saying "bang".

DepChief
07-21-2011, 10:39
The Boogyman looks under his bed for Chuck Norris when he goes to bed.

GlockinNJ
07-21-2011, 10:59
Chuck Norris got into a staring contest with the sun ... and won.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity. Twice.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars. That's why there's no sign of life there.

There's no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures that Chuck Norris lets live.

Chuck Norris is what Willis was talking about.

Chuck Norris got bit by a zombie and the zombie turned into Chuck Norris.

There once was a street named Chuck Norris, but they had to change the name because anyone who crosses Chuck Norris dies.

gruntmedik
07-21-2011, 16:26
Chuck Norris can pop a wheelie on a unicycle.

gruntmedik
07-21-2011, 16:27
Hand Chuck Norris lemons, he gives you orange juice.

trcubed
07-21-2011, 17:20
Y'all bought the book, too, huh?

DepChief
07-21-2011, 18:57
The Great Wall of China was built to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

gruntmedik
07-21-2011, 19:43
Someone once shot Chuck Norris with a 10mm.

When Mr. Norris found out about it, he weren't happy.

HotRoderX
07-21-2011, 20:00
:rofl::rofl::rofl: I don't know why but there always funny.

AA#5
07-21-2011, 20:20
I've heard many of 'em but my favorite is still:

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands.

Now, they're just called "The Islands."

itstime
07-21-2011, 20:30
I've heard many of 'em but my favorite is still:

Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands.

Now, they're just called "The Islands."

I used this today. Too funny.

Bodyarmorguy
07-21-2011, 20:44
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

Bodyarmorguy
07-21-2011, 20:45
Chuck Norris once made love to Christie Brinkley....9 months later she gave birth to a Total Gym

Bullman
07-21-2011, 22:03
Someone once shot Chuck Norris with a 10mm.

When Mr. Norris found out about it, he weren't happy.

It was a mistake, really.........

Mrs. Tink
07-22-2011, 09:00
My favorite:

Behind Chuck Norris' beard there is no chin. There is only another fist. :supergrin:

Foxtrotx1
07-22-2011, 09:33
Chuck Norris was seen leaving Pakistan shortly after UBL's death.

bowbender7
07-28-2011, 19:31
*****

ravenkeeper98
07-28-2011, 20:18
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door

When Chuck Norris was born, he gave the doctor a round house kick.

BabyTaz
07-28-2011, 20:22
Yes, but can he fix my #&*%@ leg???:supergrin:

BMH
07-29-2011, 03:16
"ERA...Chuck Norris approved." That's what you call smart advertising.