The Mall Ninja of Yeovil... [Archive] - Glock Talk

PDA

View Full Version : The Mall Ninja of Yeovil...


SAR
08-28-2011, 00:49
Ever run across a Ninja on while on patrol? :rofl::rofl:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EpZbNAdOy7g

bubbles911
08-28-2011, 01:26
If more people would take the initiative like him, it wouldn't matter how short we are on patrol....

Sniff
08-28-2011, 03:05
What a weirdo. He probably has a Labrador that tells him to kill nurses too.

Hack
08-28-2011, 03:21
What a weirdo. He probably has a Labrador that tells him to kill nurses too.

Nah, it's a rottie. I heard him speak meself laddy.:whistling:
















And, I have a piece of the Tower of London to sell to you.:rofl:

Ajon412
08-28-2011, 04:25
I was waiting for John Cleese, Michael Palin and crew to show up...."Now for something completely different".....Gotta love the Brits...:rofl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=piWCBOsJr-w&feature=related

Gunshine
08-28-2011, 04:39
What I would like to know is while he is spending all that time on the streets. Playing ninja and striking poses like a nine year old. Who's protecting his wife and kids.

3Speedyfish3
08-28-2011, 05:29
Who's protecting his wife and kids?

A real ninja.

Napalm561
08-28-2011, 07:37
Who's protecting his wife and kids.

Wife and kids are probably safer while he's out of the house.

ancient_serpent
08-28-2011, 07:55
Good Lord, I couldn't get past the "growl". What a weirdo.

9x94
08-28-2011, 07:55
Wife and kids are probably safer while he's out of the house.

LOL, it would be tragic if someone were injured with his foam sword.

Javelin
08-28-2011, 08:04
Why the foam sword? Is that sort of like those folks here with fake Spike's cans on their firearms?

grizz
08-28-2011, 09:08
Why the foam sword? Is that sort of like those folks here with fake Spike's cans on their firearms?

The foam sword acts as a sponge and quickly pulls the blood from the bad guy, thus incapacitating said bad guy in record time.

Gunshine
08-28-2011, 09:22
Wife and kids are probably safer while he's out of the house.

I hadn't thought of that. :rofl:

SPIN2010
08-28-2011, 09:25
:therapy:

mixflip
08-28-2011, 11:49
Why does he carry a foam ninja sword? Why not at least a wooded one in case of an assault/self defense?

AlexHassin
08-28-2011, 12:00
whats whith the hand thing when he walks? is that a secret ninja thing?

RetailNinja
08-28-2011, 12:50
I'm pretty sure Ryu from Ninja Gaiden walks like that... in the NES version...

UtahIrishman
08-28-2011, 13:01
:rofl::rofl:

I need to work on my growl if I'm going to be a true ninja.

I wonder if he visits the mall on weekends?

Panzergrenadier1979
08-28-2011, 13:41
The line at 0:26 says it all:

".....by day he is a security guard".

:whistling:

COLOSHOOTR
08-28-2011, 15:30
LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :rofl:

Panzer is right "Security Guard by day," really says it all!

How could you not take him seriously though walking around like a raver kid making an imaginary ball with his hands!

Straight Pipe
08-28-2011, 17:53
What I would like to know is while he is spending all that time on the streets. Playing ninja and striking poses like a nine year old. Who's protecting his wife and kids.

You are giving him WAY too much credit.

Magicmanmb
08-28-2011, 18:01
Come visit the USA & meet Mr. Taser. & Mr. Glock if he pulled that sword foam or not.

UtahIrishman
08-28-2011, 18:13
Come visit the USA & meet Mr. Taser. & Mr. Glock if he pulled that sword foam or not.

The foam sword is for taking on Tele-Tubbies and Mr. Gumby

For more advanced creatures he relies on his growl and menacing stance.

Magicmanmb
08-28-2011, 18:20
The foam sword is for taking on Tele-Tubbies and Mr. Gumby

For more advanced creatures he relies on his growl and menacing stance.

Sad part is it appears he reproduced.

eracer
08-28-2011, 18:23
I've never advocated flash mob attacks, but....

Line Rider
08-28-2011, 18:40
Da boy ain't right...true dat'. :rofl:

lawman800
08-28-2011, 23:03
He didn't explain how he throws a "hadoken" energy ball s he walks around with his hands like that. That is a deadly technique reserved for the most advanced of dragon ball ninjas.

Mayhem like Me
08-29-2011, 04:14
whats whith the hand thing when he walks? is that a secret ninja thing?
yes so he can do that mortal combat thing and focus is chi to disable you like a blast from a phaser......

Mayhem like Me
08-29-2011, 04:16
tippy toes tip tippy toes...... For some reason that kids song runs through my head when I see him walking
around...:-O

Facejackets
08-29-2011, 06:21
Oh hell. This is why no one takes Security guards seriously. I know I sure as hell can't, and I am one. Maybe it is because I was born with common sense and know my place?


You guys should have seen the tool I saw when taking the Armed Guard test last week. You all would have laughed your assessing off. This kid was wearing his full duty belt, 8" boots, uniform pants bloused, and his radio turned on just loud enough to hear the chatter, but not what was being said. He was carrying his Ruger SR9 with one spare mag in a dual pouch, a cheap WalMart "tactical flash light" in the empty slot. He was using a plain Jane Blackhawk! Serpa, NOT one designed for duty use, with a damn "thin blue line" sticker stuck to it. Something seemed off about the radio as I know 99.9999% of all casinos out here have remote mics and don't let employees take them home. He got close enough for me to make out "467". Out here, that is traffic stop. Wtf, right? He Hebrew around and I got a glimpse of the radio...a police scanner....on his duty belt. *facepalm*

He ended up leaving. He drove a rusted old Firebird with not one, but two poorly wired in light bars on the inside.


I'm sure the guy from the video, and the took from the class are somehow related.

steveksux
08-29-2011, 06:36
He ended up leaving. He drove a rusted old Firebird with not one, but two poorly wired in light bars on the inside. Because one poorly wired light bar is none, and two is one...

Its a cop thing, you wouldn't understand... :tongueout::rofl:

FYI, I'm not a cop either, so this brings up a "What do YOU mean, YOU people" moment...

http://lobshots.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/robertdjr.jpg

Randy

TheJ
08-29-2011, 06:56
I was waiting for John Cleese, Michael Palin and crew to show up...."Now for something completely different".....Gotta love the Brits...:rofl:


This is exactly what I was thinking.
:rofl:

lawman800
08-29-2011, 08:08
:upeyes:Because one poorly wired light bar is none, and two is one...

Its a cop thing, you wouldn't understand...

Classic... That's what I keep telling my local mall ninjas!:rofl::rofl:

I think I would have just left if I had to deal with that doofus... Actually reminds me of some of the people I worked with. Yes, cops can be mall ninjas too.:crying::whistling:

Morris
08-29-2011, 08:51
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Police-alerted-to-superheroes-patrolling-Seattle-821425.php

Lives in my city, does his work in others.

The fun never ends. :)

sargespd
08-29-2011, 09:19
Why the foam sword? Is that sort of like those folks here with fake Spike's cans on their firearms?

Because in Britain, a bokken or wooden sword would be considered a deadly weapon and he would go to jail.

lawman800
08-29-2011, 09:42
http://www.seattlepi.com/local/article/Police-alerted-to-superheroes-patrolling-Seattle-821425.php

Lives in my city, does his work in others.

The fun never ends. :)

Out of a sick sense of masochism, I watched the cable documentary called, "Superheros". It covered those guys and I'm telling you, it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt....

Ajon412
08-29-2011, 12:26
This is exactly what I was thinking.
:rofl:

I was wondering when someone would pick up on the "Monty Python's Flying Circus" reference....:rofl::rofl: I do miss that show.....

Facejackets
08-29-2011, 13:14
:upeyes:

Classic... That's what I keep telling my local mall ninjas!:rofl::rofl:

I think I would have just left if I had to deal with that doofus... Actually reminds me of some of the people I worked with. Yes, cops can be mall ninjas too.:crying::whistling:

If I didn't NEED to he there to yet certified, I would have. Thankfully he left a half hour into the class. The other people people weren't any better though. We had the obligatory ex-SF guy, some guy that resembled the bastard love child of Chief Wigham (The Simpsons) and Mr. Magoo, Clint Eastwoods brother who actually showed up on range day with a large revolver, and some guy who asked what he should do for the range qual because he doesn't own a gun, but he shot one once before.


Scary, scary stuff was said in that class. My roommate and I drove to our local uniform store and tried to talk to owner into letting us rent some vests for the range day.

Morris
08-29-2011, 13:45
it's all fun and games until someone gets hurt....

Too late. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7jNx5mYawO0

lawman800
08-29-2011, 14:32
The other people people weren't any better though. We had the obligatory ex-SF guy, some guy that resembled the bastard love child of Chief Wigham (The Simpsons) and Mr. Magoo, Clint Eastwoods brother who actually showed up on range day with a large revolver, and some guy who asked what he should do for the range qual because he doesn't own a gun, but he shot one once before.

It never fails that in these circles, you always get the same characters. This also applies in the MMA world, the bouncers world, bounty hunters, mercenaries, and all other semi-shady character job pool.

1. Ex-military (gotta have one minimum, SF preferred) that still sports the buzzcut and acts like he is still in the military
2. Semi-deranged paranoid delusional guy with hazy history that needs to be committed before he hurts someone
3. Fat kid who thinks he is God's gift to ninjas but can't put on his pants without falling down
4. Nerd who thinks he is the world's foremost expert on weapons and tactics because he read Jane's Defense and plays COD
5. Wannabe who never did anything but makes up his shadowy involvement in all sorts of clandestine "ops" all over the world, nevermind he's only 23
6. The truly clueless guy who has no idea why he's there other than he needs to get a job (this can be the Mr. Magoo character)
7. The retiree (think Blue from Old School)

Facejackets
08-29-2011, 14:46
It never fails that in these circles, you always get the same characters. This also applies in the MMA world, the bouncers world, bounty hunters, mercenaries, and all other semi-shady character job pool.

1. Ex-military (gotta have one minimum, SF preferred) that still sports the buzzcut and acts like he is still in the military
2. Semi-deranged paranoid delusional guy with hazy history that needs to be committed before he hurts someone
3. Fat kid who thinks he is God's gift to ninjas but can't put on his pants without falling down
4. Nerd who thinks he is the world's foremost expert on weapons and tactics because he read Jane's Defense and plays COD
5. Wannabe who never did anything but makes up his shadowy involvement in all sorts of clandestine "ops" all over the world, nevermind he's only 23
6. The truly clueless guy who has no idea why he's there other than he needs to get a job (this can be the Mr. Magoo character)
7. The retiree (think Blue from Old School)


I wish I had something to add to this, but it seems like you nailed it. I am damn near embarrassed to work with these guys. I hate being associated with half the people I have worked with.

Luckily my first security job, I got really good training, from two guys that knew what was what. One was a Marine turned Sherrif's Deputy somewhere in CA and the other was a Scout in the Army and when he got out got hired with a local PD. H was involved in a pretty high profile OIS and ended up getting screwed over pretty bad so he quit and started working hotel security. Those guys were great, and always made sure none of us played "cop" or got to high and mighty behind the tin foil badge.

Too bad every other security job seems to be run by people like you described above. I just applied for the PA State Police but haven't heard anything back yet. I'd really like to get into a career that means something.

TexasFats
08-29-2011, 15:31
What I would like to know is while he is spending all that time on the streets. Playing ninja and striking poses like a nine year old. Who's protecting his wife and kids.

My money says that he is unmarried and lives in the basement of his parents' house.

lawman800
08-29-2011, 15:49
No... The dude is married and had kids, according to the video.

As for the cast of characters, I forgot there is always the "ex" cop who left under questionable circumstances. It could be some dude who couldn't even get hired but thinks he did, the dude who failed out in the academy, the dude who got fired on probation, or the dude who passed probation but messed up somewhere and still can't let it go.

SAR
08-29-2011, 15:52
No... The dude is married and had kids, according to the video.



His wife isn't even that bad looking...

lawman800
08-29-2011, 19:46
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating chips....

Ajon412
08-29-2011, 22:11
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating chips....

Why else would she be there?????.......:rofl::rofl: Sorry, but you walked right into that one....:whistling:

lawman800
08-29-2011, 23:33
I have some good chips, I tell ya. I buy the big 2 pound size just for occasions like that!

steveksux
08-30-2011, 19:32
I wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating chips....I didn't know you were Highway Patrol.. :whistling:

Randy

lawman800
08-30-2011, 20:28
I don't cite other cops without extenuating circumstances. That would DQ me from chp.

RogueUK
09-01-2011, 02:42
Why the foam sword? Is that sort of like those folks here with fake Spike's cans on their firearms?

Because "any article made or adapted for use to causing injury to the person, or intended by the person having it with him for such use" is considered an offensive weapon in the UK and he would be arrested.

The foam sword is still technically an offensive weapon (as it simply requires an intent, not to be effective) but I can't imagine any officer actually arresting for that.

Of course, if he joined the Specials (volunteers/reserves) then he'd be able to arrest people and carry a... small tin stick to hit people with if required. But then he wouldn't get to dress up as a ninja.

Considering he's from Somerset he should be dressed up as a pirate anyway!

Denikes
09-01-2011, 05:52
His wife isn't even that bad looking...

As someone who lived in England for two years, she's actually pretty attractive for a Brit.

razdog76
09-01-2011, 06:17
I can't help, but to wonder how much OC of a foam sword prevents?

Cochese
09-01-2011, 08:57
Brits are so weird.

No ninjas here, but plenty of assclowns who think they are parkour experts.

You find them near dumpsters with hyper extended this or that, calling for an ambulance because they jumped off the roof of the state farm agent next door and were trying to land on a dumpster.

:ninja:

lawman800
09-01-2011, 09:16
I love urban ninjas... They will usually end up on their ass in short order from their own antics.

nitesite10mm
09-01-2011, 10:50
Why does he appear to be holding on to an invisible bowling ball?

Ajon412
09-01-2011, 11:37
Why does he appear to be holding on to an invisible bowling ball?

I suspect that is where he derives his "special" ninja powers....:whistling:.. and it's only "invisible" to us......:rofl:

nitesite10mm
09-01-2011, 11:51
Well, if it was simply invisible, when he growled at the BB gun swan terrorists he could have instead bashed them in their mullet heads rather than just say "Be Off"! God, how fun would that be????

I wish I could bash some mopes in the head with an invisible bowling ball, even on camera, just cuz I wouldn't be showing off the secret magic of the ninja in the video replay, and I would look totally innocent of any excessive use of force charges.

I'd just be swinging my arms about in a flailing manner and not making contact.

Schweeeeet.

lawman800
09-01-2011, 15:28
It's a good thinghe doesn't know the judy chop because you can't go around judy chopping people that don't need a judy chop.

p.s. Youtube judy chop if you don't know that deadliest of ninja techniques....

SAR
09-01-2011, 22:15
It's a good thinghe doesn't know the judy chop because you can't go around judy chopping people that don't need a judy chop.

p.s. Youtube judy chop if you don't know that deadliest of ninja techniques....

I thought the Falcon punch was the deadliest strike?

lawman800
09-02-2011, 02:18
The falcon punch pales in comparison to the judy chop!

Bushido5150
09-02-2011, 08:10
Don't forget about the ningi chop to. Almost as powerful as the judy chop.

Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine