CCW girlfriend issue... [Archive] - Glock Talk

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GEN3
10-28-2011, 21:25
I have been carrying concealed for a little over a year now without my girlfriend knowing and today by accident she found out. We were out and she bumped into me and felt that I had my gun on me. She was like "holy ***** is that what I think it is". To say the least it was a long ride home. I have taken her to the range a couple of times and she is not totally opposed to guns, but I still feel like she is not completely sold on them which is why I have not told her that I carry. After we got home we eventually talked about it and she said that she was not totally against me carrying but she wants to know when I'm doing it. I'm fine with this until we started talking a little bit deeper about it. She then started giving me a list of places and people she doesn't want me to carry around. I'm really not to keen on having somebody tell me when I can and can't carry and I don't want to have to explain myself every time I do. I almost feel like not carrying around her at all now. Has anybody else gone through something like this?

Glockin26
10-28-2011, 21:28
I told mine that i always carry, she never had an issue with it. How long have you two been together?

GEN3
10-28-2011, 21:28
I told mine that i always carry, she never had an issue with it. How long have you two been together?

2 1/2 years

captdreifus
10-28-2011, 21:29
Nope, but tell her crime does not stop when you go to those "certain" areas or. When hanging out with "certain" people. Carry always, never tell. My philosophy. Fwiw, my girl knows that I carry 24/7 and does not mind one bit. Guess I got lucky.

Lew-G17
10-28-2011, 21:31
No, but my wife understands it is not her decision. She does not choose to carry and I honor her point of view and I expect the same from her.

You will have to make your own decision, but I do not recommend changing your habits when it comes to personal protection.

GEN3
10-28-2011, 21:31
Nope, but tell her crime does not stop when you go to those "certain" areas or. When hanging out with "certain" people. Carry always, never tell. My philosophy. Fwiw, my girl knows that I carry 24/7 and does not mind one bit. Guess I got lucky.

I agree 110% but it's hard explaining this to somebody thats not on the same page with you.

crsuribe
10-28-2011, 21:37
Dump her and get a real woman.

Mine gets annoying telling me she wants her CCW and her own pistol. I'm life fthat dude we can't afford to satisfy another shooter's needs!

eaglefrq
10-28-2011, 21:37
How serious is your relationship? I've never had this type of situation, but I've had friends deal with similar issues (not CCW related) and the majority of them either broke up or wound up on a very short leash.

You can try not carrying around her, while still getting her to warm up to the idea of you carrying. Unfortunately, I can only see three options:
1. She eventually accepts CCW and all is well
2. You give up CCW to make her happy and you become miserable
3. It doesn't work out

I've found if you start giving up your pleasures because your SO doesn't like them, eventually you start to dislike that person. I would not recommend carrying and not telling her. She will either ask and if you lie and she catches you, then her trust in you is damaged. If you say no and she wants to verify, then she's already telling you she doesn't trust you.

Warp
10-28-2011, 21:46
If you've been together over a year and haven't even let her know that you carry, well, I personally would consider the relationship a dead end and move on. That makes it all real simple.

9jeeps
10-28-2011, 21:53
It will be a matter of when she will out you at the wrong place or time. Either give up the gun or the girl.

Glockdude1
10-28-2011, 21:53
Time for a new girlfriend.

:cool:

RyanBDawg
10-28-2011, 21:54
http://troll.me/images/joseph-ducreux/disregard-females-acquire-currency.jpg

Wolf Spyder
10-28-2011, 22:00
You have a hard road ahead of you.

Relationships are built on lots of things, from friendship, sex, or even common interests... all of that aside, if you two differ on your core beliefs... that makes things really tough. Don't get me wrong, it can work, but almost never does.

If she is totally ignorant of guns or the gun culture, that means she is really close to being in the anti-gun crowd just because of all the stereo typing done in the media and propaganda in movies. Her ignorance could easily lead to a misunderstanding. I guess the worst thing could be if she is putting up with the gun thing because of her feelings for you... She might be hoping that she can change you or set up some kind of boundaries. If this is the case... your outlook is bleak. I say this because most women argue or debate from an emotional point of view and not a logical or reasoned point of view. I have found out that there is seldom any point in trying to reason with an emotional women.

You are better off finding a woman who shares your core beliefs such as politics, religion, and sex. Trying to change a woman from being an emotional, anti-gun, socialist into being a gun loving conservative is almost impossible. In the end it might be safer for you and your guns if you find another woman.

Good luck.

HKLovingIT
10-28-2011, 22:08
I hate to tell you this, but if your girlfriend knows that she can browbeat you into giving up something that you have a strong belief in, her respect for you will be on the down slope to zero. If she doesn't respect you and your beliefs you're going to have a lot more trouble with her than just this issue. If she knows she can push you around, she won't feel secure that you'll be able to stand up for her.

Women are always testing like this and even if they get miffed from time to time, 99% of women would rather be with a man that stands up for what he believes in (and doesn't cave when she gets mad) than with someone who they can push around. I don't know how many times I have heard a woman complain that her efforts to tame and civilize her man worked and now he's boring and when they first went out he was such an exciting guy.

If the thing you believe in standing up for is not okay with her, she's free to walk. Of course, if the thing she would like you to stop, is that you snort cocaine and sleep with other women, then her being upset is justified. :rofl:

Now, you must differentiate her trying to change your core beliefs (a situation that will lead to your resentment of her) from her making a reasonable request. A reasonable request is when someone in a relationship uses a reasonable tone of voice (not nagging or whining or crying) and asks for a reasonable thing. Such as, "I don't mind if you carry a gun but could you please lock it up in the car when we are at my parent's house?" Sure, no problem. That is perfectly reasonable. This would be an unreasonable request: "If I ever find out you are carrying a gun I'm cutting you off from hoo-hah for three months." Now, if she wants to know when you are carrying, it's up to you to decide if that is reasonable and doesn't violate your core beliefs or way of being. You might decide it is. Maybe a reasonable request you make of her is that she get her permit, or take a class in exchange. Better yet take a class together, it's good for your relationship whether it's pottery or shooting safety.

To the larger issue, staying with someone when you have a fundamental incompatibility in beliefs is setting you both up for misery. This information is new to her and of course you want to be reasonable and give her time to adjust, and you should be reasonable about her reasonable requests, so long as you don't feel you are violating your fundamental beliefs by accommodating her. Also bear in mind that there are a lot of people who are just generally ignorant and scared of firearms because of the general culture and the media so her reaction is not all that surprising. You have to cut her some slack initially for the cultural indoctrination. Realize also that you are asking her to change her beliefs. One of you is going to have to budge one way or the other to resolve this or just agree as a couple to drop the issue and move on.

At the end of the day, the issue isn't really so much about CCW. It's about you doing something she doesn't like and she says she wants you to stop it or she wants to limit you doing it. You don't want to stop and that's causing friction. Sometimes two people just disagree on a really big issue to the point where it's not practical or smart to keep seeing each other. Better to know now than after you have a ring and a license from the state, followed by a court date. I will throw in that research and common experience suggests that every long term couple usually has a handful of big issues that they just agree to disagree on and they get back to going about the business of being together. Which is cool, as long as it's discussed, everyone has had their say, you agree to disagree and that's the end of it, no bringing it up (whatever it is) all the time.

To some the particular issue you present is not a big deal and not worth breaking up over, or whatever. To some it is. That's up to you to decide. Only you know where you draw the line on accommodating your partner. If in doubt what to do moment to moment, always ask yourself this: "How would a guy who treats himself with a lot of self respect and who values himself, respond to this?" There's your answer on what to say or do next...

magpie maniac
10-28-2011, 22:12
The best advice that I can give you is...

...Don't take relationship advice from internet message boards. Only you know your girlfriend well enough to know whether you have a future together and how to best approach this subject with her.

TDC20
10-28-2011, 22:31
The best advice that I can give you is...

...Don't take relationship advice from internet message boards. Only you know your girlfriend well enough to know whether you have a future together and how to best approach this subject with her.

I agree with this 100%, but there have been some wise things said in this thread. Some may be worth consideration and apply to your specific situation, but you are the only one who can know that.

ironmike86
10-28-2011, 23:07
My wife didn't like me to carry. But I said I'm not breaking any laws. And as long as I follow the laws while I carry I will carry. Nobody will know you are anyways.
I will always compromise and go out of my way to please. But at the same time nobody is going to run my life.

GEN3
10-28-2011, 23:21
Thanks very much for all the advice so far. I've read through all of it and I'm thinking it over on how to approach this. As far as the protecting part I don't think thats the case here. I have a very good martial arts background and thats where we actually met. I think that maybe that it has a reverse effect if anything. I didn't ask her but she may ask herself why I would need a gun for protection in the first place? The one thing that bothered me the most is that she said she didn't want me to carry around her family. I understand that to an extent. I'd agree if she didn't want me to carry in the house or in her relatives houses but if we are out somewhere all together in public thats where I'd want to carry the most. I carry more for the protection of others in mind rather than my own. Kinda makes me feel like I'm the bad guy or that I'm not a safe person to be around because I have a gun on me which is the exact opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish.

HKLovingIT
10-28-2011, 23:38
Thanks very much for all the advice so far. I've read through all of it and I'm thinking it over on how to approach this. As far as the protecting part I don't think thats the case here. I have a very good martial arts background and thats where we actually met. I think that maybe that it has a reverse effect if anything. I didn't ask her but she may ask herself why I would need a gun for protection in the first place? The one thing that bothered me the most is that she said she didn't want me to carry around her family. I understand that to an extent. I'd agree if she didn't want me to carry in the house or in her relatives houses but if we are out somewhere all together in public thats where I'd want to carry the most. I carry more for the protection of others in mind rather than my own. Kinda makes me feel like I'm the bad guy or that I'm not a safe person to be around because I have a gun on me which is the exact opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish.

Ok, how about tomorrow, in a calm tone of voice you tell her that you've thought about what she requested and you've decided that you'll leave it locked in the car at their homes, but if you're all going out in public in general, you'll carry where legal, but you'll keep it on the down low so as not to cause a 'fuss'. Tell her you'll be counting on her to keep "our" (as in you guys as a couple) secret. :cool: Women just love secrets. They can't keep them, but they love them. Then move on to other business.

ancient_serpent
10-28-2011, 23:42
Some good advice in this thread. Figure out what you feel strongly about and make decisions from there.

zbusdriver
10-28-2011, 23:47
The best advice that I can give you is...

...Don't take relationship advice from internet message boards. Only you know your girlfriend well enough to know whether you have a future together and how to best approach this subject with her.B.S. Half of all marriages end in divorce, and all those gents also believed they had all of the answers. Asking for advice is not a sign of weakness. Some good advice so far, but this is the best:

Never negotiate with a terrorist!

It is time to walk away…:cool:

da chef
10-28-2011, 23:49
“If you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window and she doesn’t reach over and lift up that button so that you can get in: dump her. Cause that means she’s a selfish broad and all you’re seeing is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast.”

GEN3
10-29-2011, 00:02
Ok, how about tomorrow, in a calm tone of voice you tell her that you've thought about what she requested and you've decided that you'll leave it locked in the car at their homes, but if you're all going out in public in general, you'll carry where legal, but you'll keep it on the down low so as not to cause a 'fuss'. Tell her you'll be counting on her to keep "our" (as in you guys as a couple) secret. :cool: Women just love secrets. They can't keep them, but they love them. Then move on to other business.

Sounds like very sound advice to me. I'll give it a try and report back tomorrow on the out come.

Brian Lee
10-29-2011, 00:10
This is why I feel that we all should be honest about carrying guns up front, at the very beginning of a new relationship. There should be no surprises down the road, about guns or anything else.

Maine1
10-29-2011, 00:44
I was armed the day my wife and i met, and have been nearly every day. In fact, she said the momnet she was really turned on by me the first time was when i taught her to crack a bullwhip.

Having been in a relationship where i had to pretend to not have certain interests, and remembering how it effected who i became, albiet temporarily, i resolved to never compromise my beliefs in the carraige of weapons ...for anyone.
The people who mind don't matter, and the people who matter don't mind.

glockman513
10-29-2011, 01:13
Just put this sign in her parents front yard.

http://mksviews.wordpress.com/files/2009/05/stupid_neighbor.jpg

glockman513
10-29-2011, 01:19
I have been carrying concealed for a little over a year now without my girlfriend knowing and today by accident she found out?

Why did you feel that you needed to hide it from her in the first place?

ComeAndGetThem
10-29-2011, 02:38
I agree 110% but it's hard explaining this to somebody thats not on the same page with you.

I've never met anyone that was antigun with whom I didn't have other SERIOUS differences. I'd recommend you dig around a little bit and find out where she stands on some other issues that are important to you.

Vartarg
10-29-2011, 06:48
Time for a new GF!

RussP
10-29-2011, 06:50
Why did you feel that you needed to hide it from her in the first place?Good question...

You'd been together for 1 1/2 years when you made the decision to carry concealed. Did you take her shooting before or after you started carrying?

If you had told her before getting the permit, and she had told you she didn't want you to, would you have gone ahead with it?

coverdog
10-29-2011, 06:54
Kick her to the curb

kempeh
10-29-2011, 06:58
Having married a woman that didn't grow up around guns, when I decided to start carrying after 2 1/2 years of marriage, it was definitely a big shock to her. I didn't grow up with handguns, but instead on the farm with shotguns and rifles. Guns were common place to me and couldn't be any scarier to her. She didn't want me to buy the gun and definitely didn't want me to carry my gun at all. I went ahead and purchased a gun at a gun show and got my ccw license. After about a month of carrying I could tell she changed her view towards guns. Now, she feels very comforted in the fact that I carry a gun on me all the time. So, in other words, just choose what you want to do. If you want to carry 24/7, then do that. If she loves you, she'll learn to deal with it. :)

miaxapa
10-29-2011, 07:07
Time for a new gun...

PAGunner
10-29-2011, 07:10
Dump her and dump her fast! I'm curious though, how is it your relationship went this long without her knowing? When the pants come off, seems it would be a bit hard to hide...

debbert
10-29-2011, 07:13
As a lot of guys around here would do, just refuse to let her know when you're carrying because you aren't legally obligated to inform her.

dwhite53
10-29-2011, 07:17
What else have you not told her about?

Fine line between lying and not telling.

Her trust in you is really questioned now. She probably feels like a fool
for not noticing. She feels betrayed because you've been doing this for some
time and weren't up front about it.

If you can't be honest with her, about everything, you shouldn't even consider her a "girl friend".

You really need to find someone else and be up front with them from the start, about everything,
if you're in any way serious about the relationship.

All the Best,
D. White

barstoolguru
10-29-2011, 08:02
be a man and stand your ground, it's bad enough the others tell you and now her. tell her your going to do what you fells right and she needs to shut up about it to you and her friends

unit1069
10-29-2011, 08:06
It will be a matter of when she will out you at the wrong place or time.

Yeah, tell me about that!

I've told my wife several times to NEVER mention to anyone that I carry, yet just a couple of months ago she was wondering if I was packing while we were visiting with about ten casual acquaintances, so she started to lift my shirt.

I don't know if anyone noticed but I had to tell my wife in forceful terms later to NEVER do that again. Well, I'm sure that went into one ear and out the other because some wives/girlfriends choose to understand nothing about CCW, including the need to conceal the fact as well as the weapon. I do think I'm going to have to repeat myself every time we go somewhere until we reach the point that she's tired of hearing me nag her. Perhaps at that point she'll understand after more than two decades of marriage and five years of my CCW routine.

Addendum: There is some truth to what others have written about some people's erratic thinking process. When I bought my first handgun about six years ago it was in response to a neighbor's arrest for sexual assault of a minor. Our daughter was about ten years old at the time and the perp's daughter was a playmate of ours. My wife was very happy with my decision. Once he was convicted and sent away for 14 months I began to hear, "What do you need THAT for" until the occasional bump in the night sound that jolted her into another approval mode of thinking when realizing I have the handgun and flashlight on the nightstand. When the perp was released my wife was happy to have a firearm available, until he moved a thousand miles away a couple of years later.

In time, of course, the attitude returns and that's why I wrote that some people "choose" to misunderstand until you make it clear it's an extremely important issue. That's where I've got to become a nag from now on until my point is set in concrete, and perhaps I'm the one at fault for not pressing the importance until now.

dosei
10-29-2011, 08:47
Two and a half years and you have not discussed "non-negotiables"? Just over a year into the relationship you secretly go out and get your carry permit? Is the relationship based on anything other than sex? Because it looks like open and honest communication certainly isn't part of the foundation. Seems to me this event was simply the catalyst for analyzing what your relationship is...and what it isn't.

jdavionic
10-29-2011, 09:01
Not sure why someone would attempt to hide a fundamental belief like the right to bear arms. It's obviously important to you. If you get in a relationship, wouldn't make sense that you should know whether the other person has a problem with it?

For me, no problems. To give you an idea, my wife bought me a Beretta 92F as an engagement gun :supergrin: She thought it was wrong that she got a nice diamond ring and I got nothing. So she bought me a gun. Over 20 yrs of marriage now and we're still going strong.

Do yourself a favor...be honest at the start of relationship before investing time & energy. Playing games like hiding the fact that you carry for over a year is just silly. If she doesn't want you to carry, make a choice...dump her or dump the gun. On a gun forum, I'll give you one guess where the majority of the votes here would be. I'm sure if you went on some Nancy Boy "find my love" relationship, hippy liberal, tree hugging, panty wad forum...the votes would be different.

Bullwinkle J Moose
10-29-2011, 09:15
Counter with a list of your own regarding situations, places and people around which you forbid her to wear panties and feminine hygiene products. It makes as much sense as her hoplophobic demands. If she cannot be educated, dump her and find a nice girl that, in addition to sex organs, has a brain.

usmc4641
10-29-2011, 09:45
Tell her that you are willing to comply with her request of not bringing your gun around certain people. Simply and politely decline to be around those people. Explain to her that while you will respect her wishes, you cannot associate with those who may be hostile, fearful, or hateful towards something you believe deeply in.

jdavionic
10-29-2011, 09:55
Tell her that you are willing to comply with her request of not bringing your gun around certain people. Simply and politely decline to be around those people. Explain to her that while you will respect her wishes, you cannot associate with those who may be hostile, fearful, or hateful towards something you believe deeply in.

Ahh...screw the mushy crap & games. Dump the broad, buy another gun to help you get over it, and find a nice gal with a brain to replace her.

Brucev
10-29-2011, 09:59
I have been carrying concealed for a little over a year now without my girlfriend knowing and today by accident she found out. We were out and she bumped into me and felt that I had my gun on me. She was like "holy ***** is that what I think it is". To say the least it was a long ride home. I have taken her to the range a couple of times and she is not totally opposed to guns, but I still feel like she is not completely sold on them which is why I have not told her that I carry. After we got home we eventually talked about it and she said that she was not totally against me carrying but she wants to know when I'm doing it. I'm fine with this until we started talking a little bit deeper about it. She then started giving me a list of places and people she doesn't want me to carry around. I'm really not to keen on having somebody tell me when I can and can't carry and I don't want to have to explain myself every time I do. I almost feel like not carrying around her at all now. Has anybody else gone through something like this?

So... you are dating a woman for 2 1/2 years... and you hide the fact from her that you cc? And you are surprised at her reaction? Sounds like you need to practice some personal integrity. And... relationships are a two-way street. You don't get to have things all your way. It's no longer a man's world. You have to be willing to accommodate the concerns and expectations of your girl-friend. Otherwise... best you admit to her that your cc is more important to you and you all just go your separate ways.

happyguy
10-29-2011, 10:00
Quoted post deleted for rules violation
:rofl:

Edit: I apologize for the rules violation.

I have never gone through anything like the OP is describing but I am generally willing to compromise.

In this instance compromise would mean going with deep concealment around the people and places she mentioned.

If she has friends that would think she's crazy to be around you when you are armed I would respect her feelings as long as she respected mine.

Certainly the two of you can come to some sort of accommodation. If not, maybe you aren't meant for each other.

She's probably wondering right now what other secrets you've kept from her.

Regards,
Happyguy :)

michael e
10-29-2011, 10:04
Mine knows I carry, we took the CHL class together but she don't carry. She makes a comment now and then when I am trying to figure out what gun to carry when I have to actually dress up, I have told her several times the guns are going to be here after her as they where here first. If it's a problem leave me.

A6Gator
10-29-2011, 10:33
So, I'm guessing we never got to the point about telling her what you want HER to do if the SHTF...:supergrin:

Manolito1
10-29-2011, 10:52
I am married for 39 years and we both carry every legal place and often end up both facing the door. The only person we allow to know we carry is the two of us. When our son was young wife would ask do you have your dog and I would reply yes. The son didn't understand because we left the dog at the house.
I can not imagine going a year and a half and not dicussing what each of you would do in a serious confrontation. If that works for you continue in the relationship it would not work for us. Communication is necessary for our relationship to work.
I will add relationships must be different today because after one wrestling match in the car at the drivein would have let both of us know we carried a gun.
Respectfully,
Bill

SCmasterblaster
10-29-2011, 10:56
MY VT ladyfriend knows that I CCW my G17 24/7. No big deal at all. She works as a mail carrier, and she has had to OC an attacking dog once. I would have shot the Pit bull.

Unistat
10-29-2011, 11:12
All I can say is that, for me, firearms and self-defense are part of my lifestyle. I would not want to be with someone who could not share my lifestyle.

Your mileage may vary, of course.

These threads make me so glad my wife is enthusiastic about carrying. She's downright blood-thirsty at times. Being a social-worker has only made her more wary of the evil men do.

cfec2008
10-29-2011, 11:20
Dump her and get a real woman.

Mine gets annoying telling me she wants her CCW and her own pistol. I'm life fthat dude we can't afford to satisfy another shooter's needs!


Theres no way I would have a woman like that. Tell her to jump off a cliff, and find a new one.

racer88
10-29-2011, 11:28
Man tough crowd..... I can and will carry if I want she would just like to know about it from here on out. .

"OK, Honey... If I've got pants on, I'm carrying. Now you know."

RWBlue
10-29-2011, 11:31
It isn't about being able to carry or not. It is about being told what you can and can not do. If you are not equals now, then you will never be equals.

Please post a photo of girlfriend in biki. If she is really hot, I might put up with more crap, but this means that the relation ship will never move beyond what it is now.

Master_Blaster1911
10-29-2011, 11:47
Relationships are about mutual values and compromise on those which aren't mutual.

Warp
10-29-2011, 12:37
Just put this sign in her parents front yard.

http://mksviews.wordpress.com/files/2009/05/stupid_neighbor.jpg

The sentiment is funny and all, but it is pretty silly to claim that the sign is claiming to be respectful.

GEN3
10-29-2011, 13:08
We had a good talk about it today and we are now both on the same page about everything. Her only request is that she wants to know when I'm carrying to and lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house. I told her I'd be fine with that but I'm going to carry in public wherever I lawfully can and she was fine with that so we will see what happens. Thanks to everybody for all your help.

BailRecoveryAgent
10-29-2011, 13:13
If you have to sneak around to carry a gun around a woman after being with her for a couple years, you have bigger problems with that relationship, you just don't know it yet.



Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine

RussP
10-29-2011, 13:17
We had a good talk about it today and we are now both on the same page about everything. Her only request is that she wants to know when I'm carrying to and lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house. I told her I'd be fine with that but I'm going to carry in public wherever I lawfully can and she was fine with that so we will see what happens. Thanks to everybody for all your help."Her house?" Who's at her house?

Civilian sheep Dog
10-29-2011, 13:30
A few girls I've dated, it kinda bothered them but they got use to it. It makes no sense to compromise when it comes to this, Because there's no "safe areas" outside the home. So your gonna have to explain to her or educate her on why you carry and that it's not because your paranoid but prepared. for some couples its a deal breaker for others it's not a big deal.

cloudbuster
10-29-2011, 15:04
Girlfriend sounds like a lemon. I wouldn't bother with the fluff & buff, I'd look for a new model.

redbaron007
10-29-2011, 15:07
My wife has an issue with firearms in general. She came from a house were guns were bad. When I was able to carry, she didn't like it...scared of guns. She didn't want me to carry when we were out together.

After a long conversation, she still doesn't care for firearms; but has began to be accustom to me carrying. Still a tender situation; but getting better.


:wavey:

red

Walkertl
10-29-2011, 15:17
lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house.

Out of curiosity, what was her rational for this request?


Walker

txgunguy
10-29-2011, 15:21
My wife doesn't like to be around guns. When we first starting dating, she asked why I had it, etc, etc. she didn't like it at all. I told her I had been doing it long before I met her and it wasn't changing. She eventually accepted it and quit asking when I had it.

She still refuses to go shoot with me but bought me nite sites this year for my birthday. I couldn't believe it.

SCmasterblaster
10-29-2011, 15:32
Well, let us try to stand in the girlfriend's shoes for a moment. If she has the typical exposure to firearms (TV and the mass media) she will think that the presence of a gun means a mortal danger to all concerned. The safety record of the American policemen alone is not a good example of gun safety. A gun carrier may as well be carrying a hand grenade. It would take a LONG TIME for the American public to be properly educated about firearms in order to lessen the occurrence of near panic in the presence of firearms.

racer88
10-29-2011, 16:07
We had a good talk about it today and we are now both on the same page about everything. Her only request is that she wants to know when I'm carrying to and lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house. I told her I'd be fine with that but I'm going to carry in public wherever I lawfully can and she was fine with that so we will see what happens. Thanks to everybody for all your help.

She doesn't trust you in her own house while carrying??? What will happen when you share a home? Trouble ahead.

HKLovingIT
10-29-2011, 16:08
We had a good talk about it today and we are now both on the same page about everything. Her only request is that she wants to know when I'm carrying to and lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house. I told her I'd be fine with that but I'm going to carry in public wherever I lawfully can and she was fine with that so we will see what happens. Thanks to everybody for all your help.


Sounds like everything worked out okay for both of you.

http://www.youtube.com/user/TheArmedCitizen

McJohnny
10-29-2011, 16:13
It's up to you to carry when and where you choose, ie, it's none of the GF's business. IMNSHO, of course. We carry for a reason, and the opinion of others should not factor in to our decision.

mad.gunsmith
10-29-2011, 16:14
We had a good talk about it today and we are now both on the same page about everything. Her only request is that she wants to know when I'm carrying to and lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house. I told her I'd be fine with that but I'm going to carry in public wherever I lawfully can and she was fine with that so we will see what happens. Thanks to everybody for all your help.

The next step is you donít go to her family member's house and she only comes over to your house problem solve

My wife for 21 years now was indifferent to guns
i got one 10 years ago she look at it like a dead rat say ok that was that.

Now after a few guns later she carries her own Ruger LCP or LC9

I wish you good luck

Rob1109
10-29-2011, 16:16
i have been carrying concealed for a little over a year now without my girlfriend knowing and today by accident she found out. We were out and she bumped into me and felt that i had my gun on me. She was like "holy ***** is that what i think it is". To say the least it was a long ride home. I have taken her to the range a couple of times and she is not totally opposed to guns, but i still feel like she is not completely sold on them which is why i have not told her that i carry. After we got home we eventually talked about it and she said that she was not totally against me carrying but she wants to know when i'm doing it. I'm fine with this until we started talking a little bit deeper about it. She then started giving me a list of places and people she doesn't want me to carry around. I'm really not to keen on having somebody tell me when i can and can't carry and i don't want to have to explain myself every time i do. I almost feel like not carrying around her at all now. Has anybody else gone through something like this?


dump the broad!!!!!!

Hef
10-29-2011, 16:17
I have been carrying concealed for a little over a year now without my girlfriend knowing and today by accident she found out. We were out and she bumped into me and felt that I had my gun on me. She was like "holy ***** is that what I think it is". To say the least it was a long ride home. I have taken her to the range a couple of times and she is not totally opposed to guns, but I still feel like she is not completely sold on them which is why I have not told her that I carry. After we got home we eventually talked about it and she said that she was not totally against me carrying but she wants to know when I'm doing it. I'm fine with this until we started talking a little bit deeper about it. She then started giving me a list of places and people she doesn't want me to carry around. I'm really not to keen on having somebody tell me when I can and can't carry and I don't want to have to explain myself every time I do. I almost feel like not carrying around her at all now. Has anybody else gone through something like this?


Here is what I see as your choices:

1) Concede to her demands and set a bad precedent.

2) Tell her you're not going to concede to her demands, then she if she sticks around.

3) Dump her.

If it were me - and at one point, it was - I would try #2 first, then go to #3 if necessary. Avoid #1 at all costs.

Truckee
10-29-2011, 16:19
I have a gf who knows that I carry for work, and off. Yet, and for some reason, she had snide remarks a few times. She is not anti-gun but, did not seem to grasp "why" I felt the need to carry to the grocery for example.

The first two times, I tried to explain my position. The third time she piped up, I said, "look, this is how it is and the next time you feel the need to mention it, choose the door instead."

I hated being a jerk. However, there's not been another word spoken about it.

SCmasterblaster
10-29-2011, 16:30
My GF acts as if she never wants to see my G17. She looked at my Otapin though. I showed it to her because I am in the beginnings of starting to sell it.

FM12
10-29-2011, 16:34
My wife and daughters expect me to man up and provide protection for the whole family, up to and including being armed . I rarely dissapoint them. I carry so they dont have to.

LongGoneDays
10-29-2011, 18:47
She's been with you for 2 and a 1/2 years and thinks it is ok to tell you when/where you can carry? That is your fault.

Scorch the Earth, find another female.

longrange24
10-29-2011, 19:02
This guy is right. Can't agree more.You have a hard road ahead of you.

Relationships are built on lots of things, from friendship, sex, or even common interests... all of that aside, if you two differ on your core beliefs... that makes things really tough. Don't get me wrong, it can work, but almost never does.

If she is totally ignorant of guns or the gun culture, that means she is really close to being in the anti-gun crowd just because of all the stereo typing done in the media and propaganda in movies. Her ignorance could easily lead to a misunderstanding. I guess the worst thing could be if she is putting up with the gun thing because of her feelings for you... She might be hoping that she can change you or set up some kind of boundaries. If this is the case... your outlook is bleak. I say this because most women argue or debate from an emotional point of view and not a logical or reasoned point of view. I have found out that there is seldom any point in trying to reason with an emotional women.

You are better off finding a woman who shares your core beliefs such as politics, religion, and sex. Trying to change a woman from being an emotional, anti-gun, socialist into being a gun loving conservative is almost impossible. In the end it might be safer for you and your guns if you find another woman.

Good luck.

RussP
10-29-2011, 19:09
We had a good talk about it today and we are now both on the same page about everything. Her only request is that she wants to know when I'm carrying to and lock it in my truck when I go to her house or a family member's house. I told her I'd be fine with that but I'm going to carry in public wherever I lawfully can and she was fine with that so we will see what happens. Thanks to everybody for all your help.GEN3, start a new thread if there are any updates.

I believe this thread had run its course.