What do you do? [Archive] - Glock Talk

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puckhead
12-07-2011, 03:44
What do you tell people you do? Not the normal people but the people you don't want knowing you are a cop? For a while I told them I worked for the city, but they always say doing what. Havent come up with anything new! Maybe I could use storm chaser?? lol

bccop
12-07-2011, 04:47
What do you tell people you do? Not the normal people but the people you don't want knowing you are a cop? For a while I told them I worked for the city, but they always say doing what. Havent come up with anything new! Maybe I could use storm chaser?? lol

I've used city garbage collector, city engineer, or city event planner with equal success.

txleapd
12-07-2011, 05:43
I have no qualms about telling people what I do.

puckhead
12-07-2011, 06:38
I have no qualms about telling people what I do.

I usually don't either. But there are some time when it is not the best idea. I get great haircut from one place but they sure don't like the popo. Don't want Sharp things around my head and have to wonder.

trdvet
12-07-2011, 06:39
It depends on who is asking. Sometimes I'll say I'm in social work, a traffic safety liaison for the city or a professional babysitter.

cwr
12-07-2011, 07:45
To just screw with them I tell them I'm the leader of the baby daddy removal team. It usually takes them a bit to figure that out. If I don't want to tell them I work for the PD I tell them I'm a professor - which is actually my other job.

CanIhaveGasCash
12-07-2011, 07:49
I tell people I work for the City, if they inquire further I tell them that I drive a snow plow.

jwhite75
12-07-2011, 08:04
I usually don't either. But there are some time when it is not the best idea. I get great haircut from one place but they sure don't like the popo. Don't want Sharp things around my head and have to wonder.


My buddy and colleague got his hair cut one place for years by the same lady. She retired unexpectedly. He went in for a cut and found a new lady at the mall spot he goes too. She asked what he does and he told her he was a probation officer. She then began railing on about her baby daddy and cousins and uncle all recently being sent to jail or having their parole revoked.

He didnt get a good haircut....

jwhite75
12-07-2011, 08:08
To the OP....I am a risk analyst for a large insurance provider working expressly with mulltinational corporations.

By the time, I finish saying that well practiced line they will rarely know what it actually is and change the subject to something they are comfortable discussing.

I am a probation officer in the courts, so I am the jerk way worse than a cop who sends the person to prison...after they got off on probation. I ruin the lives of their mommy, step daddy, cousins uncles and baby mammas. Never know who I talk to that is attached to them.

boomhower
12-07-2011, 08:11
Behavior Modification Specialist is my default answer.


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rookie1
12-07-2011, 11:01
Behavior Modification Specialist is my default answer.


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Consider that response stolen. I couldn't think of anything and will tell people what I do, but not everyone. I get my haircut every 2 weeks and the people somewhat know me and maybe 2 of them know what I do. One of them was a former reserve back in her prime so it went over fairly smooth. Otherwise I just avoid conversation with people all together. I'm not ashamed I just don't like how people think this job is like TV so stupid questions get asked.

I know a guy that works for the state "DNE" (Department of Narcotics Enforcement) he told folks he was a purchasing agent for the state. Thought it was clever.

Gombey
12-07-2011, 11:09
I'm still new to this job (State Probation/Parole Officer) and waited 2 years for chance that I can't wait to answer the question LOL!

Mind you I live about an hour away from office and about 2 hours from the coutny I will supervise once I get out of the academy....and my barber is in another country
----EDIT------

I know, I know. It's an old thread, but in the few months I've been employed my answer has changed.

I now tell people I'm a baby sitter for the state, or I'm a mental health tech (my part time job)

RMolina628
12-07-2011, 11:14
I just tell them I deal with the logistics and long term warehousing of unwanted material.

nitesite10mm
12-07-2011, 11:16
I've said that I own a kiosk in the mall where you can get a pedicure and sing karaoke, while sitting in massage chairs. I named my business "Toe Jam".

ateamer
12-07-2011, 13:05
I'm a civil service worker. I train public employees in customer service delivery and workplace safety practices.

Bren
12-07-2011, 13:07
What do you tell people you do? Not the normal people but the people you don't want knowing you are a cop? For a while I told them I worked for the city, but they always say doing what. Havent come up with anything new! Maybe I could use storm chaser?? lol

I quit being a cop in 1995, but I find it hard to believe that the world has changed so much some of you now lie about what you do. Here, I don't know a single officer who makes any attempt to hide what they do - most have a marked car parked in front of their house and some drive it off duty, where allowed. I've never even met a cop, far as I know, who was afraid to tell people what his job was.

In the places where I've worked, you police your neighbors and even family members - if you're afraid to have people know you're a cop, you quit.

Denied
12-07-2011, 13:12
I always used garbage collector, sanitation engineer or the like, that is as close to the truth as I could get.

Sharky7
12-07-2011, 13:21
I manage and regulate the urban alternative street side pharmaceutical sales market.

Sharky7
12-07-2011, 13:32
I quit being a cop in 1995, but I find it hard to believe that the world has changed so much some of you now lie about what you do. Here, I don't know a single officer who makes any attempt to hide what they do - most have a marked car parked in front of their house and some drive it off duty, where allowed. I've never even met a cop, far as I know, who was afraid to tell people what his job was.

In the places where I've worked, you police your neighbors and even family members - if you're afraid to have people know you're a cop, you quit.

Different cultures in different parts of the US.

There was a detective in one of the towns close by just a few months back who had someone break into his house going after his family. I have personally worked cases where bad guys have broken into homes knowing that it is a police officer's home because they thought they could steal guns. A local PD had an off duty officer attacked and killed while washing his car in front of his home while still in uniform after he got off work. You want to come after me on duty - game on. My family does not deserve to be involved though.

Lots of guys like to keep a low profile, me included. I am very proud of my profession and all of my friends and neighbors know what I do. But, random people I meet don't always need to know. Then they start asking questions about how to get out of tickets or complaining about how they caught a DUI case, etc. Don't want to hear it from them sometimes. Off duty, I just want to be off duty. I don't wear 5.11 pants, bates boots, badge on my belt, and cut the pie around every corner I turn. I carry off duty and am prepared for encounters.....but I generally blend in and want to be able to enjoy a regular life.

ateamer
12-07-2011, 13:44
I quit being a cop in 1995, but I find it hard to believe that the world has changed so much some of you now lie about what you do. Here, I don't know a single officer who makes any attempt to hide what they do - most have a marked car parked in front of their house and some drive it off duty, where allowed. I've never even met a cop, far as I know, who was afraid to tell people what his job was.

In the places where I've worked, you police your neighbors and even family members - if you're afraid to have people know you're a cop, you quit.
Sometimes I just don't want to listen to some GNGer type ***** and whine about a ticket they got, ask if I know "Bill" who works for some department 2,000 miles away or try to get me to tell all the juicy details of some major investigation that isn't any of their business or criticize the profession in general.

nikerret
12-07-2011, 13:49
I quit being a cop in 1995, but I find it hard to believe that the world has changed so much some of you now lie about what you do. Here, I don't know a single officer who makes any attempt to hide what they do - most have a marked car parked in front of their house and some drive it off duty, where allowed. I've never even met a cop, far as I know, who was afraid to tell people what his job was.

In the places where I've worked, you police your neighbors and even family members - if you're afraid to have people know you're a cop, you quit.

It's not about being afraid. I work in a smaller area nd everyone know I am a cop. I call it the seperation of one. There isn't a person who lives in this County who doesn't know someone I've dealt with; most likely arrested. Even if they have never met me, they know someone who has.

Hell, if I was afraid, I could never go outside my home off duty. The gym is the best/worst. Nothing like trying to max out with several guys you've arrested, and their buddies within ten feet of you. I've never worked in a correctional facility, but I have an idea what walking through population is like.

When I go out of town, I usually make up something as an occupation. It's fun and it avoids problems. At home, that's not an option. I'm proud of what I do and what I am, but it isn't worth having to walk away from bar fights and having to answer all the questions I get asked when people find out I'm a cop. I tell them I work over 100 miles away and they still want to know if I would give them a ticket.

nikerret
12-07-2011, 13:50
Sometimes I just don't want to listen to some GNGer type ***** and whine about a ticket they got, ask if I know "Bill" who works for some department 2,000 miles away or try to get me to tell all the juicy details of some major investigation that isn't any of their business or criticize the profession in general.

This came out better than my post.

collim1
12-07-2011, 15:00
I've used city garbage collector, city engineer, or city event planner with equal success.

I have told many people I drive a garbage truck. When they giggle I ask whats so funny? Usually shuts them up.

I hate telling strangers what I do. They all have the same lame o "jokes" to say, and the worst is the stories about his cousin's friend's sister who got arrested for DUI and she wasn't even drunk.

Cochese
12-07-2011, 15:06
I just say I'm a firearms instructor.

RocPO
12-07-2011, 19:00
Male stripper.

Patchman
12-07-2011, 20:09
Male stripper.

Work in gay or straight clubs?

Just asking. :whistling: :supergrin:

AngryBassets
12-07-2011, 21:13
Two younger single guys tell girls at bars that one is a school bus driver, and the other cleans the buses.

Hack
12-08-2011, 10:03
I tell them what I do if I am comfortable enough in the environment. Otherwise, I just tell them my actual position, and use the Department, because they don't really know what that is.

silverado_mick
12-08-2011, 10:16
I'm not clean cut enough anymore to pull off an office job cover, so for me it's either dock worker or city sanitation usually. I used dock worker last night actually.

rockapede
12-08-2011, 11:10
Driver for a free taxi service?

Agent6-3/8
12-08-2011, 11:29
I have no qualms about telling people what I do.

This. I don't advertise it or volunteer any info, but if people ask, they get the truth. Sure, it gets old sometimes, but so does lying...

MeefZah
12-08-2011, 13:56
I don't associate with anyone who I don't feel comfortable trusting with the knowledge that I'm a cop.

If some random stranger just approached me and spontaneously asked what I did, that would be a pretty suspicious interaction which would jack my awareness level through the roof. They might then be able to figure out my occupation from the department markings on my gat, without me saying a word.

SCSU74
12-08-2011, 16:14
Human resources or customer service specialist haha


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bccop
12-08-2011, 21:23
In the places where I've worked, you police your neighbors and even family members - if you're afraid to have people know you're a cop, you quit.

Not all of us work in Mayberry. I'm not afraid of letting people know what I do, I'm just a little bit more discreet. My family, friends, and neighbours know what I do. I work for a larger agency (1300 sworn members) and live 40 minutes outside the city I work for.

Not every person I meet needs to know what I do for a living either because;

a) they look like a loon or are likely someone who is going to want to complain about why marijuana should be legalized, their last speeding ticket/impaired, how I feel about being part of the oppressive arm of the state.

b) they look like a sh%%rat.

c) it's none of their business what I do for a living and I just don't feel like talking with them about it at that particular time.

lawman800
12-08-2011, 21:58
Too many off duty ambushes or attacks in LA County to make anyone want to talk about their job. I think I have used garbage man, research analyst, clerk, street front therapist, Special Tactics And Rescue Squad (STARS), zombie hunter, professional vampire, airsoft combat enthusiast, foreign chocolate treat cataloguer, and insect combat specialist.

Newcop761
12-08-2011, 22:03
Import / Export business. I deal with the export side. :tbo:

SAR
12-08-2011, 23:46
I don't tell anyone what I do. Not my neighbors, not most of my friends, and none of the people who come to my house. Since I own a company, it's very easy for me. I have company business cards, business phone, even a website, so as far as anyone besides the police folks know, I am president of a company. I'm even a member of the chamber of commerce. In Los Angeles, it's too dangerous to let anyone know what you do. Did anyone see what the CabinCr3w did the other day? In retaliation for the Occupy LA arrests, they posted names and vital information on a blog site of a bunch of LAPD Command Staff including residence address, names or spouses and children, their mortagage, and all sorts of other personal information. No thanks, I'm a nobody. Google my name and you will not get any hits with me affiliated with the Department that I work for...

Newcop761
12-09-2011, 00:14
I chose my profession. My wife and kids did not.

Bullman
12-09-2011, 00:53
When I worked for an incorporated city at the police department, I told people I was a "corporate security professional" sounded very private sector.

Now I just tell people that I give out high speed driving awards.

The-Fly
12-09-2011, 00:59
I just say I'm a firearms instructor.

Hey! That's MY pickup line!

:tongueout:

Tvov
12-09-2011, 06:29
This thread reminded of what a friend says sometimes. He owns a cleaning company - they clean offices, homes, carpet cleaning, etc. He has gotten some odd reactions at gatherings (mostly from stuck up people), so his reponse sometimes to "what do you do?" is: "I'm a proctologist."

This works fine, except if there are a bunch of senior citizens at the party... then they pepper him with medical questions! lol!

Ghost46
12-09-2011, 10:02
My brother worked for the DEA back in the late 1970's and did UC work.If you knew him in those days he looked like your typical outlaw biker.Not to many people asked him what he did for a living either.
I gotta hand it to you guys in LE, I couldn't do your job and keep my cool knowing I'd have to arrest all kinds of scum and I couldn't stomp some of their heads in the ground. Child killers,molesters etc...I'd have to bust some heads.

glockurai
12-09-2011, 13:29
If I don't know the person my usual response is "security."

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Mad Trapper
12-09-2011, 16:23
Im always a clown instructor at a clown college.

Vigilant
12-09-2011, 17:44
Male stripper would fit, since I still have to conduct a strip search now and then.

My Barber knows what I do, and if someone gets pissed off when they learn that I am in Corrections, it makes my day. Even so, I have used the term 'social worker'. Also, 'Professional Attitude Adjuster at the Graybar Hotel'. Unfortunately, there are times when I have to use a bit of finesse these days....

lawman800
12-09-2011, 18:30
In retaliation for the Occupy LA arrests, they posted names and vital information on a blog site of a bunch of LAPD Command Staff including residence address, names or spouses and children, their mortagage, and all sorts of other personal information.

That's a crock of ****! You want to come after me, go ahead, take your best shot, *******!

Endangering my family who has nothing to do with this? Y'all gonna get a whole lotta ass whuppin like what you see in Hollywood with the cops who got nothing to lose and a lot of vendetta to pay.

larry_minn
12-09-2011, 19:49
I have been with a number of Officers in a public setting when this type of question comes up. It has been hard to keep a strait face.

I worked Corrections for a while. When the "residents" would ask "Where you from" I always gave the city I went to College in. Far from my home. Yes I went back for some extra training/schooling. They wanted to start something there was on thing. (I normally worked Security when going to school, so I was kinda watching anyway)

Nothing wrong with protecting your family/off duty time...

banger
12-09-2011, 20:01
I used to tell the neighbors that I worked for the D.P.W., picking up road kill.

It gave them and answer, and seemed to satisfy their curiosity.:rofl:


It also helps to use any prior jobs you have had in life as a starting point in
fabricating a believable story.


Of course, I have also told people that I was a "Boogie Woogie" piano player in a whore house.

ghstface38
12-10-2011, 17:05
Firefighter.


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lawman800
12-10-2011, 22:42
Firefighter.

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I see you want people to love you.:supergrin:

Bullman
12-11-2011, 01:21
Firefighter.


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I see you want people to love you.:supergrin:

Basement saver :tongueout::supergrin:

DoogieHowser
12-11-2011, 01:29
Firefighter.


End of thread! Though I've got nothing to say since I interview with the local FD in Jan.

RyanNREMTP
12-11-2011, 01:56
I see you want people to love you.:supergrin:

Just for the night. :tongueout:

As a paramedic I've told people that I drive the short bus around town.

lawman800
12-11-2011, 06:20
Fire Department = Evidence Eradication Team

indigent
12-11-2011, 09:45
Firefighter.


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Oh so you're good at cooking chili and playing XBox.....

Newcop761
12-11-2011, 12:27
mechanismof injury!

Save the slab!! :rofl:

series1811
12-11-2011, 12:53
I always said, "Nothing. Why, are they hiring where you work? Could I use your name?"

They always ran away, for some reason. :)

lawman800
12-11-2011, 13:35
Oh so you're good at cooking chili and playing XBox.....

Over here, they would be semi-pro valleyball players and bbq chefs.:whistling: