Hope this New Year... [Archive] - Glock Talk

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GioaJack
01-01-2012, 13:43
turns out a little better than the end of last year.

Had been looking forward to a big New Year's Eve party for a couple of weeks. Had the tux dry cleaned, worked out just a bit longer each day to drop a couple extra pounds, got the hair freshly coiffed... all the normal stuff to please the ladies.

Was all dressed with the exception of my jacket and my dress boots which I only wear with my tux and are a size 14 instead of my normal size 15 boots so they are a bit snug and take some effort to get into.

Was having trouble getting the left one on so put on thinner socks and sprinkled baby powder in the boot. After a minute or so managed to get it on. (I was very pleased with myself, mostly because small minds amuse easily.)

Sprinkled baby powder in the right one, (probably should have sprayed a liberal dose on One Shot case lube), stuck my foot in the top of the boot, pulled on the upper loops and a shotgun blast went off in my head.

My damn back snapped down in the L4-L5 area.

Luckily my daughter and son-in-law hadn't left for their New Years party so I was able to get them to me pretty quickly through this new invention called a cell phone. (If you guys haven't heard of 'em you should really look into the technology... they come in real handy in situations where you'd just lay there and decompose if someone didn't come find you, although Dawg probably would eat my body before that happened. I'm not totally convinced that she really loves her daddy.)

Unlike Dawg, my daughter actually loves me and immediately wanted to call 911. I'm tired of paying the deductible for $1300 ambulance rides or $14,700 Flight for Life adventures so I put the nix on that.

After a few minutes of laying across the bed and listening to my daughter demand I go to the hospital and my son-in-law calling me an idiot for doing something that I knew would hurt me my legs pretty much regained near normal movement... well, near normal if you don't count tear producing pain.

Not to be cheated out of seeing the elegantly dressed ladies and wasting the money I had spent on two-dozen roses for two of the special ones I made a command decision. (Command decisions are easy to make when you're ordering around the people who are in your will... you simply tell them you'll change it and leave everything to the Committee to re-elect Obama.)

My son-in-law managed to get my boot on, (really wish I'd thought about the case lube), then helped me get my jacket on since I couldn't raise my arms high enough to get it on by myself. (A few of my happy pills chased with a few fingers of scotch would have hit the spot but I had to drive so that was out of the question.)

Being too vain to use my walker or one of my many canes, (I even have a custom made one to use when I'm in a tux), I had my daughter and SIL walk me across the ice covered ground to my truck and pour me into it.

Unfortunately the New Year arrived without me being able to dance and needing assistance from friends to help me outside for a frequent cigarette, (in lieu of anything else available nicotine actually substitutes as a pain killer).

All in all the night was very enjoyable if for no other reason I refused to start off the New Year lying in bed like a useless piece of meet... that may happen soon enough.

At this very moment I'm missing our monthly black powder shoot at the club, (even though I'd still be able to beat Little Stevie and Zombie Steve. Hell, I'll be dead three-days and still be able to beat them). I'm making up for the loss of a shooting day with a pot of coffee my daughter made for me, cigarettes and copious amounts of morphine.

Plan on spending the day trying to stay awake watching football but I suspect I'm really not going to care who wins.

Although it may be a few weeks until I can take any heavy recoil I'll manage to get back into the loading room within a few days. Zombie Steve wants to come up so I have to get everything welded down or locked away so he can't steal or break stuff.

Although the past year didn't end on a high note the New Year dawned with a bright blue sky and endless opportunities. I plan on having a very good coming year... I hope you all do too.

DAWG! Get off my oxygen hose... and where the hell are my pills?


Jack

WiskyT
01-01-2012, 14:02
Sorry for the break Jack. Are you sure your daughter didn't just snap a tinkertoy as a practical joke?

Feel better. And remember, I'm the only one who really loves you. Leave your gear to Dawg and make me his custodian.

DoctaGlockta
01-01-2012, 14:07
Hang in there Jack. Happy New Year.

<iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ImkszoYtD58" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" width="420"></iframe>

Colorado4Wheel
01-01-2012, 14:23
Jez, Jack. You need to take better care of yourself. Happy New Year.

F106 Fan
01-01-2012, 14:28
Happy new year and best wishes for a speedy recovery.

Richard

ColoCG
01-01-2012, 14:58
Happy New Year Jack, hurry up and get healed up again. You need to start taking better care of yourself.


Charlie

FLSlim
01-01-2012, 15:41
Jack, sounds like the fun never ends. My best for the new year.

steve4102
01-01-2012, 15:54
Happy New Year Jack, wish you could have stated this year out with a lot less pain.

norton
01-01-2012, 16:19
I worry when I see long threads from you.
Take care Mister.
It should help to ease your pain to know the Colts are going to get the # overall draft pick in 2012.

Zombie Steve
01-01-2012, 16:26
...and you say I break a lot of stuff in your house?

:fist:

n2extrm
01-01-2012, 18:07
Jack,

Just want to wish you a happy new year and a speedy recovery. Feel better my friend.

Ken

TX Archer
01-01-2012, 20:00
Take care of yourself, Jack. I don't know you like others do, but I appreciate your contributions as much as anyone.

(Will that kind of butt-smooching get me into the will?)

EL_NinO619
01-01-2012, 20:32
Damn you Jack, again... To think all that money you got, you could not keep the "paid" lose moral lady friends to put your darn boot on... And to think when I was a Newb you yelled and me for using to much lube, wish you took a note from me now dont'cha... Lube it or lose it...

Please throw away your darn dress "boots" in the pic below and get better..

http://www.img.aksfa.net/Reza/2010/Shoe_womens1/Weird-and-Funny-Shoes/weird-and-funny-shoes39.jpg

shotgunred
01-01-2012, 21:46
Colorado is a pretty liberal state you must have medical marijuana.

PCJim
01-01-2012, 21:48
Sorry to hear of your misfortune, there. Certainly hope that your continuing on with the evening's party didn't do further damage.

Here's hoping that 2012 is a lot better than this past year, and that you somehow get that back of yours fixed up right. All the best.

rpgman
01-02-2012, 06:58
Wishing u a speedy recovery Jack.
And a Happy New Year.
Greg

Beanie-Bean
01-02-2012, 07:00
Get well soon, Jack! Happy New Year to you, too.

Hoser
01-02-2012, 07:23
I will send a nurse up ASAP.

Hogpauls
01-02-2012, 12:01
Happy New Year Jack! Hope you and all of GTR has a healthy, prosperous year filled with reloading joy. :wavey:

fredj338
01-02-2012, 14:33
Happy New Year Jack, hurry up and get healed up again. You need to start taking better care of yourself.


Charlie
Seriously Jack! I am not making a trip out there in June to watch you lay around the on the couch! Feel better buddy.:wavey:

kcbrown
01-03-2012, 03:41
Ouch.

Get well soon, Jack.

I need you to break in that 1050 for me. :whistling:


You know, there are probably less painful ways of getting in with those hot nurses... :faint:

IndyGunFreak
01-03-2012, 11:46
Jez, Jack. You need to take better care of yourself. Happy New Year.

Agreed...

I hope everyone has a safe, happy and HEALTHY 2012