Make up a historical fact [Archive] - Glock Talk

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itisbruno
05-11-2012, 21:45
During Apollo 13's mission to the moon, Astronauts smuggled Taco Bell onto the space capsule. The farts let out by the crew after consuming their meals resulted in an overpressurization of the capsule, causing an explosion, and forced their return to the earth without making a moon landing.

raven11
05-11-2012, 21:55
During glock manufacturing the plastic resin is injected with pig fat to help the steel slide over the plastic frame more smoothly


Also giving glocks a distinctive pig nose look

M&P Shooter
05-11-2012, 22:02
The United Sates made up the whole bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki to cover up the truth of the 1st prototype Glock 20's that suffered KB's

itisbruno
05-11-2012, 22:17
The United Sates made up the whole bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki to cover up the truth of the 1st prototype Glock 20's that suffered KB's

:animlol:

TKM
05-11-2012, 22:19
It was like that when I got here.

G29Reload
05-11-2012, 22:29
"You can trust most stuff you see on the Internet."
-Abraham Lincoln

M&P Shooter
05-11-2012, 22:31
Never trust a fart, sometimes they lie:whistling:

itisbruno
05-11-2012, 22:34
America mass produces the finest beer available anywhere in the world.

Rizzo
05-11-2012, 22:39
R&D in China stands for Research and Development, not Receive and Duplicate.

M&P Shooter
05-11-2012, 22:41
Justin Bieber is the biggest rock star since Van Halen:tongueout:

itisbruno
05-11-2012, 22:47
After defeating the Mexicans at the Alamo, the Canadian Army retreated 2253 miles north to escape the stench of the aftermath of refried beans.

PA1911
05-11-2012, 22:48
During the Civil War, Union and Confederate officers typically carried Glock pistols

itisbruno
05-11-2012, 22:51
Sly Stallone posed for a painting by Raphael in the Vatican in 1511 (http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4308769/Rocky-star-Stallone-sneaks-into-Vatican-painting-on-the-Sly.html)

http://img.thesun.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01506/Stallone_Raphael_5_1506080a.jpg

okie
05-11-2012, 22:54
During Apollo 13's mission to the moon, Astronauts smuggled Taco Bell onto the space capsule. The farts let out by the crew after consuming their meals resulted in an overpressurization of the capsule, causing an explosion, and forced their return to the earth without making a moon landing.

Go Taco Bell:rofl::rofl:

okie
05-11-2012, 22:55
America mass produces the finest beer available anywhere in the world.

We do for sure:thumbsup:

okie
05-11-2012, 22:59
Contrary to popular belief, John Moses Browning not, Gaston Glock is responsible for the finest hand gun ever made:thumbsup:

TSAX
05-11-2012, 23:01
Gaston Glock dated a member of John M. Browning's product development department and stole the plans for the Glock and paid off those employees :whistling:

Only those "in the know" have this info, it is deemed Top Secret :notlistening::zipmouth:











:50cal:

okie
05-11-2012, 23:04
Oooooops I miss read the thread title:embarassed:

10mm Sonny
05-11-2012, 23:06
It wasn't over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor.

itisbruno
05-11-2012, 23:06
Oooooops I miss read the thread title:embarassed:


:whistling:


:supergrin:

taurn88
05-11-2012, 23:13
aliens killed the dinosaurs

itisbruno
05-11-2012, 23:19
Thanks to the Germans, no one won the French and Indian War.

Ford302Glock21
05-11-2012, 23:43
Obama became the champion of the middle class citizens and ended this country's long history of fake, dishonest, crooked millionaire politicians with shady personal agendas.

Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine

truetopath
05-11-2012, 23:49
Eric Holder tells the truth and hell freezes over.

Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine

cgwahl
05-11-2012, 23:50
Archduke Franz Ferdinand was found alive shortly after the end of the Great War. World War 1 was fought in vain.

VinnieD
05-11-2012, 23:56
In 1776 the constitution was written by the founding fathers consisting of George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, Leonidas, John Wayne, and Jesus. It foretold the coming of a messiah and you shall name him Ronald Regan. They then proceeded to defeat the British army while playing heavy metal guitar solos riding atop giant flaming red white and blue eagles.

DairyFresh
05-12-2012, 00:15
There were no such animals as lobsters until 2-3 years after the bikini atoll atomic tests. No mentions in history, recipes, NOTHING. The US government refuses to admit they are giant underwater radioactive cockroaches, and has created a lucrative market fr this now "delicacy".

okie
05-12-2012, 00:21
Rosie O'Donnell realizes the errors of her ways and buys a bunch of 1911's and AR-15's and joins the NRA and donates 5 Million dollars to the NRA:rofl::rofl:

HiddenEyes
05-12-2012, 03:47
Slick Willie gave us one of the greatest economies of all time, until Bush messed it up.





Mr. HE:cool:

Highspeedlane
05-12-2012, 04:20
The fact you have the right to vote means you live in a free society.

automatic slim
05-12-2012, 06:05
The Roth IRA was originally named the David Lee Roth IRA. His real last name is Rothschild, and is one of the wealthiest people in the world. He was also the original lead singer for Elvis.

Amazing man.....

Johnspark
05-12-2012, 06:14
The Roth IRA was originally named the David Lee Roth IRA. His real last name is Rothschild, and is one of the wealthiest people in the world. He was also the original lead singer for Elvis.

Amazing man.....

Yeah, and I hear Pink Floyd was named entertainer of the year. He's so awesome.

Brucev
05-12-2012, 06:22
Re: OP. Barack Obama was born in Hawaii.

Cmacc
05-12-2012, 06:27
I will NOT get out of bed in 3 minutes and spend my Saturday moving my pastor and his household across town to their new home, I love that man.

Wait....... I really do love him.

Agonizer
05-12-2012, 06:35
Elizabeth Warren, helped Al Gore invent the internet, while she served as tribal president for the Cherokee Nation.

crossfade
05-12-2012, 06:47
The Great Wall of China was the fist entry into the Guinness Book of World Records. It won the title "the worlds longest roller coaster".

Glockdude1
05-12-2012, 07:00
Obama.

Best president evah!!

:cool:

tim12232
05-12-2012, 07:13
There were no such animals as lobsters until 2-3 years after the bikini atoll atomic tests. No mentions in history, recipes, NOTHING. The US government refuses to admit they are giant underwater radioactive cockroaches, and has created a lucrative market fr this now "delicacy".

Wooo:wow: is that for real?? :dunno:






























:tongueout: HAHAHa JK :animlol: :rofl:

10mm Sonny
05-12-2012, 07:43
I invented pants.

M&P Shooter
05-12-2012, 07:47
Obama has solved the world deficit and dropped the unemployment percentage in the U.S. to 1.2 Also Obama has made good on all promises and gas is now .75 a gallon and we have achieved world peace.

686Owner
05-12-2012, 08:49
We never landed on the moon and 9/11 was a govt cover up.

M&P Shooter
05-12-2012, 08:55
George Bush doesn't like Kayne West

itisbruno
05-12-2012, 09:17
George Armstrong Custer deserted his troops during the battle of Little Big Horn and migrated to Austria, where he changed his name to Gaston Glock.

The rest is history.

wrenrj1
05-12-2012, 09:21
Chuck Norris is really a woman.

HiddenEyes
05-12-2012, 11:13
Chuck Norris is really a woman.



http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v507/HiddenEyes/abandonthread.gif





Mr. HE:cool:

countrygun
05-12-2012, 12:39
The Transcontinental railroad was funded by the folks in the middle portion of the Country who were having a hard time getting a reliable supply of smoked oysters.

Highspeedlane
05-12-2012, 12:42
If it weren't for Al Gore, none of us would be on this forum today.

janice6
05-12-2012, 13:08
The story of the demiseof the dinosaurs is a lie. The only testament to the massive die off of the Dinosaur, is the remaining Yorkies.

In prehistoric days, there were herds of Yorkshire terriers wandering the lands in massive numbers. The sheer quantity of Yorkies required a significant food source, andthe only animals available in the necessary numbers to sustain them, were the Dinosaurs.

The Yorkies would wander the land in herds so large they seemed to go from horizon to horizon. It is said that the yapping could be heard for many miles foretelling theirapproach. They would relentlessly hunt down the defenseless Dinosaurs, and devour them in short order, by swarming them analogous to the frenzied Piranha.

Eventually all the Dinosaurs were gone. The Yorkie herds eventually ran out of foodand they also died off leaving only the few direct descendants remaining today.

This is why there are no more Dinosaurs, only Yorkies. We are witness today to the survival of the fittest, the Yorkie.

Glockdude1
05-12-2012, 13:42
Eric is really Elvis.

:cool:

itisbruno
05-12-2012, 14:17
The story of the demiseof the dinosaurs is a lie. The only testament to the massive die off of the Dinosaur, is the remaining Yorkies.

In prehistoric days, there were herds of Yorkshire terriers wandering the lands in massive numbers. The sheer quantity of Yorkies required a significant food source, andthe only animals available in the necessary numbers to sustain them, were the Dinosaurs.

The Yorkies would wander the land in herds so large they seemed to go from horizon to horizon. It is said that the yapping could be heard for many miles foretelling theirapproach. They would relentlessly hunt down the defenseless Dinosaurs, and devour them in short order, by swarming them analogous to the frenzied Piranha.

Eventually all the Dinosaurs were gone. The Yorkie herds eventually ran out of foodand they also died off leaving only the few direct descendants remaining today.

This is why there are no more Dinosaurs, only Yorkies. We are witness today to the survival of the fittest, the Yorkie.

:goodpost:

recycooler
05-12-2012, 14:34
There really is an ejector issue with Glocks


and


In 1910 The 45 round was actually a GAP round to start with then soon abandoned for the more popular ACP alldue to misinformed cowboys

SergeantC
05-12-2012, 16:23
The real reason Leonidas's 300 Spartans killed so many Persians is that they had two 1911's and a Glock 20.

DairyFresh
05-12-2012, 16:48
African slavery was invented and perpetuated by white Europeans.

Zukoda
05-12-2012, 17:52
Heard this on the news today... Really...

The dinosaurs died out because of flatulance... They farted so much that the air became overrich with methane gas and the atmosphere exploded... lol...

ilgunguygt
05-12-2012, 18:57
Heard this on the news today... Really...

The dinosaurs died out because of flatulance... They farted so much that the air became overrich with methane gas and the atmosphere exploded... lol...
Ban Beans, its for the children.:rofl:

BicycleDay43
05-12-2012, 19:50
The United Sates made up the whole bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki to cover up the truth of the 1st prototype Glock 20's that suffered KB's

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

itisbruno
05-12-2012, 22:51
Tous, Dragoon, and M2 Carbine provided security to the Continental Congress as they drafted the Declaration of Independence.

8-Ball
05-12-2012, 23:32
Tous, Dragoon, and M2 Carbine provided security to the Continental Congress as they drafted the Declaration of Independence.

He said make up a historical fact.

:rofl::rofl::rofl:

*ASH*
05-12-2012, 23:43
Obama is white

M&P Shooter
05-12-2012, 23:49
The 45gap was a prank that went to far.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:03
Scientists proved with 100% certainty that using any pistol other than a Glock will get you killed.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:04
James Yeager is a hero and true American treasure.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:04
A small ice cream come started the civil war.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:05
Only sub-standard handguns are shipped in cardboard boxes.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:06
The Enola Gay took off from a treadmill.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:07
Open carry prevented information from being released that would have proved the moon landings to be a conspiracy.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:08
JFK's last words before disappearing to his secret lair with Elvis: "It's on cuz!"

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:08
Taurus makes the best custom 1911 money can buy.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:09
ARs always suck, while AKs are always awesome.

NeverMore1701
05-13-2012, 00:10
Doctors thought that a 9mm killed someone, but then found the .45 under it.

VinnieD
05-13-2012, 00:34
Gun control laws have made us safer.

*ASH*
05-13-2012, 01:00
police are your friends


cooter the looter actually paid for all those heinekens

void *
05-13-2012, 01:11
The miniskirt is the result of early CIA mind control research. The in-depth studies showing the optimal ratio of skirt length to leg length, with respect to incapacitating the males in a civilian population, has not yet been declassified.

Folsom_Prison
05-13-2012, 02:11
James Yeager is a hero and true American treasure.

:rofl:

Highspeedlane
05-13-2012, 04:44
Stringent gun control laws and high tax rates have transformed American urban areas into models of safety, security and prosperity.

Contrast this with the lax gun control laws and low tax rates of small towns and rural areas. These are places that are not safe for our citizens. I can't recount the number of times I've made a simple trip to the rural mom and pop grocery store and gotten into a gun battle.

raven11
05-13-2012, 08:49
James Yeager is a hero and true American treasure.

Couldn keep a straight face when you typed that, could you?:rofl:

countrygun
05-13-2012, 09:17
Abraham Lincoln was an early believer in womens rights and an environmentalist. In his day it was all the fashion for women to wear constrictive corsets. these garments were made with whalebone ribs in them called "staves". they were quite uncomfortable and designed soley to make a womans figure more appealing to men.

One day a group of femminists met with Lincoln and demanded that he join their cause in outlawing this barbaric practice. He heartly joined in a chorus of their battle cry "Free the Staves". Unfortunately, a reporter covering the event tragically misheard or misspelled a word and the result was a great misunderstanding in American history.

Steel Head
05-13-2012, 09:27
Obama became the champion of the middle class citizens and ended this country's long history of fake, dishonest, crooked millionaire politicians with shady personal agendas.

Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine

And Obama is a love child of the rev. Jesse Jackson!

bowtie454
05-13-2012, 09:29
During glock manufacturing the plastic resin is injected with pig fat to help the steel slide over the plastic frame more smoothly


Also giving glocks a distinctive pig nose look

Maybe they should have just used pig iron.

Steel Head
05-13-2012, 09:29
Abraham Lincoln was an early believer in womens rights and an environmentalist. In his day it was all the fashion for women to wear constrictive corsets. these garments were made with whalebone ribs in them called "staves". they were quite uncomfortable and designed soley to make a womans figure more appealing to men.

One day a group of femminists met with Lincoln and demanded that he join their cause in outlawing this barbaric practice. He heartly joined in a chorus of their battle cry "Free the Staves". Unfortunately, a reporter covering the even tragically misheard or misspelled a word and the result was a great misunderstanding in American history.


:rofl:

bowtie454
05-13-2012, 09:33
Obama was born in Kenya (I really can't take credit for writing that one, seems to me I read it somewhere)

Steel Head
05-13-2012, 09:39
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v507/HiddenEyes/abandonthread.gif





Mr. HE:cool:

:rofl:I'm still laughing:rofl:

wavetrain75
05-13-2012, 11:32
The United States will elect a president who is a communist revolutionary with ties to domestic terrorists/murderers who will work to destroy American economy, influence, power and freedom.

Bill Powell
05-13-2012, 14:46
The Queen Mary, while being used as a troop transport, narrowly avoid cutting an escort destroyer in two by using a secret bow lift device which raised the bow and allowed the escort ship to scoot out of the way.

janice6
05-13-2012, 15:05
The United States will elect a president who is a communist revolutionary with ties to domestic terrorists/murderers who will work to destroy American economy, influence, power and freedom.



You are supposed to make up something that isn't really true.

wavetrain75
05-13-2012, 15:34
You are supposed to make up something that isn't really true.

We're not completely screwed.

eagle359
05-13-2012, 16:01
2032:President Bill Maher signs a bill that outlaws man/woman marriage. They are now civil unions.

Angry Fist
05-13-2012, 16:47
Tagged. Epic, this will be.... :supergrin:

wrenrj1
05-13-2012, 17:33
Chuck Norris is really a woman.

I am going in to hiding because of my statement...Chuck is PO'd.

I bought a missile silo to hide in. Geez, let that one out...

Mr. John Smith

dango
05-13-2012, 17:46
I discovered the Americas !

UtahIrishman
05-13-2012, 17:47
Jiffy Pop was invented in 1873

Melted butter was not invented until the following year

Glockdude1
05-13-2012, 17:49
I am really D.B. Cooper.
http://i32.tinypic.com/2cza9h3.jpg

I have proof!!

:supergrin:

wrenrj1
05-13-2012, 18:07
I discovered the Americas !
I'll vouch for this, I received a twitter when it happened...

Mr. John Smith

RyanSBHF
05-13-2012, 18:59
The Titanic didn't really hit an iceberg. One of the passengers had a negligent discharge with their Glock 20.

samurairabbi
05-13-2012, 19:18
The Queen Mary, while being used as a troop transport, narrowly avoid cutting an escort destroyer in two by using a secret bow lift device which raised the bow and allowed the escort ship to scoot out of the way.

Your entry is only MARGINALLY untrue! The Queen Mary, DID cut apart the Royal Navy cruiser Curacowa on a troopship run.

RWBlue
05-13-2012, 19:37
I shot the sheriff, but I didn't shoot the deputy.

ChuteTheMall
05-13-2012, 19:39
Marco Polo took spaghetti to China, and they called it Lo Mein.

Bill Powell
05-13-2012, 19:42
An old, old memory. I remembered it as being an escort destroyer. gimme a break, I'm old. I remember she didn't get an escort for the crossing cause she didn't need it. She picked it up close to shore.

As I remember it someone zigged when they should have zagged.

jay-bird
05-13-2012, 19:45
Tupac Shakur was murdered in Las Vegas.

Bill Powell
05-13-2012, 19:56
I do remember the claymore was invented in Scotland. It was initially clay and more. They took a clay pot, a chamber pot if they wanted to engage in biological warfare, and partially filled it with some old Chinese fireworks propellant they found. They finished filling it with rocks and some wax to hold it all in place. In the wax they wrote "Point this end toward them bloody Englishmen."

They invented a high speed fuse by having some idiot blow a burning ember through a reed, right into that fireworks propellant.

I understand they named a sword after it later.

RedNine
05-13-2012, 20:12
One time I seen a girl's swimsuit fall off. :cool:

Scott3670
05-13-2012, 20:30
The common belief is that the Titanic sunk when it hit an iceberg. The real story was that the ship's captain, Bubba, was overheard saying, "Hold my beer and watch this...".

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 20:49
George H W Bush has an IQ of 192

UtahIrishman
05-13-2012, 20:52
The slingshot was first used in battle by the Pics at the Battle of Edinburgh in 1372

countrygun
05-13-2012, 21:02
Whiskey was invented to make sure the Irish would never rule the world.

UtahIrishman
05-13-2012, 21:10
Whiskey was invented to make sure the Irish would never rule the world.

There's more truth in that than you know :supergrin:

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 21:12
The slingshot was first used in battle by the Pics at the Battle of Edinburgh in 1372

Shot by men in skirts drinking whisky

:supergrin:

tous
05-13-2012, 21:15
Dragoon44 and Fred Flintstone both worked at the Slate Rock and Gravel Company, but not at the same time.

countrygun
05-13-2012, 21:21
Once, on the Earth, there existed a people who conquered almost all lands they beheld. these people were the "Romans". They were a mighty and powerful people. Power has its darkside and they eventually slipped into debauchery, sadism, and their society declined. As karmic punishment for their misdeeds and errant ways, and to prevent them from ever rising to such lofty heights again, they were turned into Italians.

samurairabbi
05-13-2012, 21:23
Whiskey was invented to make sure the Irish would never rule the world.
Rum was invented to make sure Jamaicans would never WANT to rule the world.

Nords
05-13-2012, 21:23
http://i.imgur.com/tld87.jpg








http://i.imgur.com/C6fuz.jpg








http://i.imgur.com/BLJI7.jpg

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 21:31
Albert Einstein was an avid bodybuilder.

RWBlue
05-13-2012, 21:46
Albert Einstein invented LSD. It helped him develop the theory of relativity. The US gov. killed him because of it.

countrygun
05-13-2012, 21:47
There's more truth in that than you know :supergrin:


We need to give more of it to "Paddy" O'Bama.

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 21:48
After he was President, Harry S. Truman coached the Boston Celtics.

TSAX
05-13-2012, 22:07
Tagged. Epic, this will be.... :supergrin:

I wonder if this will turn into a sticky :whistling:










:50cal:

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 22:30
Prior to being admitted to the union as a state, North Carolina was named South Virginia.

HiddenEyes
05-13-2012, 22:41
Rubber boots were originally sold as formal footwear and were popular in DC as a means to keep ones socks smelling better. Farmers adopted them only after seeing how effective they were at protecting feet from malodors.. Once farmers started wearing them rubber boots fell out of fashion in high society, although they were briefly replaced by hip waders. Soon those in DC became accustomed to the smell of business in that town and footwear fashion returned to highly polished pieces of dead animals.





Mr. HE:cool:

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 22:48
Abraham Lincoln was afflicted with a bad case of laryngitis prior to giving the Gettysburg Address. He was forced to lip-sync the speech, which was actually delivered by actor John Wilkes Booth hidden beneath the stage.

Once Booth learned that Lincon was about to reveal the truth years later, he took matters into his own hands.

AA#5
05-13-2012, 22:48
While Hillary ran for president a few years ago, “El Pollo Loco” offered a “Hillary Clinton Combo.”

Two small breasts, two large thighs & a right wing.

8-Ball
05-13-2012, 22:49
The German's kamikaze attacks on Pearl Harbor are what brought the south into the American civil war.

8-Ball
05-13-2012, 22:57
Our first president, George Washington, ran for the presidency unopposed because nobody had the nerve to run against him. No one felt they were good enough to run against a guy that already had a U.S. state named after him.

itisbruno
05-13-2012, 23:11
It was not a conspiracy that killed JFK, but the wrath of a scorned lover.

Once Marilyn Monroe learned that JFK was ending their torrid love affair, she hired Lee Harvey Oswald to settle the score for her.

She was so distraught once she reallzed what she had done, she took her own life.

VinnieD
05-14-2012, 01:34
Alexander the great stopped expanding his empire the border of India when offered a bowl of curry. He promptly ran for the nearest bathroom and hasn't been seen since. Some say he's still in there. Surely he'll have it all out some day soon.

railfancwb
05-14-2012, 02:18
Eric Holder tells the truth and hell freezes over.


http://us.mg2.mail.yahoo.com/ya/download?fid=Sent&mid=2_0_0_2_34499_AC0JDUwAAEZ4T6ij%2Fw4Dw2Z4Puk&pid=2&tnef=&YY=1336983293336&file_name=photo.JPG&appid=YahooMailNeo

tsmo1066
05-14-2012, 08:31
Contrary to common belief, Robert E. Lee actually had no intention of surrendering at Appomattox Courthouse and was only there to discuss the disposition of captured troops between the two armies. It was not until Ulysses S. Grant said "Hell, let's just get this thing over with!" and challenged Lee to a game of "shots" that the surrender came about.

Officers close to Lee quote the Confederate General as saying "I agreed to WHAT???" while throwing up into his latrine bucket at his field command tent the next morning.

NOLA_glock
05-14-2012, 13:34
In 1763, Columbus sailed the deep blue sea.

MARKDANIEL
05-14-2012, 14:05
Back in wwII we were running short of rifles so we issued our troops sticks. The troops were told to point the stick and say bang. One troop reported it worked great. He shot and killed several germans by pointing his stick and saying bang. then one day a great big german was coming toward him he said bang the german kept coming bang the german kept coming bang the big german ran right over him. He reported hearing the german say tank,tank,tank.

M&P Shooter
05-14-2012, 14:13
Arnold Schwarzenegger was all natural in the late 70's 80's

series1811
05-14-2012, 14:23
Barak Obama was our most thoroughly vetted President.

mhambi
05-14-2012, 14:26
Last time I was at Arches National Park, I struck up a conversation with a group of German tourists. I went on an on about how amazing it was that the American Indians had carved all of these wonderful arch shapes using nothing but primitive hand tools.


The ranger that was within earshot was not amused. :rofl:

janice6
05-14-2012, 14:30
Both Eric Holder and Obama are found to really be white men in black face to win votes from those who didn't care enough to find out the truth.

ChuteTheMall
05-14-2012, 14:33
The Rong brothers invented the first successful airplane in 1893 in Kitti Hok, China but imperialist forces liberated it.

countrygun
05-14-2012, 14:57
Back in the dark days of WWI Africa was the subject of great concenr among the warring powers. To that end the British had military and aviation units all over the continent. The arial units were needed for recon missions over the vast territory. One of the airbases was located quite close to a series of farms. One day a farmer, Boer by persuasion, wnadered into the officers club on the airbase and announced that he had a problem.

"Meinherren, I have something of a problem as do my neighbors. There is a large lion that is killing our workers, farm animal and making our lives rough. We are a poor people but we have pooled our funds all will offer to buy two pints of ale for anyone who can eliminate this problem"

After a few minutes one of the pilots approached the farmer and agreed to take him up on the offer. The first pint of ale was ordered, while drinking it the pilot discussed the location of the ferocious feline. Finishing the beverage the pilot went to his plane and took off.

It took him some time flying the biplane to locate the critter, but he did. Divng down out of the sun he opened fire with his Lewis gun and dispatched the creature handily.

Returning to the base, he reported that, on his honor, the ruthless animal had been duely dispatched, where upon the farmer bought him another pint.

This, ladies and gentleman, was the first real proof of the theory that,

"The shortest distance between two pints, is a straffed lion"

wjv
05-14-2012, 15:32
Nov 2008 - The first Gay president was elected.
(So says Newsweek, so it must be true!)

SC Tiger
05-14-2012, 15:56
The Scots never wore kilts in battle. They wore full evening dresses covered in sequins. The preferred tactic is to engage the enemy at dawn while facing east. The sunlight reflecting off of the sequins blinds the enemy.

(stolen from The Simpsons)

jastroud
05-14-2012, 16:11
Shaggy and Scoobie went to college with Bill Clinton -they didn't inhale either.

wjv
05-14-2012, 17:06
Shaggy and Scoobie went to college with Bill Clinton -they didn't inhale either.

Didn't need to as Scoobie Snacks are really MJ brownies!

UtahIrishman
05-14-2012, 17:41
Charles Babbage invented the programmable computer in 1821 and his lovely assistant Ada Lovelace was the first programmer who wrote explicit instructions on how Babbage's machine could calculate many different things.

What is less well known is that the cabbage was originally named after Babbage, but something got lost in the translation to the 'colonies' and it became cabbage.

This is also the origin of the Cabbage Patch dolls. They bear a strange resemblance to Ada Lovelace.

SC Tiger
05-14-2012, 19:30
Hiroshima and Nagasaki were not destroyed by nuclear weapons.

Apparently Japanese food gives Chuck Norris gas....

Sent from my Kindle Fire using Tapatalk 2

itisbruno
05-14-2012, 19:34
In 1976, an Tennessee family visiting New York City stood at a broken DON'T WALK sign for three days.

wrenrj1
05-14-2012, 19:35
Back in wwII we were running short of rifles so we issued our troops sticks. The troops were told to point the stick and say bang. One troop reported it worked great. He shot and killed several germans by pointing his stick and saying bang.

I would only believe this if we were fighting the French in WWII!

Wren

itisbruno
05-14-2012, 19:44
Thomas Edison was the first person in history to say "is that how my voice really sounds?"

UtahIrishman
05-14-2012, 20:57
The slide rule was invented by Abbott and Costello. When they were told the Abacus was first their reply was no he's on second...and the rest is history

G29Reload
05-14-2012, 21:21
The statue of Liberty was built in France before being shipped over to the US. In order to make it seem more realistic, it was based on a real live female model. She was encased in a claylike medium with more material added on and nose holes to breath thru. After the medium was built up and hardened past a certain point, she was to be gently cut out of it and the base structure continued with more material added till the statue was full size.

Thing is, her mouth hole was blocked, and the time to cut her out came right around the time to go home. Someone forgot and then the sculpture crew went to a cafe to drink some wine.

They completely forgot by the time they came in the next morning all hung over, and the work continued with the woman trapped inside. She eventually got all sealed up and it wasn't till the full sized finished statue was on a boat for the new world that someone finally remembered, but by then it was too late and they decided to keep their mouths shut since she had to be long dead by then.

Give us your huddled masses, yearning to breathe free takes on a whole new meaning. Remember that the next time you go past on the Staten Island ferry. She's still in there.

countrygun
05-14-2012, 21:30
After the first time his wife called him, Alexander Graham Bell invented the "Mute" button.

tsmo1066
05-14-2012, 21:47
In 480 BC, King Leonidas stood in a hopeless position, facing Hitler's vaulted Eighteenth Mountain Corps as they prepared to strike through Thermopylae and into the heart of Greece. As the Nazis prepared to advance, even Spartan dedication and ferocity appeared useless in the face of Germany's elite mountain forces, tanks and overwhelming air support.

Fortunately for Leonidas and his 300 completely overmatched troops, the Germans realized after speaking with a local sheepherder that they were roughly 2400 years too early and decided to go home.

The Spartan's relief was shortlived, however, as Xerxes, who had been delayed for a few days seeking road directions at a local Buc-ee's, arrived less than an hour later with 400,000 Persian soldiers and a more accurate calendar.

countrygun
05-14-2012, 22:02
Nobody has been more misunderstood in history more than the Goths. They are blamed for much trouble and evil that was not really their fault. There was a genetic problem in their people that affected their eyesight. After bifocals were invented by Benjamin Franklin, they became really nice people and were afterword referred to as the "Visigoths".

NH Trucker
05-14-2012, 22:52
I went to Walmart over the weekend. I bought some nachos and munched on those as I made my way over to the sporting goods department to buy some super cheap 10mm ammo.

On my way there, I took a detour through electronics. It looked like they were playing a documentary about man made global warming. With how guilty I felt about my own contribution toward global warming with my steady diet of Taco Bell, I was compelled to watch it, if only to find out what I could do to personally prevent the ice caps from melting. I had plenty of time to kill, since I wasn't even close to half way through my nachos.

Walking towards the back wall, I saw this blonde standing by the tvs. She had a decent body for sure. As I got closer, I think she smelled my nachos because she turned around. She smiled at me..... kinda. What caught my attention were her eyes. There was something about them that wasn't quite right. But then my gaze lowered. They didn't look real, but hey, I'm not picky. Then she spoke, and after a few more seconds I went back to making eye contact. She asked for some of my nachos, to which I obliged her request. The look in her eyes made me think that if I didn't, the S might HTF.

She started blabbering on about this tv she was looking at. She said she used to have one just like it, but some guy took it from her place while she was at Bible study. I don't know what it was about this tv, but she wouldn't shut up about it. Just on and on and on. I think it was a Sony.

All of a sudden I got this feeling of dread. I started sweating profusely, my heart rate increased, I started shaking, and I had goosebumps. I thought to myself "Noooooo, it CAN'T be!"

Just to be sure, I motioned to offer her some more nachos, but reached in and tickled her. At that moment, I saw her teeth. They were jacked..... It was discusting.

I turned as fast as I could and made for the door like Rosie O'donnel going after a cupcake. I ran past the registers, took out the greeter with a ninja style jump kick (taught to me by Chuck Norris himself), and ran through the parking lot to my truck. I floored the gas, and in a flash I was out of there. Thank God she didn't follow me.


Contrary to what I had been told, open carry of my G20 did not prevent this.

Agonizer
05-14-2012, 23:07
The 10mm cartridge was developed by Hitler's engineers during World War II, to be used as an anti-tank round. It later found favor by the self defense crowd, and was adapted for hand gun use. It is a little known fact that U.S. Special forces use it as a very effective "bunker buster" round.

VinnieD
05-15-2012, 02:12
Believing in total equality, Soviet Russia adopted he AK-47 as a replacement for the Mosin Nagant in order to give other nations a fair chance.

The big bang was caused when a punch from Mr. T and a kick from Chuck Norris collided.

Obama paid your rent, your power bill, and put gas in your tank.

TSAX
05-15-2012, 02:30
After the first time his wife called him, Alexander Graham Bell invented the "Mute" button.

:rofl:, how can you not love this thread











:50cal:

OMEGA5
05-15-2012, 04:24
Last time I was at Arches National Park, I struck up a conversation with a group of German tourists. I went on an on about how amazing it was that the American Indians had carved all of these wonderful arch shapes using nothing but primitive hand tools.


The ranger that was within earshot was not amused. :rofl:

Sounds like something I'd do. Love it:supergrin:
Dano :harley:

SC Tiger
05-15-2012, 07:29
Helen of Troy was indeed "The face that launched 1000 ships." What is not as well known is that the ships launched to PREVENT her from coming home when she got homesick. Apparently she was a bit of a nagger.

SC Tiger
05-15-2012, 07:30
Hurricane Katrina did not destroy New Orleans. A local day care's 2-year-old class went on a field trip and the teacher went to the restroom, leaving the kids unsupervised. In fact, had Katrina not come in the damage would have been much worse, as the class cut short the field trip before they got to the French quarter.

Anyone who has had kids - especially boys - will appreciate this.

NH Trucker
05-15-2012, 08:24
Hurricane Katrina did not destroy New Orleans. A local day care's 2-year-old class went on a field trip and the teacher went to the restroom, leaving the kids unsupervised. In fact, had Katrina not come in the damage would have been much worse, as the class cut short the field trip before they got to the French quarter.

Anyone who has had kids - especially boys - will appreciate this.


I have a daughter that's about to turn 4. This isn't far off... :supergrin:



Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine

1911austin
05-15-2012, 17:25
The U.S. Senate passed a budget.

itisbruno
05-15-2012, 17:45
Since 1972, US Customs Agents have trained their dogs to distinguish the difference between Cuban and all other cigars.

G29Reload
05-15-2012, 18:04
Massive Pentagon-leased super computers have detected a trend that between Jan 5, 2007 and July 14, 2009, Okie posted a thread about new food discoveries only on odd-numbered days during months that had R in them.

The pattern was only discovered when seismic shifts in certain commodities buying was revealed to such an extent as to threaten the nation's food supply. The logisticians became concerned and dug deeper when whole supermarket rows of spam and various junk food would periodically be wiped out after certain online internet activity, causing purchasing agents to place such massive replenishment orders as to alter the nation's rail schedules. The demand for corn alone had the USDA sending out "plant heavy" advisories to farmers and even threatened the ethanol supply which spiked the price of oil between harvests when backfill wasn't available.

This was the original reason why the Government started monitoring GT, they originally thought it was terrorists trying to screw with the economy.

Kevin108
05-15-2012, 18:17
Benjamin Franklin invented lysergic acid diethylamide.

I actually read that on a Wiki article once. It was hilarious.

50 Cent
05-15-2012, 19:51
"From Wikepedia"

Everyone presumes the famous charge of the Light Brigade at Balaclava Oct 25 1854 during the Crimean War was an outstanding example of British heroism and dash in the face of overwhelming odds.

But history has concealed how rumours and the fog of war contributed to the action.

The commander of the British forces under Lord Raglan had initiated a forced march over two prior days in an effort to link up with the French, who it was presumed needed support.

That meant his soldiers and the cavalrymen of Lord Cardigan's Light Brigade were extremely hungry as their march outpaced their supply columns and all they had had to eat for 2 days were some crumpets and tea.

On arriving at Balaclava with the main force, Raglan ordered Cardigan to punch a hole in the Russian lines to ascertain the whereabouts of the French who were likely lost.

Seeing how the area of the assault was defended in depth with Russian gun emplacements, Cardigan received this order with less than enthusiasm and to cover his nervousness proceeded to knit a sweater, one of his pre-war hobbies.

At that point - fate intervened in the form of a group of British skirmishers who brought to Cardigan a Russian deserter. The deserted advised Cardigan that Texas mercenaries in the employ of the Czar were currently to the rear of the Russian guns, butchering a cow and preparing some Texas old style BBQ.

Cardigan who had studied engineering at Rice University in Houston knew the full value and flavor of the feast the Texans were preparing - particularly to his starving men!

In short order, his men cheerfully formed up - made ready - the bugle sounded "CHARGE" and the Light Brigade successfully stormed the Russian gun emplacements, albeit at heavy cost. The casualties were deemed regrettable by Cardigan but felt "...there would be less men to share the BBQ with..."

Unfortunately, after penetrating the Russian lines to the supply area in the rear, the Light Brigade found no Texans..no cow...just some surly Russian orderlies stirring up a half warmed supply of borscht.

But it was not all for naught...the British received numerous medals, much front page coverage and were the number one requested search item requested on Google for a lengthy period.

Lord Cardigan received a promotion and after the war retired, moved to Los Angeles and became a consultant to the movie industry.

(EDITORS NOTE - This section needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (May 2012)

wavetrain75
05-15-2012, 20:03
The Rong brothers invented the first successful airplane in 1893 in Kitti Hok, China but imperialist forces liberated it.

I thought it was the Long brothers.

M&P Shooter
05-15-2012, 20:23
This thread will be locked soon like all others.

ChuteTheMall
05-15-2012, 20:30
The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present. Tonight...

itisbruno
05-15-2012, 20:36
The Alaska state quarter is larger than all the others.

samurairabbi
05-15-2012, 21:17
"From Wikepedia"

Lord Cardigan received a promotion and after the war retired, moved to Los Angeles and became a consultant to the movie industry.

(EDITORS NOTE - This section needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (May 2012)

Supplemental Wikepedia material:

Lord Cardigan's movie consulting career was not successful. He missed two important trends:

- He thought "talkies" would never become popular.

- He thought television would have only minimal effect on theatre attendance.

The movie industry finally told him to stick to sweaters.

Rick C
05-15-2012, 21:23
Supplemental Wikepedia material:

Lord Cardigan's movie consulting career was not successful. He missed two important trends:

- He thought "talkies" would never become popular.

- He thought television would have only minimal effect on theatre attendance.

The movie industry finally told him to stick to sweaters.

samurairabbi speaks:supergrin: Member since 1998! You can't make that up!

countrygun
05-15-2012, 21:49
Hollow point ammunition is available to American civillians but may not be used on the battlefield due to the rules set forth in the "Geneva Conventions" The same restrictions also apply to Taco Bell.

RWBlue
05-15-2012, 22:41
Because of genetics the human race is getting smarter and has more common sense with each generation.

NeverMore1701
05-15-2012, 22:46
Because of genetics the human race is getting smarter and has more common sense with each generation.

Best one yet! :rofl::rofl::rofl:

janice6
05-15-2012, 23:02
"From Wikepedia"

Everyone presumes the famous charge of the Light Brigade at Balaclava Oct 25 1854 during the Crimean War was an outstanding example of British heroism and dash in the face of overwhelming odds.

But history has concealed how rumours and the fog of war contributed to the action.

The commander of the British forces under Lord Raglan had initiated a forced march over two prior days in an effort to link up with the French, who it was presumed needed support.

That meant his soldiers and the cavalrymen of Lord Cardigan's Light Brigade were extremely hungry as their march outpaced their supply columns and all they had had to eat for 2 days were some crumpets and tea.

On arriving at Balaclava with the main force, Raglan ordered Cardigan to punch a hole in the Russian lines to ascertain the whereabouts of the French who were likely lost.

Seeing how the area of the assault was defended in depth with Russian gun emplacements, Cardigan received this order with less than enthusiasm and to cover his nervousness proceeded to knit a sweater, one of his pre-war hobbies.

At that point - fate intervened in the form of a group of British skirmishers who brought to Cardigan a Russian deserter. The deserted advised Cardigan that Texas mercenaries in the employ of the Czar were currently to the rear of the Russian guns, butchering a cow and preparing some Texas old style BBQ.

Cardigan who had studied engineering at Rice University in Houston knew the full value and flavor of the feast the Texans were preparing - particularly to his starving men!

In short order, his men cheerfully formed up - made ready - the bugle sounded "CHARGE" and the Light Brigade successfully stormed the Russian gun emplacements, albeit at heavy cost. The casualties were deemed regrettable by Cardigan but felt "...there would be less men to share the BBQ with..."

Unfortunately, after penetrating the Russian lines to the supply area in the rear, the Light Brigade found no Texans..no cow...just some surly Russian orderlies stirring up a half warmed supply of borscht.

But it was not all for naught...the British received numerous medals, much front page coverage and were the number one requested search item requested on Google for a lengthy period.

Lord Cardigan received a promotion and after the war retired, moved to Los Angeles and became a consultant to the movie industry.

(EDITORS NOTE - This section needs additional citations for verification. Please help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may be challenged and removed. (May 2012)


And that was the first "Cardigan Sweater"?

ChuteTheMall
05-16-2012, 07:58
The didn't even serve baklava?
:crying:

Scott3670
05-16-2012, 08:57
The U.S. Senate passed a budget.

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
Best one yet!

HexHead
05-16-2012, 09:08
Benjamin Franklin invented lysergic acid diethylamide.

I actually read that on a Wiki article once. It was hilarious.

My daughter once changed the Wiki listing for Catherine the Great to say she started the first petting zoo.

Drain You
05-16-2012, 09:13
Benjamin Franklin invented lysergic acid diethylamide.

I actually read that on a Wiki article once. It was hilarious.


Funny, I just saw the thread and came to say that he invented GlockTalk in 1932.

CaptainXL
05-16-2012, 10:53
Barack Obama renamed BATF to BAT after signing an Executive Order eliminating all regulations on guns and gun ownership by law abiding U.S. citizens on May 16, 2012. This was followed by an announcement that he has authorized ICE to hire an additional 5,000 agents to find and deport illegal aliens currently in the U.S.

hdman30
05-16-2012, 11:26
On May 2, 1945 the mighty French Army stormed the Reichstag, effectively ending German resistance in WW2. Shortly thereafter, in keeping with French Military tradition, the soilders threw their rifles to the ground, raised their hands in the air and declared total victorty.

Kyle M.
05-16-2012, 16:01
It is a well guarded secret that in all actuality reincarnation is real and John M. Browning was reincarnated as Gaston Glock.

countrygun
05-16-2012, 16:37
Over the span of time many languages have been mixed and crossed and the definitions of some words, in their original language, have been lost, for instance, the Latin word "Politic" originally meant "sodomy for profit"

Kyle M.
05-16-2012, 17:22
Over the span of time many languages have been mixed and crossed and the definitions of some words, in their original language, have been lost, for instance, the Latin word "Politic" originally meant "sodomy for profit"

Now thats funny I don't care who you are.

wrenrj1
05-16-2012, 18:38
Sounds like Obama read this thread, he's changing past Presidents' history...

itisbruno
05-16-2012, 20:42
Teddy Roosevelt is actually the person to coin the phrase "Live Long and Prosper"

HiddenEyes
05-16-2012, 23:25
Ms. Obama is not in fact the First Lady, in truth 'she' is the first First Transvestite.





Mr. HE:cool:

JAS104
05-17-2012, 06:04
The Union defeated the Confederates at Picketts Charge, battle of Gettysburg with a single AR15

Peace Warrior
05-17-2012, 06:20
"You can trust most stuff you see on the Internet."
-Abraham Lincoln
:rofl:
There were no such animals as lobsters until 2-3 years after the bikini atoll atomic tests. No mentions in history, recipes, NOTHING. The US government refuses to admit they are giant underwater radioactive cockroaches, and has created a lucrative market fr this now "delicacy".
:rofl:
The Transcontinental railroad was funded by the folks in the middle portion of the Country who were having a hard time getting a reliable supply of smoked oysters.
:rofl:
The story of the demiseof the dinosaurs is a lie. The only testament to the massive die off of the Dinosaur, is the remaining Yorkies.

In prehistoric days, there were herds of Yorkshire terriers wandering the lands in massive numbers. The sheer quantity of Yorkies required a significant food source, and the only animals available in the necessary numbers to sustain them, were the Dinosaurs.

The Yorkies would wander the land in herds so large they seemed to go from horizon to horizon. It is said that the yapping could be heard for many miles foretelling their approach. They would relentlessly hunt down the defenseless Dinosaurs, and devour them in short order, by swarming them analogous to the frenzied Piranha.

Eventually all the Dinosaurs were gone. The Yorkie herds eventually ran out of food and they also died off leaving only the few direct descendants remaining today.

This is why there are no more Dinosaurs, only Yorkies. We are witness today to the survival of the fittest, the Yorkie.
:rofl:
The Enola Gay took off from a treadmill.
:rofl:
Marco Polo took spaghetti to China, and they called it Lo Mein.
:rofl:

Peace Warrior
05-17-2012, 06:34
A 13 year old student, who had been attending oprah's school for girls located in Africa, was unceremoniously expelled this week for creating a scene while adamantly insisting that her history report was factual and that Catherine the Great actually did start the first petting zoo.

Peace Warrior
05-17-2012, 06:38
The extremely expensive and highly lauded Glock Rifle has limited sales, but not because of its price, in fact, the limited sales are due to its caliber actually being 11mm. When approached for comment, Gaston Glock advised, "I know it's very powerful, that's why I had to make it into a rifle."

Both the rounds and rifle itself are always cheaper when purchased in Massachusetts.

Peace Warrior
05-17-2012, 06:39
The warranty of the Glock Rifle is voided if the owner is found to have cleaned it with anything but dihydrogen monoxide.

JAS104
05-17-2012, 06:40
A 13 year old student, who had been attending oprah's school for girls located in Africa, was unceremoniously expelled this week for insisting that her history report was factual and that Catherine the Great actually did start the first petting zoo.

Lol HOW do you come UP with that stuff? :rofl:

JAS104
05-17-2012, 06:46
In 2010, Mayor Mike Bloomberg and Commissioner Ray Kelly passed a bill supporting citizens of New York City to conceal carry a firearm for their self defense. Since then, crime rates have plummeted to historic lows.

Peace Warrior
05-17-2012, 06:48
Lol HOW do you come UP with that stuff? :rofl:
Please see post #174. :wavey:

JAS104
05-17-2012, 06:57
Please see post #174. :wavey:

Ahhhh lol.
I was thinkin to myself, this guys gotta be on somethign to have that sort of creativity lol

JAS104
05-17-2012, 16:58
Barak Obama, supreme leader of the USA, is a Christian.

tous
05-17-2012, 17:07
In 1814 we took a little trip,
along with Colonel Jackson down the mighty Mississip.

The singer Johnny Horton witnessed the Battle of New Orleans and was decorated for heroism. His poem, scribbled on the back of a McDonalds bag in the heat of battle, was slated to become the nation's anthem, but Harry Reid has yet to allow the bill to come to the Seate floor for a vote.

Asked for comment, the aged senator would only say, "Bacon is bad for you and beans are making our children obese. The poem also features explicit animal cruelty when describing unnatural acts with an alligator. This bill will come to the floor right after we vote on a budget."

mr00jimbo
05-17-2012, 17:57
Tupac Shakur was murdered in Las Vegas.

He dropped out of the false bottom of Suge Knight's BMW 750iL, and after plastic surgery and tattoo removal, lives a happy suburban life in metro Atlanta.

countrygun
05-17-2012, 18:42
The buffalo were pushed to the brink of extinction because of fears that the would do the to Rocky Mountains what they had done to Kansas where they destroyed the skiing industry.

RWBlue
05-17-2012, 18:53
The buffalo were pushed to the brink of extinction because people were killing them for their wings. At this point you will not find any wild buffalo's with wings. This ends the genetic for buffalo wings in the wild. Lucky for those that like the wings, there is ample buffaloes being raise in captivity to provide plenty of wings.

Don't get me going about bear claws.

countrygun
05-17-2012, 19:03
The buffalo were pushed to the brink of extinction because people were killing them for their wings. At this point you will not find any wild buffalo's with wings. This ends the genetic for buffalo wings in the wild. Lucky for those that like the wings, there is ample buffaloes being raise in captivity to provide plenty of wings.

Don't get me going about bear claws.


Total canard, myth, falsehood. when ranchers began raising them for their wings evironmentalists got upset and worried that if the buffalo spread to the Rocky Mountains it would endanger the Rocky Mountain Oyster population.

tous
05-17-2012, 19:14
The buffalo were pushed to the brink of extinction because people were killing them for their wings. At this point you will not find any wild buffalo's with wings. This ends the genetic for buffalo wings in the wild. Lucky for those that like the wings, there is ample buffaloes being raise in captivity to provide plenty of wings.

Don't get me going about bear claws.

There's some historic significance to bear claws? :headscratch: Maybe an eons-long controversy regarding if they are best consumed with milk or coffee?

:supergrin:

RWBlue
05-17-2012, 19:58
There's some historic significance to bear claws? :headscratch: Maybe an eons-long controversy regarding if they are best consumed with milk or coffee?

:supergrin:

You are correct. There was the milk vs. coffee controversy. The coffee cartel very vicious. They went around killing cows and cutting off their lips as a message to the milk cartel to stop talking about how good milk was. Since the mutilations have stopped, a believe a negotiated peace was arrange by the conciliary.

But that is not the big news.

Ever wonder why the population of bears has gone down as the waist line of Americans has grown? The right to bear arm had nothing to do with gun when it was written. But as the bear populations has gone down bear arms are only available to the very very rich. Us common people only see the claws.

It appears that there has been a doughnut cartel which has conspired to get all the wild bear claws to market.

But don't tell anyone I told you. I am sure the police are in on this. They are always hanging out at the doughnut shops.

Do we need to discuss the elephant ears?

I am not sure what species the pastry cartels are going after next. To be honest the pastry cartels scare me. If they cut off their product there will be riots in the street.

tous
05-17-2012, 20:11
Well played, sir. :thumbsup:
You are, of course, aware of the pivotal role that crullers played in the Trojan War.
:supergrin:

samurairabbi
05-17-2012, 20:57
Do we need to discuss the elephant ears?

I am not sure what species the pastry cartels are going after next. To be honest the pastry cartels scare me. If they cut off their product there will be riots in the street.

The Funnel Cake Cartel seems poised to make its move into the big time. The elephant ears people wouldn't have a chance against such aggression.

pugman
05-18-2012, 05:43
The only reason the North won the civil war was because they had GPS

Peace Warrior
05-18-2012, 05:48
The only reason the North won the civil war was because they had GPS
They even had that GPS on their snorkeling, diesel/electric subs too, which the Union's submarines kept the Chinese' Navy from helping the Confederates take over Saudi Arabia when they needed more oil.

Peace Warrior
05-18-2012, 05:56
The singer Johnny Horton, the one who witnessed the Battle of New Orleans and had been decorated for heroism afterward, also co-wrote the poem titled, "These Eggs Ain't Poultry, Who the Hell Ate My Last Piece of Chicken?," with General Andrew Jackson after week long binge of celebrating the victory of the Battle at New Orleans.

ChuteTheMall
05-18-2012, 06:00
Total canard, myth, falsehood. when ranchers began raising them for their wings evironmentalists got upset and worried that if the buffalo spread to the Rocky Mountains it would endanger the Rocky Mountain Oyster population.

The growing urbanization of America in the closing decades of the nineteenth century led to many fashion changes, as men eschewed wide brimmed hats and women were freed from their Mother Hubbard bonnets.
Parasols were replaced by handbags, sunroofs and convertibles replaced Conestogas.
No longer protected from the falling ordure of flying buffalos' fecal bombs, it became necessary to consume buffalo wings to keep them grounded. It's still important to watch your step, but today it's almost safe enough to look up at the sky.:cool:

ChuteTheMall
05-18-2012, 06:08
Col. Sanders led the Chickenhawk Battalion at the Battle of Chickamauga and captured vital documents, including the ancient scroll listing eleven secret herbs and spices.

Peace Warrior
05-18-2012, 06:47
During the Battle of Chickamauga, Col. Sanders ordered the execution of Foghorn Leghorn after he was tried and found guilty of corporate spying and espionage. At the time of his arrest, he was found with documents linking him back to Popeye's Fired Chicken.

Peace Warrior
05-18-2012, 06:57
A day before offering IPO's to the public, Mark Zuckerberg, who is Facebook's founder and CEO, penned a letter to potential investors stating in part, "...[Facebook] is based on a solid foundation of angry birds and imaginary sheep."

RWBlue
05-18-2012, 08:14
Well played, sir. :thumbsup:
You are, of course, aware of the pivotal role that crullers played in the Trojan War.
:supergrin:

I guess I must ask......tell me about crullers.

Dennis in MA
05-18-2012, 08:22
Pontus Pilate was an avid yoga instructor and his name is still related to the stretching system.

ChuteTheMall
05-18-2012, 08:31
http://i48.tinypic.com/20sd8jm.jpg

SergeantC
05-18-2012, 10:10
http://i48.tinypic.com/20sd8jm.jpg

:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Love it.

tsmo1066
05-18-2012, 10:30
Few people today remember that the modern tradition of "Trick or Treat" at Halloween dates back to the ancient Celtic tradition of "Arkan Farl", a brutal custom under which children would be forced to wander by each house in a given village and either be gifted with warm pastries, or randomly attacked by a savage, knife-weilding Druidic priest against whom they would have to fight to the death before moving on to the next hut.

After running the gauntlet of each hut in the village, the few surviving children left would be permitted to eat the pastries they collected while the fallen children would simply be left as decorations in front of the huts where they were killed.

Nobody knows why the Celts engaged in this ritual, other than to speculate that the threat of an "Arkan Farl" festival was used by Celtic parents to ensure absolute obedience and good manners from their kids.

G29Reload
05-18-2012, 10:43
The only reason the North won the civil war was because they had GPS


Couldnt stop laughing...:rofl:

Mr T
05-18-2012, 12:20
During Apollo 13's mission to the moon, Astronauts smuggled Taco Bell onto the space capsule. The farts let out by the crew after consuming their meals resulted in an overpressurization of the capsule......

If your going to be technical at least write technically. It should be "intergluteal explosions"

countrygun
05-18-2012, 12:41
Well played, sir. :thumbsup:
You are, of course, aware of the pivotal role that crullers played in the Trojan War.
:supergrin:


The Trojan war was, of course, named by the winners and allowed then to gain the lions share of shelf space for their product in pharmacies across the world.

bowtie454
05-18-2012, 17:27
The "Supergun" Iraq was building to shell Tel Aviv was actually chambered in 10mm.

wrenrj1
05-18-2012, 18:50
GM makes the BEST CAR EVER! The VOLT changes the way Americans think about energy conservation leads to Obama's reelection. They cannot produce enough for American consumption so China opens factories to help ease American production.

samurairabbi
05-18-2012, 21:11
The "Supergun" Iraq was building to shell Tel Aviv was actually chambered in 10mm.

... and the batch of NORMA 10mm ammo used for the first round of the Supergun acceptance testing was, most unfortunately, produced on a Friday. The pressure variance problems. for which NORMA 10mm loads were famous, were therefore accentuated by all the distraction of workers mentally preparing for weekend partying. One round created an overpressure condition that ruptured the first two sections of the Supergun barrel. The program never truly recovered from this mishap.

tous
05-18-2012, 21:46
The fact that there were samurai rabbits has been proven a hoax.

Not only have there never been nor are there now rabbits, hares or bunnies in Japan with the possible exception of Bugs Bunny, but the strict social order of the culture made it improbable that a cute, fuzzy bunny could rise from woodland creature class into the warrior caste.

There were and are today ninja warrior turtles.
That's an indisputable fact.
I seen it on the TV.

:supergrin:

UtahIrishman
05-18-2012, 22:32
My tuxedo cat Gunny just wandered in, gave me a nudge and a wink to remind me to post about his origins.

Most, if not all, people know that cats were worshiped in Ancient Egypt. Archeologists have even found complete tombs with mummified cats in their own little coffins.

What is less well known is the early diplomatic links that Egyptian cats had with their various cousins around the world. Particularly in times of war the Egyptian cats kept in close touch with their counter-parts on the opposing side.

There was such a need for diplomacy, the Order Of The Tuxedo Cat was formed and small tuxes were knitted by the Pharaohs wives. Cats in these early tuxes could easily get through enemy lines posing as waiters and relay messages back and forth.

This is one of the reasons for the long reign of the Egyptian Empire and the Pharaohs. And as time went on the Pharaohs wives carried on the tradition of knitting these small tuxes for the Tuxedo Cat Corp.

The Egyptian Empire would probably still reign today except for an unfortunate accident. Rames III second wife simply could not keep knit-one pearl-two straight and thus the Empire started to disintegrate from lack of diplomatic connections and small tuxes.

The Tuxedo Cat Corp got exceedingly grumpy about the whole mess and took it upon themselves to create their own tuxes using their own hair...and thus the Tuxedo Cat was born.

Today you can still see remnants of the Tuxedo Cat Corp in the regal bearing of all Tuxedo Cats. However they refuse to admit they crossed enemy lines as waiters. Instead they insist they used false passports and posed as Ninja-cats.

This can't be true of course since everyone knows Ninja-cats evolved after Tuxedo cats.

SergeantC
05-19-2012, 00:15
People don't know that settlers seeking land and the United States Army didn't conquer the western frontier -- Chuck Norris did, after going through a time loop to Dodge City, Kansas, in 1867.

countrygun
05-19-2012, 00:24
Adolph Hitler suffered from "Pseudoflatulaphobia" an inordinate fear of Whoopie Cushions.

4TS&W
05-19-2012, 01:11
The prototype unimog was first used in the Oklahoma land run of 1889. It was used by my Great great grandfather to secure the property that is now downtown Oklahoma City. Also, he cheated, jumped the gun as a "Sooner". You just can't stop a unimog on horseback.

countrygun
05-19-2012, 01:15
The prototype unimog was first used in the Oklahoma land run of 1889. It was used by my Great great grandfather to secure the property that is now downtown Oklahoma City. Also, he cheated, jumped the gun as a "Sooner". You just can't stop a unimog on horseback.


He was punished for cheating by being turned in to an "Okie"

4TS&W
05-19-2012, 02:48
He was punished for cheating by being turned in to an "Okie"

Yes. By the Great Depression, dust bowl, and fled to CA, serving time in a granola hell. :cool:

samurairabbi
05-19-2012, 06:14
The fact that there were samurai rabbits has been proven a hoax.

Not only have there never been nor are there now rabbits, hares or bunnies in Japan with the possible exception of Bugs Bunny, but the strict social order of the culture made it improbable that a cute, fuzzy bunny could rise from woodland creature class into the warrior caste.

:supergrin:

It is possible that circumstances have produced the makings of this thread's first overt flame war. (Or, phrasing it in the vernacular of the common-rabble proletariat: Bring it on, Cuz!)

Your assertion that Samurai Rabbits are a hoax is the kind of irrational advocacy more worthy of the mainstream media than it is in this distinguished forum. After all, without even putting down my beer, I can bring up the documented coverage of the unfortunate encounter of the Monty Python Knights of the Round Table with what THEY first thought was just some unthreatening cute bunny! If the Knights' logistics crew had fouled up by believing the doctrine you advocate, and thereby leaving the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in the Ale Vault back at the castle, then that search effort for the Holy Grail would have been stuck up the Yangtze without a sampan!

Only someone with a French-sounding handle and an avatar of a moo-cow that can't see straight because a scrawny tophat has slipped down to block its vision could crank out such philosophical drivel.

I await your pitiful attempt to respond to my criticism.

:supergrin:

M&P Shooter
05-19-2012, 06:39
Twilight was based on a true story

Ragnar
05-19-2012, 06:40
Obama is the best president ever.

tous
05-19-2012, 08:19
Only someone with a French-sounding handle and an avatar of a moo-cow that can't see straight because a scrawny tophat has slipped down to block its vision could crank out such philosophical drivel.

I await your pitiful attempt to respond to my criticism.

:supergrin:

My chapeau is not scrawny and my argument, contrary to being drivel, is simply brilliant! :tongueout:

Regard, if you will, the ground-breaking work of Professor Winton Slumbunder of the famed Whatsamatta University. Dr. Slumbunder has proven time and again that there are no cute fuzzy bunnies in Japan and there were no large floating bunnies in the incident you referred to.

Anyone with the power to observe and logically synthesize knows full well that the dubious repots to the contrary were supplied by simple people fooled by wombats disguised as bunnies.

These incidents, know as The Great Bruno Wombat Deception after its creator, has the goal of making the uninformed believe in rabbits where, of course, none exist.

:supergrin:

Paul53
05-19-2012, 09:03
In 2087 I built the first time machine. I came back to 2012 to see the country rejoice in Barak Obama's re-election.

In 2087 Glock fixes the "beaned by brass" problem in Gen 4 through 8 Glocks. Sony announces a new Bravia phone, gas is 20 cents per gallon but nobody can afford cars anyway due to all the safety regulations. George Bush is recognised as a genius.

Unfortunatley I'm stuck here now since the time machine wont be invented for another 75 years. Really sucks, I shoulda thought this out better.:steamed:

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 09:16
The "Supergun" Iraq was building to shell Tel Aviv was actually chambered in 10mm.
:rofl:

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 09:22
It is possible that circumstances have produced the makings of this thread's first overt flame war. (Or, phrasing it in the vernacular of the common-rabble proletariat: Bring it on, Cuz!)

Your assertion that Samurai Rabbits are a hoax is the kind of irrational advocacy more worthy of the mainstream media than it is in this distinguished forum. After all, without even putting down my beer, I can bring up the documented coverage of the unfortunate encounter of the Monty Python Knights of the Round Table with what THEY first thought was just some unthreatening cute bunny! If the Knights' logistics crew had fouled up by believing the doctrine you advocate, and thereby leaving the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch in the Ale Vault back at the castle, then that search effort for the Holy Grail would have been stuck up the Yangtze without a sampan!

Only someone with a French-sounding handle and an avatar of a moo-cow that can't see straight because a scrawny tophat has slipped down to block its vision could crank out such philosophical drivel.

I await your pitiful attempt to respond to my criticism.

:supergrin:
:rofl: :rofl: touch'e (or is that too french?) :rofl: :rofl:

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 09:39
The internet user, known as jambog, was actually only two hours late with being awarded the patent on a new computer word processing program that allow users to select and highlight a single letter, or up to a full page of text, and after a couple of mouse clicks, digitally copy the highlighted text, and then reapply this text (or 'paste' as it is known today), to another open word processor.

One month after formally applying at the patent office, he was advised by certified letter that he was turned down for the patent and then found out that he was only two hours late behind the new patent's actual recipient, his closest friends say that something about him "changed." Ever since he was turned down, he has roamed the internet repeatedly copying and pasting existing threads back into their original internet forums.

This has led to a change in the internet nomenclature when applied to an occurrence of someone accidentally posting an already existing topic as a new thread, today such an occurrence is known as a jambog.

tous
05-19-2012, 09:42
Nothing can be too French.
Who do you think came up with the idea of cleverly disguised wombats as cute, fuzzy bunnies? The French word for rabbit, lapin, actually translates to 'false bunny.'


:supergrin:

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 09:49
Due to the top secret nature of their own space program, France has never cared that they did not receive accolades for being the first nation, and not the third, to successfully send a satellite into orbit.


(Serious Tous, France was the third nation to do it. Not bad considering it was Russia and US holding down # 1 and #2 respectively. Vive la France!)

RWBlue
05-19-2012, 11:56
Most people don't know that the first nuclear war in outer space has already happened. The USA with help from France holding there own against the USSR when an alien ship arrive and explained to everyone involved that the war needs to end now or the aliens would eliminate everyone. We could kill each other as much as we wanted to on earth, but were not allowed to kill anyone in space as it was there territory. This is why the USA has not sent any weapons into space in a long time.

countrygun
05-19-2012, 12:18
Richard Nixon decided to open a "detante" with the Chinese and begin diplomatic relations when Henry Kissinger told him "Look, there are millions of Chinese and they can't all be Wong"

countrygun
05-19-2012, 12:20
Moshe Dyan was the inspiration for John Wayne's character in on of his most famous movies. The original title of the movie was to be "Gefilte Cogburn"

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 12:32
GT member, Paul53, a time traveler originally from the year 2087, but now stuck in 2012 (I know, sucks for him :supergrin:), already knew about the nuclear war in outer space and the arriving aliens who had technologies superior to any on the Earth.

Through his covert Washington DC contact, he was able to get the Pentagon to formally accept his plan about allowing the French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space to frontally attack the aliens from France's top secret Mars bases while simultaneously conducting a flanking maneuver on the aliens from French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space reserve troops that were strategically located on Pluto in case of such an attack, which he said based upon the future's history, France would overcome the aliens by way of a special weapon only developed in 2038.

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 12:41
Known only as RonS, a hermit type individual and mass inventor whose only contact with the outside world was an internet connection, in 2038, RonS developed space helmet based on the design of a WWII coal scuttle breathing mask.

This new mask allowed for practically unlimited dexterity and vision during space treks and was also used widely by the secretive French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space. The leaders of the French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space said it was the one thing that helped them win the war of 2014 with the aliens.

countrygun
05-19-2012, 12:47
Known only as RonS, a hermit type individual and mass inventor whose only contact with the outside world was an internet connection, in 2038, RonS developed space helmet based on the design of a WWII coal scuttle breathing mask.

This new mask allowed for practically unlimited dexterity and vision during space treks and was also used widely by the secretive French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space. The leaders of the French Foreign Legion of Intergalactic Space said it was the one thing that helped them win the war of 2014 with the aliens.

This device took advantage of the ability of the French to survive on recycled anal vapors

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 12:56
After banning all persons from bringing guns into their restaurant establishments, except for those persons carrying 1911's, a spokesman was reached for comment and made this statement, "Hey, we felt that we needed to keep our most reliable customers happy. That's how Taco Bell rolls."

tous
05-19-2012, 15:32
Taco Bell has always bene a front for regional CONTROL offices in their never-ending battle with KAOS. We know this to be true because, on occasion, one can spot a Sunbeam Tiger attempting to navigate the drive through and missing it by that much.

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 15:45
Between the years of April of 2007 and January of 2012, the website, known as GlockTalk.com, was flooded with new membership sign ups. It seems that these new members were signing up in order to start threads that typically had a thread starter posting pertinent facts concerning medical symptoms related to either chronic health problems, and or a recent traumatic injury, and then asking other GT members to post medical advice that would help solve the health issue or injury. During the time span mentioned earlier, incredibly, people began experiencing total, full, and unbelievable recoveries when following the advice of complete strangers that had absolutely no medical training whatsoever.

samurairabbi
05-19-2012, 15:55
Regard, if you will, the ground-breaking work of Professor Winton Slumbunder of the famed Whatsamatta University. Dr. Slumbunder has proven time and again that there are no cute fuzzy bunnies in Japan and there were no large floating bunnies in the incident you referred to.

:supergrin:

Permit me the temerity to heavily discount Slumbunder's later work, for which you seem overly impressed.

Slumbunder's early work was world-class, but then he began to slip to the point at which he would publish ANYTHING in exchange for a flask of moonshine and a good tee time at his favorite golf course. A tragic fall, of course, but still applicable to our current "disagreement."

And as for Whatsamatta U. ,,, well, most of that university's endowment was funded by organizations that would break my legs if I revealed their contributions.

:supergrin:

Peace Warrior
05-19-2012, 15:55
delete

tous
05-20-2012, 08:07
Thank you for some great giggles, amigos.

:thumbsup:

UtahIrishman
05-20-2012, 15:09
During the Renaissance Leonardo daVinci invented many items. Among these were the helicopter, roast beef and GlockTalk.

The helicopter and roast beef are well documented but GlockTalk was lost for centuries until it was rediscovered at a drag strip in New Orleans by a Big Giant Head.

On a side note Grandma Moses is a direct descendant of daVinci.