Official "Facts About Paul Ryan" thread [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:16
I'll start:

FDR said "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself."

Paul Ryan calls his skinning knife "fear itself."

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:21
When I hunt I use a 30-06 Remington Model 700.

When Paul Ryan hunts, he uses a towel soaked in chloroform.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:23
On his last hunting trip, Paul Ryan captured ten deer. He then forced the biggest deer to murder the other nine.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:25
Dick Cheney's shooting instructor: Paul Ryan.

JFrame
08-13-2012, 07:25
Paul Ryan is the guy who hacked into Obama's teleprompter and got him to say, "You didn't build that!"


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JFrame
08-13-2012, 07:34
Paul Ryan can calculate the value of pi to the last decimal.


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Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:36
Paul Ryan's rhetorical tools include logic, facts, and a sock full of quarters.

JFrame
08-13-2012, 07:38
Paul Ryan is the safety who gave halfback Joe Biden of the Blue Hens such a jarring hit, it explains Biden's mental state to this day...


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Ruble Noon
08-13-2012, 07:38
Paul Ryan is for indefinite detainment of Americans.

Ruble Noon
08-13-2012, 07:39
Paul Ryan is for a VAT tax.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:40
Paul Ryan's standard answer to his detractors: ricin.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:40
Paul Ryan was the executive producer for this show:

30 Rock - ***** Hunter - YouTube

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:41
Paul Ryan's hobbies: hunting, P90X, and quoting the Dennis Hopper speech from Apocalypse Now.

Ruble Noon
08-13-2012, 07:43
Paul Ryan BEGS Congress to Pass TARP



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyJBZYz858M&feature=youtu.be

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:44
When honey badgers dream, they dream they could be like Paul Ryan.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:45
If you look in a mirror and chant "Paul Ryan" three times, he'll appear and balance your checkbook.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:48
Paul Ryan is the safety who gave halfback Joe Biden of the Blue Hens such a jarring hit, it explains Biden's mental state to this day...


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:supergrin:

Doesn't Joe Biden remind you of those geezers you see on Antiques Roadshow, asking if the sneaker they found in the woods is from the Civil War era?

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:53
Paul Ryan's debate prep: Slapping Joe Biden like he's the little old man from Benny Hill.

JFrame
08-13-2012, 07:53
:supergrin:

Doesn't Joe Biden remind you of those geezers you see on Antiques Roadshow, asking if the sneaker they found in the woods is from the Civil War era?


:rofl::rofl:

Good one! :supergrin: He's also the ne'er-do-well uncle with alcohol on his breath who manages to embarrass or offend everyone at every wedding and other social gathering...


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series1811
08-13-2012, 07:58
Paul Ryan started bowhunting because shooting big game with a gun was not challenging enough.

He then switched to a slingshot because bowhunting wasn't challenging enough.

Obama and the Democrats immediately introduced bills to ban slingshots, "for the children" and "for the deer".

Bluestreakfl
08-13-2012, 07:58
Paul Ryan and Chuck Norris were separated at birth.


Sent from my phone booth

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 07:58
Joe Biden is like a Frankenstein some scientist sewed together from the bodies of other old and stupid people.

kirgi08
08-13-2012, 08:04
:headscratch:

Youse have gone off grid on me.'08. :dunno:

snerd
08-13-2012, 09:53
Paul Ryan once shot an elephant in his pajamas. How it got in his pajamas he'll never know!!

Ba-Da-Bing!!!

snerd
08-13-2012, 09:54
PAul Ryan channeling Henny Youngman............... Take Obama, PLEASE!

JFrame
08-13-2012, 10:51
Paul Ryan actually DID invent the Internet, but let Al Gore claim that he did, so Al would come across as a blustering windbag.


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countrygun
08-13-2012, 11:22
24 hours after he was born Paul Ryan balanced his parent's checkbook.


and found enough extra cash to fund his hunting trip the next month.

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 11:40
Little-noticed statutory enabling clause in Paul Ryan's budget: "Gas, grass, or ass...no one rides for free."

countrygun
08-13-2012, 11:53
The Forest Service advises people carry a picture of Paul Ryan instead of Bear Spray.

JFrame
08-13-2012, 12:40
F.A. Hayek once remarked that he learned so much about economics from Paul Ryan.


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countrygun
08-13-2012, 15:12
http://i1231.photobucket.com/albums/ee518/CountryG/door.png

barbedwiresmile
08-13-2012, 16:19
This thread reflects some deep disconnect from reality. And is somewhat bizarre.

So because I know folks like J and Goalie are intelligent people, and aware of facts, though we naturally do not always agree, I am curious as to their motivations.

So we know Ryan voted for TARP, for NDAA, for trillion-dollar wars; we know his budget charts out very similar to Obama's in dollars and cents (I provided the graphs on a previous thread); we know that the party has not cut a single spending item or program (in real dollar terms, not compared to future forecasted budgets); etc etc.

So what is the purpose of a thread like this? Is the thought truly that big-government insiders with an "R" next to their name are ok, since they are wearing our color jersey? Is the thought that it's going to be 'different this time'?

And if so, how are you able to sustain the voluntary suspension of disbelief?

JFrame
08-13-2012, 16:26
C'mon, BWS -- I'm just havin' a little fun. I see this thread as a variation of Jack Bauer-isms, which was a variation of Chuck Norris-isms, in a fine American tradition which dates back to Pecos Bill and Davy Crockett.

On that note -- Les Stroud once spent a week backpacking with Paul Ryan, and could be heard uttering repeatedly to Ryan, "I didn't know that...I didn't know that..." :supergrin:


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countrygun
08-13-2012, 16:30
C'mon BWS squeeze out one more cornbacked brownsnake to drop in the puch bowl, C'mon, you can do it.:upeyes:

Goaltender66
08-13-2012, 19:21
This thread reflects some deep disconnect from reality. And is somewhat bizarre.

So because I know folks like J and Goalie are intelligent people, and aware of facts, though we naturally do not always agree, I am curious as to their motivations.

So we know Ryan voted for TARP, for NDAA, for trillion-dollar wars; we know his budget charts out very similar to Obama's in dollars and cents (I provided the graphs on a previous thread); we know that the party has not cut a single spending item or program (in real dollar terms, not compared to future forecasted budgets); etc etc.

So what is the purpose of a thread like this? Is the thought truly that big-government insiders with an "R" next to their name are ok, since they are wearing our color jersey? Is the thought that it's going to be 'different this time'?

And if so, how are you able to sustain the voluntary suspension of disbelief?

It's like this:

Over the next three months we are going to hear what a horrible person Paul Ryan is. Heck, last week Obama's PAC put out an ad all but accusing Romney of murder. So on one hand we will get to hear what a heartless jerk Ryan is, and on the other we'll get to hear what a spendthrift drunken sailor he is.

So when I say Paul Ryan operates in only two speeds (fast-forward and MURDER), I'm just getting ahead of the rhetoric.

JFrame
08-13-2012, 19:25
Paul Ryan was nowhere to be seen for 18 hours the day OBL was killed...Coincidence?


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G17Jake
08-13-2012, 19:48
Paul Ryan's rhetorical tools include logic, facts, and a sock full of quarters.



:rofl:

ChuteTheMall
08-13-2012, 22:47
http://i49.tinypic.com/9giplv.jpg

ChuteTheMall
08-13-2012, 22:53
http://i46.tinypic.com/28m31g9.jpg

Ruble Noon
08-14-2012, 04:46
Ryan's inside trading info is so good that he managed to dump his bank stock moments before the 2008 collapse.

Big Mad Dawg
08-14-2012, 05:14
Paul Ryan is why the obama is scared of the dark.

kirgi08
08-14-2012, 07:07
:animlol:

FFR Spyder GT
08-14-2012, 09:25
If you look in a mirror and chant "Paul Ryan" three times, he'll appear and balance your checkbook.

Just like he did for the USA.

I think I'll pass.

JFrame
08-14-2012, 09:27
Paul Ryan used a crossbow to shoot Joe Biden's head off of an apple.


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Lethaltxn
08-14-2012, 09:27
Just like he did for the USA.

I think I'll pass.

I don't think anyone expected you to join anyway.

Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 09:33
Paul Ryan ends every meeting by murdering a random intern.

Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 09:35
What other people call "Multivariable Calculus" Paul Ryan calls "Simple Arithmetic."

Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 09:36
Paul Ryan brushes his teeth three times a day....with sandpaper.

Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 09:41
Paul Ryan invented the Current Ratio.

Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 09:44
Some people say Paul Ryan's methods are cruel. Those people are his victims.

Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 09:45
Paul Ryan considers BUDS Hell Week to be "a pleasant diversion."

jbailey8
08-14-2012, 09:47
Paul Ryan is for indefinite detainment of Americans.

So is Obama. Lol


Outdoor Hub mobile, the outdoor information engine

JFrame
08-14-2012, 10:43
Paul Ryan clubs polar bears to death with seal pups.


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Lethaltxn
08-14-2012, 10:45
Just like he did for the USA.

I think I'll pass.

Also, can you expand on that thoughtfully crafted argument?

porschedog
08-14-2012, 10:57
Paul Ryan drinks water and pees 93 octane gas.

Bren
08-14-2012, 11:01
Ryan's inside trading info is so good that he managed to dump his bank stock moments before the 2008 collapse.

Unlike Ruble Noon, Paul Ryan would tell you if he was voting for Obama, insead of coming over from democratic underground to try to convince people not to vote Republican by pretending the Republicans are "too liberal" for him.:upeyes:

JFrame
08-14-2012, 11:03
Paul Ryan taught Batman how to do the Bat-tusi.


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Goaltender66
08-14-2012, 12:10
Anthony Weiner was incapable of feeling shame...until he stood next to Paul Ryan.

countrygun
08-14-2012, 12:11
Paul Ryan protects the Secret Service agents.

Ruble Noon
08-14-2012, 14:30
Unlike Ruble Noon, Paul Ryan would tell you if he was voting for Obama, insead of coming over from democratic underground to try to convince people not to vote Republican by pretending the Republicans are "too liberal" for him.:upeyes:

Hey, you have already said that you would whore yourself out to anyone to get Obama out of office and I have made it obvious that I won't. If you're serious about getting Obama out of office vote for Gary Johnson like I and a bunch of others are going to do.

countrygun
08-14-2012, 14:33
Hey, you have already said that you would whore yourself out to anyone to get Obama out of office and I have made it obvious that I won't. If you're serious about getting Obama out of office vote for Gary Johnson like I and a bunch of others are going to do.


Don't you mean,

"Throw away your votes to help Obama get reelected"?

Give it up dude, everyone sees through the curtain, now run back to DU and tell them "It didn't work"

Ruble Noon
08-14-2012, 14:38
Don't you mean,

"Throw away your votes to help Obama get reelected"?

Give it up dude, everyone sees through the curtain, now run back to DU and tell them "It didn't work"

That is what you are going to do by voting for the liberal loser Romney, just like you probably voted for HW Bush and got Clinton elected.

Lethaltxn
08-14-2012, 14:41
Hey, you have already said that you would whore yourself out to anyone to get Obama out of office and I have made it obvious that I won't. If you're serious about getting Obama out of office vote for Gary Johnson like I and a bunch of others are going to do.

How is that serious if you're voting for someone who can't win?

Ruble Noon
08-14-2012, 14:45
How is that serious if you're voting for someone who can't win?

To win, Romney needs all the votes he can get, including all of the Paul/Johnson/ libertarian vote, which he will not get. Now if all you Romney voters would join us in voting Johnson we might win. :supergrin:

Lethaltxn
08-14-2012, 14:58
To win, Romney needs all the votes he can get, including all of the Paul/Johnson/ libertarian vote, which he will not get. Now if all you Romney voters would join us in voting Johnson we might win. :supergrin:

But that won't happen. Even if you convinced everyone on this forum, there are millions more who won't. The primaries proved that.

We are all allowed to vote our conscious, but I seriously question the motives of those who would insist that 4 more years of a stagnant economy, high fuel prices and a lowered status amongst the world would help. Arguing you're going to "teach" everyone a lesson for not voting for your candidate seems childish.

And no, Romney is not my first choice, but he's on the ticket and has a chance at removing someone whom I feel is a bigger threat. I'm not going to squander that opportunity by voting for someone who I know will not win.

JMO, YMMV.

Cavalry Doc
08-14-2012, 15:01
To win, Romney needs all the votes he can get, including all of the Paul/Johnson/ libertarian vote, which he will not get. Now if all you Romney voters would join us in voting Johnson we might win. :supergrin:

So, Romney needs about 4 million to change their minds to win, and Johnson needs about 98 million to change their minds in order to win.

Reality sucks, often, but Johnson doesn't stand a chance without a COSMIC shift in the political landscape, which is highly unlikely.

jakebrake
08-14-2012, 15:02
Paul Ryan is for a VAT tax.

how's that delegate count going?

Ruble Noon
08-14-2012, 15:25
So, Romney needs about 4 million to change their minds to win, and Johnson needs about 98 million to change their minds in order to win.

Reality sucks, often, but Johnson doesn't stand a chance without a COSMIC shift in the political landscape, which is highly unlikely.

I don't think Romney does either.

Ruble Noon
08-14-2012, 15:26
how's that delegate count going?

What is the connection between delegates and Ryan's Vat tax? :dunno:

JFrame
08-14-2012, 15:38
When Paul Ryan goes target-shooting, he aims for the X-Y-Z ring...It exists in a fifth dimension visible only to Paul Ryan.


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countrygun
08-14-2012, 17:19
Hey folks, didja notice how the Rongoloids are now easing towards the othe Lbertarian candidate in an effort to draw Republican votes. I even heard they are jumping in to threads that have nothing to do with the whole libertarian mess.

They are kinda like the old Hare Krishna's at the airport in that regard.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 18:52
Paul Ryan's bodyfat ratio is lower than Obama's unemployment rate.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 18:53
Chuch Norris wears Paul Ryan pajamas.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 18:53
Paul Ryan sharpens knives with his steely gaze.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 18:58
http://redalertpolitics.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Paul-Ryan-Tumblr.jpg

jakebrake
08-14-2012, 18:59
Paul Ryan's bodyfat ratio is lower than Obama's unemployment rate.

at this point, who's isn't?

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:01
http://i48.tinypic.com/11tu8tg.jpg

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:01
When Atlas Shrugged, Paul Ryan was there to hold the world up.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:03
Paul Ryan saved a cat from being stuck in a tree. By teaching it to climb down itself.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:04
Paul Ryan has a pet honey badger. He don't care.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:07
Paul Ryan works out for an hour every day on what they used to call P90X.
Now they call it VP90X.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:07
Paul Ryan can balance a budget in his head before Joe Biden can turn on his solar powered calculator.

ChuteTheMall
08-14-2012, 19:23
http://i45.tinypic.com/2s9vexz.jpg

JFrame
08-14-2012, 19:47
Obama was heard to remark, "Someone said, 'I don't believe in God, but I fear him.' Well, I believe in God -- but the one thing I fear is Paul Ryan."


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ChuteTheMall
08-21-2012, 07:36
http://i48.tinypic.com/11khv8z.jpg

kirgi08
08-21-2012, 08:15
Get the idea,kinda stretch though my friend.'08. :dunno: