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Clutch Cargo
10-21-2012, 09:43
A Soldier, a Sailor, an Airman and a Marine got into an argument about which branch of the service was "The Best." The arguing became so heated the four servicemen failed to see an oncoming truck as they crossed the street.
They were hit by the truck and killed instantly.

...Soon, the four servicemen found themselves at the Pearly gates of Heaven. There, they met Saint Peter and decided that only he could be the ultimate source of truth and honesty. So, the four servicemen asked him, "Saint Peter, which branch of the United States Armed Forces is the best?"


...Saint Peter replied, "I can't answer that. However, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him. Meanwhile, thank you for your service on Earth and welcome to Heaven."

Sometime later the four servicemen see Saint Peter and remind him of the question they had asked when first entering Heaven and asked Saint Peter if he was able to ask God for the answer to their answer.

Suddenly, a sparkling white dove lands on Saint Peter's shoulder. In the dove's beak is a note glistening with gold dust. Saint Peter opens the note, trumpets blare, gold dust drifts into the air, harps play crescendos and Saint Peter begins to read the note aloud to the four servicemen:

MEMORANDUM FROM THE DESK OF THE ALMIGHTY ONE
TO: All Former Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen, and Marines
SUBJECT: Which Military Service Is the Best

1. All branches of the United States Armed Forces are honorable and noble.

2. Each serves America well and with distinction.

3. Serving in the United States military represents a great honor warranting special respect, tribute, and dedication from your fellow man.

4. Always be proud of that.

Warm regards,
GOD

Rabbi
10-21-2012, 09:49
...Notice the Coast Guardsman was smart enought to avoid not only the argument...but giant loud trucks doing what giant loud trucks do...

SEMPER PARATUS!

Clutch Cargo
10-21-2012, 10:00
...Notice the Coast Guardsman was smart enought to avoid not only the argument...but giant loud trucks doing what giant loud trucks do...

SEMPER PARATUS!

True:supergrin:
I didn't write it, but the writer DID leave out some very important folks. This is especially true in the age of terrorism.

JBnTX
10-21-2012, 10:15
ALL the branches of the military play on the same team.

Some play offense and some play defense,
but it takes the entire team to win.

There is no "best" branch of service.

:patriot:

(But somebody should have seen that damn truck.)

Clutch Cargo
10-21-2012, 11:24
ALL the branches of the military play on the same team.

Some play offense and some play defense,
but it takes the entire team to win.

There is no "best" branch of service.

:patriot:

(But somebody should have seen that damn truck.)

Amen. Greetings to the folks in Mansfield.

GreenDrake
10-21-2012, 13:11
Don't forget who pulls guard duty at the gates. Semper Fi.

el_jewapo
10-21-2012, 13:23
“I learned that Marines never leave their dead and wounded behind, officers always eat last, the U.S. Army is chicken**** in combat, the Navy is worse, and the Air Force is barely even on our side.” -Jim Lehrer

Some dude around here has that as his sig line. I find it pretty offensive and I've never been in the service. Seems a bit beyond bar brawls and ribbing to me.

Anyway, I thought this was as good a place as any to bring that up.

Unk
10-21-2012, 13:28
Uh, saw something similar but instead of

"Warm regards,
GOD"

it was "Semper Fi

GOD"`

Just an old soldier here.

dango
10-21-2012, 13:35
Easy , that would be the (GAY) branch of (Slap me once and I shall slap you Twice) unit , French cook and pink boxers optional.

:supergrin:

mjkeat
10-21-2012, 13:40
Sent from my DROID RAZR using Tapatalk 2

devildog2067
10-21-2012, 15:08
...Notice the Coast Guardsman was smart enought to avoid not only the argument...

I figured there was no puddle pirate in this joke because the Coast Guard doesn't really count as a branch of the military...


:whistling:

Rabbi
10-21-2012, 16:36
I figured there was no puddle pirate in this joke because the Coast Guard doesn't really count as a branch of the military...


:whistling:

That might be true....but at least the Coast Guard doesnt *count* like the Marines do...Taking off their shoes to get to...oh, say, about 19!

HollowHead
10-21-2012, 16:50
4 pm in military time...

Army: 1600
Navy: 6 bells
Air Force: Cocktail hour
Marines: The big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the four.

HH

Clutch Cargo
10-21-2012, 17:24
Easy , that would be the (GAY) branch of (Slap me once and I shall slap you Twice) unit , French cook and pink boxers optional.

:supergrin:

The happy branch?

Javelin
10-21-2012, 17:27
There is Infantry.





Or your job is to support the Infantry.

AK_Stick
10-21-2012, 17:32
...Notice the Coast Guardsman was smart enought to avoid not only the argument...but giant loud trucks doing what giant loud trucks do...

SEMPER PARATUS!




Because they're not in the military.

G29Reload
10-21-2012, 17:33
I figured there was no puddle pirate in this joke because the Coast Guard doesn't really count as a branch of the military...


:whistling:

Didn't seem to matter in wartime.

THere are cruisers with 5" guns.

They have sunk submarines. One boat even rammed one to get the job done.

Approach our Coast in war, and they will fight.

They're also deployed overseas for port security, in the Gulf and Japan.

I wouldnt f#$% with them. They're pretty damn good.

It does remind me of a joke.

Old episode of Cheers, I think.

One of the player's father was coming to visit them at the bar and hadnt seem them in years. An old salt Chief with hash marks running up his arms.

Might have been Cliff, has a seat at the bar next to him. "So you're in the Navy…I had a great time when I was in the Coast Guard".

Old Salt: "You must be pretty proud, Miss."

:rofl:

Batesmotel
10-21-2012, 17:36
like the Marines do...Taking off their shoes to get to...oh, say, about 19!

That assumes the Marine in question has shot off only one of his toes.

BTW Never ask a Marine with a loaded weapon to do subtraction. :whistling:

G29Reload
10-21-2012, 17:38
Never served, but I hear tales.

Submariners have the best galley. They eat better than every other branch of the service and rest of the Navy.

They may be the safest branch, though if something does go wrong at depth, well that's a pretty horrible death.

They refer to all surface ships as "targets". :rofl:

Air Force officers are supposed to have the nicest golf courses.

All fliers seem to have pretty good short of being shot down.

Any service that doesn't have to deal with mud is probably a good bet. Fliers, submariners, navy for the most part.

Marines, have my best wishes and thanks for what they go thru on our behalf. But man, it sounds brutal and i have seen FMJ several times :supergrin: Grunts I've spoken with say its pretty accurate and we all know R Lee was the real deal.

professorpinki
10-21-2012, 18:12
Ears Open Eyeballs Click is better.

Also, SERE is for fliers. Ergo, mud.

Mostly 9
10-21-2012, 18:24
4 pm in military time...

Army: 1600 [wrong! 1600 hours]
Navy: 6 bells [wrong! 8 bells]
Air Force: Cocktail hour [wrong! Lasts more than an hour]
Marines: The big hand is on the twelve and the little hand is on the four. [Wrong! Today's Marines can't cope with an analog timepiece.]

HH

I rispute your assertions thus:

Jeez, just when I was on step 1 of my Grammar Nazi program (acknowledge that there is a bigger dictionary) I have to come across this! My eight years in the Navy taught me many things including how to keep time in bells. 4:00 p.m. is 8 bells. See an explanation here (http://www.navy.mil/navydata/questions/bells.html).

I only claim personal knowledge of Navy timekeeping, but wouldn't the Army time be 1600 hours, not simply 1600? And let's not even get started with midnight!

hoven88
10-21-2012, 18:30
Because they're not in the military.

Tell that to the Marines we saved at Guadalcanal, the Vietnam veterans (Coast Guard) that patroled the rivers in Vietnam, the Veterans from the Gulf war ( Coast Guard), OIF Veterans (Coast Guard), and my buddies in Afghanistan today. Get over yourself ass.

Angry Fist
10-21-2012, 18:33
God bless the truck drivers and cooks, too.

AK_Stick
10-21-2012, 18:37
Tell that to the Marines we saved at Guadalcanal, the Vietnam veterans (Coast Guard) that patroled the rivers in Vietnam, the Veterans from the Gulf war ( Coast Guard), OIF Veterans (Coast Guard), and my buddies in Afghanistan today. Get over yourself ass.

:rofl:


It was a joke. Calm down.

hoven88
10-21-2012, 18:42
:rofl:


It was a joke. Calm down.
Sorry, but I'm sure it doesn't surprise you that I've gotten that same line many times before, and after recently helping lay to rest a 94 year old World War II who served in the Coast Guard, it is kind of a sore subject here. My apologies for calling you an ass.

AK_Stick
10-21-2012, 19:09
Sorry, but I'm sure it doesn't surprise you that I've gotten that same line many times before, and after recently helping lay to rest a 94 year old World War II who served in the Coast Guard, it is kind of a sore subject here. My apologies for calling you an ass.


No worries my friend, it was all just a little inter-service fun. I appreciate what the CG does, and I've worked with them down range, they're good guys, and they have an important mission too.

M2 Carbine
10-21-2012, 19:15
No "best" between the military but there can be and is quite a difference between the services and within the services.

Having joined the USMC in 1955 when I was 17 and having made Sergeant three years later, ....................
then several years later making Army Warrant Officer (pilot) I saw firstand the differences between the services.


Basically there is nothing we can't do and no one's ass we can't kick if we are allowed to do our jobs.
But we have one enemy that time and again has gotten us killed and given the victory to our opponents.
Even now this enemy is getting we military killed while they bow to and apologize to the very same people that are aiding in killing us military.

It's obscene that there is a "Commander in Chief" in the White House that isn't fit to shine a Army Private's boots.