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gjk5
10-21-2012, 19:56
some of you may remember my thread about my disfunctional sister and my nephew.

She fell off the wagon after a month and a half or so of AA today. Just disgusted.

I am sure I will get some "it's a process" or "it's to be expected" crap from the whole alcoholism is a disease crowd.

I don't buy it. She is weak, lame and does not care about her son. He is 13, I am considering just asking him if he'd rather live with us or go to his grandparents. He doesn't deserve this.

What a piece of crap she is.

*ASH*
10-21-2012, 20:10
wont get argument from me i got a dumb ***** sister too .

BUT alcoholism is a disease and does run in genetics .

Bruce M
10-21-2012, 20:16
It would a great thing if you could facilitate a better home environment for her son either with you or someone else in the family.

The faults of a family member will seem much, much less when they are gone.

concretefuzzynuts
10-21-2012, 20:20
It happens. Add Sh.

jeepinbandit
10-21-2012, 20:21
Seen it before. People have to have their own will to quit. My aunt was heavily into drugs and alcohol had cancer multiple times people tried to help her she about drained my grandmother dry as far as money and whatnot.

dbcooper
10-21-2012, 20:25
I had a guy tell me early on in AA that the only thing you can be sure an alcoholic will do is drink. Hope she gets back on track, I'm a few months away from 20 yrs.

NeverMore1701
10-21-2012, 20:27
I try to not drink for a week or so every now and then. Rarely works.

*ASH*
10-21-2012, 20:36
I try to not drink for a week or so every now and then. Rarely works.

horse **** . :rofl::rofl: you are always posting 30 times a week about drunk and drinking lol

dango
10-21-2012, 20:42
Indifference is the key here and not disgust . I'm not goin to preach to you but you have no control over anybody but you , yourself and that's it..!

Give her all the rope she needs to hang herself but pray she doesn't..! You are helpless but (DISGUST) is not the answer..!

She must find her own way , her very bottom and there is nothing you can do but wait and not let her (HANG-HERSELF).!
Do nothing but wait except to stop any self destructive action.

Don't count anybody down and out , you don't have the right.
Just be there , pray , observe and wait..! Nothing no-one can do but her but do be there..!

Do not think anyone is hopeless cause I know better , people CAN change , just be there just in case. Someone has got to be rational so be just that and observe.........! Can you live with anything less than that ?

NeverMore1701
10-21-2012, 20:43
horse **** . :rofl::rofl: you are always posting 30 times a week about drunk and drinking lol

Like I said, rarely works :supergrin:

janice6
10-21-2012, 20:53
You have an alcoholic Sister and I have a Liberal Sister.

I don't know which is worse. Maybe you can treat alcoholics and make them better.

Manofprint
10-21-2012, 20:57
I had a guy tell me early on in AA that the only thing you can be sure an alcoholic will do is drink. Hope she gets back on track, I'm a few months away from 20 yrs.

Nice Congrats

If she is not ready. She is not ready

dango
10-21-2012, 21:07
A little story is needed here so's here it is:

The woman I fell in love with had this same problem , yes , my very own wife. 4 DUI's and all the worry and exspence that goes with it...!
After one of many sleepless nights , I told her , I will not live like this any more..! I left..! She pleaded with me not to leave but I left and said show me , proof , I need proof.

I gave her that last chance .! I've been happily married 27 years now. My wife has not had a drink in 27 years also !

If one has a sound , strong reason to change , anything is possible and damn , I'm worth it , simple.......! She is one lucky woman , for she has ME...! :supergrin:

Scott3670
10-21-2012, 21:09
My doctor advised me to cut back on my drinking. I decided that a fair compromise would be to continue to have my nightly beverage, but just cut back on the strength (from 2 shots to 1). And to be fair, I don't drink more than 5 nights a week.

concretefuzzynuts
10-21-2012, 21:21
My doctor advised me to cut back on my drinking. I decided that a fair compromise would be to continue to have my nightly beverage, but just cut back on the strength (from 2 shots to 1). And to be fair, I don't drink more than 5 nights a week.

There are 5 nights in a week??? I'm drinking way too much.

gjk5
10-21-2012, 21:22
Nice Congrats

If she is not ready. She is not ready

what does that even mean? we're all just supposed to wait around until "she's ready"?

holesinpaper
10-21-2012, 21:26
Well at least she doesn't smoke pot.

Drain You
10-21-2012, 21:29
What I expected:

http://i.imgur.com/FqmzU.jpg


Sorry for your trouble, never been there with a sibling but I have with a parent and a friend or 2.

gjk5
10-21-2012, 21:31
Well at least she doesn't smoke pot.

I'd buy her all the dope she wanted if she quit drinking.

Angry Fist
10-21-2012, 21:33
So much for the Days That End In "Y" arguement.

TK-421
10-21-2012, 21:39
What I expected:

http://i.imgur.com/FqmzU.jpg



I was thinking the same thing. :rofl:

G23Gen4TX
10-21-2012, 21:42
I just don't get it why people can't have just a couple of drinks and instead have to get wasted and ruin their and other people's life.

I just don't get addiction. In my mind it is just weak people looking for an excuse as to why they are weak and don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

I don't agree with the disease argument.

RWBlue
10-21-2012, 21:43
I fell off the wagon once. I landed on my head and it hurt. :tequila: I guess that is what I get for drinking on a hay ride.:rollingeyes:



On a more serious note, I am lucky enough not to have alcohol problem, but if I did......I think recovery would be easier without having a kid around the house. It would be better for the kid and better for me.

gjk5
10-21-2012, 21:44
What I expected:

http://i.imgur.com/FqmzU.jpg


Sorry for your trouble, never been there with a sibling but I have with a parent and a friend or 2.

I just saved this to my "forum pics" file. effin hilarious.

Glocksanity
10-21-2012, 22:28
I'd buy her all the dope she wanted if she quit drinking.

But then she would just be arrested and put in jail. Maybe you too.

But seriously. That is tough.

Best you can do is pray for her and try to help the kid out.

Glocksanity
10-21-2012, 22:31
I just don't get it why people can't have just a couple of drinks and instead have to get wasted and ruin their and other people's life.

I just don't get addiction. In my mind it is just weak people looking for an excuse as to why they are weak and don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

I don't agree with the disease argument.

Some people don't understand why you need more than one gun. Why do you need more than one gun? Geez. Show some discipline.

I haven't had a drink in over 25 years. I have a great life. But, man, when I take that first drink, I am wired to just say #$%^ it, and drink, drink, drink. Tough to understand if you are not an addict.

RWBlue
10-21-2012, 23:06
I'd buy her all the dope she wanted if she quit drinking.

I wonder if you could get a prescription for that.......and get the government to pay for it.

Detectorist
10-21-2012, 23:40
Unless one is depressed, no one wishes to live the life of an alcoholic. There is also a strong mental illness and genetic components there, too.

You would do your Nephew a huge favor if he can stay with you. Your Sister is on the path of self destruction and it's not right that he witness that.

Don't bad mouth your Sister in front of her Son. Just tell him that his Mom is sick and if he would like to stay with you for a spell.

Good luck.

Detectorist
10-21-2012, 23:45
To all those who have quit drinking, I congratulate you. I've seen enough to know it's a terrible addiction.

dango
10-22-2012, 00:56
I just don't get it why people can't have just a couple of drinks and instead have to get wasted and ruin their and other people's life.

I just don't get addiction. In my mind it is just weak people looking for an excuse as to why they are weak and don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

I don't agree with the disease argument.

Well , if everyone had this train of thought , there wouldn't be a problem would there ? Not everybody is wired the same and there is the problem.! You don't have to (GET-IT) , just know that it can strike anybody at any time and if it's someone you care for , it is a real problem that can be fixed most of the time.! Someone has got to have sense and a whole lot of patients.......! There is help for those who seek it on behalf of both sides but , you have to give a crap !

frizz
10-22-2012, 02:26
what does that even mean? we're all just supposed to wait around until "she's ready"?

No. Do not "wait around" at all. Live your life, and don't let her get her hooks into your brain.

If it is dragging you down, don't let it. She needs to take responsibility for her life. You take responsibility for your life, and realize that you cannot change her, but you can stop her from sinking you along with it.

AA is oriented around taking responsibility for yourself.

There is a 12-step group for family, friends and others who are affected by someone else's drinking. It is called Al-Anon, and you should be able to find a meeting.

I encourage you to consider ONE meeting. I will not "tell" you, and I don't condemn anyone who doesn't want to, or doesn't find that it is suitable for them.

Best of luck for a crap situation... especially if you take guardianship for your nephew. Remember, that won't be easy. As it may seem to relate to giving her all the rope she needs to hang herself, this isn't rope. This is rescuing your nephew.

frizz
10-22-2012, 02:33
some of you may remember my thread about my disfunctional sister and my nephew.

She fell off the wagon after a month and a half or so of AA today. Just disgusted.

She should be, too. We can hope that she will not give up, but instead go to another meeting, and trade in her 30-day chip for a "restart" chip.

But don't let her failure bring you down, or make you angry.

Easier said than done, I know. But you didn't cause it, and you can't control it.

frizz
10-22-2012, 02:34
Strong in this thread the 12-Step is.

Dennis in MA
10-22-2012, 07:18
I just don't get it why people can't have just a couple of drinks and instead have to get wasted and ruin their and other people's life.

I just don't get addiction. In my mind it is just weak people looking for an excuse as to why they are weak and don't want to take responsibility for their actions.

I don't agree with the disease argument.

Yeah, keep telling yourself that. :upeyes:

To all those who have quit drinking, I congratulate you. I've seen enough to know it's a terrible addiction.

Ditto. Dango's wife is the exception, not the rule. (Few can kick an addiction with one conversation and ultimatum.)

eruby
10-22-2012, 10:42
I don't drink anymore.

I don't drink any less either. :cool:

OP, good luck to your sister. Try to keep in mind that her alcoholism is your problem only to the extent you let it be your problem.

gjk5
10-22-2012, 12:26
I wonder if you could get a prescription for that.......and get the government to pay for it.

It's CO, she can get a scrip for it, but I don't need the .gov to pay for it, thanks.


Don't bad mouth your Sister in front of her Son. Just tell him that his Mom is sick and if he would like to stay with you for a spell.

Good luck.

I would never say anything bad about her, the kid has it bad enough already.


I don't drink anymore.

I don't drink any less either. :cool:

OP, good luck to your sister. Try to keep in mind that her alcoholism is your problem only to the extent you let it be your problem.

It's the nephew that makes it my problem.


My wife took her to the hospital this AM and had her put in Detox.

She blew a 2.5 BAC @ 10AM.

itstime
10-22-2012, 12:41
A little story is needed here so's here it is:

The woman I fell in love with had this same problem , yes , my very own wife. 4 DUI's and all the worry and exspence that goes with it...!
After one of many sleepless nights , I told her , I will not live like this any more..! I left..! She pleaded with me not to leave but I left and said show me , proof , I need proof.

I gave her that last chance .! I've been happily married 27 years now. My wife has not had a drink in 27 years also !

If one has a sound , strong reason to change , anything is possible and damn , I'm worth it , simple.......! She is one lucky woman , for she has ME...! :supergrin:


Nice story. Congrats. Bless her.

DowntimeLA
10-22-2012, 12:48
It would a great thing if you could facilitate a better home environment for her son either with you or someone else in the family.

The faults of a family member will seem much, much less when they are gone.

good post!


To the op, good luck it's a tough condition and state of mind to understand. There a ton of people using constantly that don't even want to be. And when they do finally quit without a change in mindset/lifestyle, life just gets worse.

GRIMLET
10-22-2012, 12:53
I don't buy it. She is weak, lame and does not care about her son. He is 13, I am considering just asking him if he'd rather live with us or go to his grandparents. He doesn't deserve this.

What a piece of crap she is.


If you took her son to raise out of the goodness of your heart, you would be making a sacrifice for the betterment of another. What better thing could a person do in life?
Thats what changes things and changes lives. Thats being an unsung hero.
I say do it!!!!

eruby
10-22-2012, 12:59
..... It's the nephew that makes it my problem....You are choosing to make it your problem, it is not being thrust upon you. And I applaud you 100% for looking out for your nephews well being.

If he chooses to come with you, I hope your sister doesn't cause you legal misery over it.

janice6
10-22-2012, 13:03
If you took her son to raise out of the goodness of your heart, you would be making a sacrifice for the betterment of another. What better thing could a person do in life?
Thats what changes things and changes lives. Thats being an unsung hero.
I say do it!!!!



I agree. You can't force another adult to do what you want them to. They have to want it too.

You do, however, have it within your power to give the kid a good home, proper nourishment, an education and a lesson in family values and love.

You cannot save the sister if she doesn't want you to, but you can still save the boy. It's a good investment.

fwm
10-22-2012, 13:07
what does that even mean? we're all just supposed to wait around until "she's ready"?

Exactly!!!!!!!

I was a 4 pack a day smoker.

I quit 4 times.


The last time 35 years ago took, because that was really the only time it was MY decision.

tehan2
10-22-2012, 13:24
as someone who has been "clean" since 2/16/2002 I can tell you it's not easy. I "failed" twice before that date. I didn't try and relapse those 2 times before, I didn't wake up and say "I'm gonna use today".

Cut your sister a break, and don't judge her. I'm sure she didn't wake up and say today's the day I fall off

Glock&KimberLady
10-22-2012, 13:37
Some people are sources. Some people are sinks.

Sinks will latch onto a source, drain them of everything (time, money, emotion) and then curse them for going dry.

Then the sink will move on to another source. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Most alcoholics/drug addicts are sinks. They have a special quality of self-absorption that is rarely matched in "regular" people.

It is NEVER their fault, they are ALWAYS the victim, and the world should give them special consideration for simply being born.

Narcissism at its finest.

bmoore
10-22-2012, 14:03
I don't know you or your sister or what your stories are. With that said I have a ton of respect for you being willing to take in her son. Kids with alcoholic parents is a crappy sitiuation.

Bruce H
10-22-2012, 14:26
Watch the movie El Dorado. Get Mississippi's recipe for the anti drinking potion they poured down Robert Mitchum.

Upgrayedd
10-22-2012, 14:40
......

tsmo1066
10-22-2012, 14:58
some of you may remember my thread about my disfunctional sister and my nephew.

She fell off the wagon after a month and a half or so of AA today. Just disgusted.

I am sure I will get some "it's a process" or "it's to be expected" crap from the whole alcoholism is a disease crowd.

I don't buy it. She is weak, lame and does not care about her son. He is 13, I am considering just asking him if he'd rather live with us or go to his grandparents. He doesn't deserve this.

What a piece of crap she is.

Definitely take on your nephew if he will agree to it. That sort of situation is no place for a young teen.

As for all of the "weakness" you speak of...well...that ain't how it works, but I'm not going to argue it with you if you can't understand. Just avoid preaching that crap to your nephew if you get to take him in. He's been through enough and doesn't need someone preaching to him that his Mother is "weak" and "lame".

RWBlue
10-22-2012, 15:17
You can't force another adult to do what you want them to. They have to want it too.

Well......not legally at least.:shocked:

gjk5
10-22-2012, 15:25
Definitely take on your nephew if he will agree to it. That sort of situation is no place for a young teen.

As for all of the "weakness" you speak of...well...that ain't how it works, but I'm not going to argue it with you if you can't understand. Just avoid preaching that crap to your nephew if you get to take him in. He's been through enough and doesn't need someone preaching to him that his Mother is "weak" and "lame".

I would never talk about her that way to him, I'm not an idiot.

As far as whether or not it IS weakness, what is so different about me waking up every day and deciding I AM NOT going to have a smoke? If I gave in to my craving that would be weakness wouldn't it?

jknight8907
10-22-2012, 16:42
My wife took her to the hospital this AM and had her put in Detox.

She blew a 2.5 BAC @ 10AM.

.25. If it were 2.5 she'd be long since dead.

tehan2
10-22-2012, 17:49
It is NEVER their fault, they are ALWAYS the victim, and the world should give them special consideration for simply being born.



not all of us....I can tell you with 100% certainty that my problem was MY fault. The only victims were those that put up with years of me being an "f-up"

Steel Head
10-22-2012, 19:31
It's CO, she can get a scrip for it, but I don't need the .gov to pay for it, thanks.



I would never say anything bad about her, the kid has it bad enough already.




It's the nephew that makes it my problem.


My wife took her to the hospital this AM and had her put in Detox.

She blew a 2.5 BAC @ 10AM.

It's because of people like you that I live a clean,healthy life.
Some of my family members saved me:wavey:

I've found people don't stay clean untill they have found their LOW.
For some it's a mild kick in the pants and for an unfortunate few it's a box.