Boudreaux and Thibodaux Joke Thread [Archive] - Glock Talk

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certifiedfunds
10-24-2012, 21:45
Good part of GT won't get this but the right folks will. I'll go first:

One November morning, old Boudreaux come out of the woods on a four-wheeler dragging a big black bear behind him. The game warden, Gaspard, just happened to be there and saw Boudreaux head straight for his truck. Now, let me tell you Gaspard had been trying to catch Boudreaux hunting illegally for the past twenty years or so but could never catch him. This morning was his lucky day, he just knew Boudreaux didn't have a hunting license, much less a big-game license. Gaspard waited until Boudreaux loaded up his four-wheeler and put the bear in the back of his pick-up and then drove up to him. He got of his truck and confronted him, "Boudreaux, let me see your hunting license for killing that bear." Old Boudreaux whips out his hunting license and shows it to Gaspard. Gaspard say, "Boudreaux, you also need a big-game license." Gaspard say, "Mais, Boudreaux, I thought I really had you. You know I have been trying to catch you for the last twenty years. Now, I'm going to have to let you go, but before I leave, let me see that bear." Mais, Gaspard looked at that bear and tell Boudreaux, "I see you shot him three times, once in the head, and one time in each in the paws." Boudreaux say, "What you mean three times, I only used one bullet." Gaspard say, "Boudreaux that's kind of hard to do with one bullet." Boudreaux then say, "Now I remember, Gaspard. He put his paws over his face when I shined that spotlight on him."

Gallium
10-24-2012, 22:20
:rofl:

Funny as heck, although you messed up this part...


Old Boudreaux whips out his hunting license and shows it to Gaspard. Gaspard say, "Boudreaux, you also need a big-game license." Gaspard say, [You missed the part where B shows his big game license] "Mais, Boudreaux, I thought I really had you.

sappy13
10-24-2012, 22:23
lol. thats great

Gallium
10-24-2012, 22:23
I don't feed the deer around here - I simply leave corn for my "chickens". :)

Those damn deer ate off all da corn, and come back every night for more. Good thing I have a hunting license and a ready shotgun...

tantrix
10-24-2012, 22:36
Here ya go...

Thibodeaux was in his house one day and hears a knock at his door. He opens it to find a campaign worker soliciting votes for Pierre Boudreaux who was running for office in the parish.

Thibodeaux says "I ain't nerrer gonna vote for Pierre Boudreaux evah in mah life." The campaign worker asks why.

"Well, lemme tell ya alittle story," Thibodeaux says. "About 10 years ago my cow, Bessie, gots the constipation real bad. I called the vet and he said he had some medicine that he could give her to fix it. Now he could either come out and give it to her for fitty dolla, or he could sell me the meds for twenny and I give it to ol' Bessie myself. I figure I can give the cow medicine, so I go into town and buy the medicine and save me a bit of money. It turns out that I have to put the medicine in her butt, and when I get home I start looking around for somethign I could use to do that, and I find my grandpappy's old army bugle. I stick that bugle in ol' Bessie, and it spooks her and she takes off down the road towards the bayou making all kinda crazy noise."

The campaign worker asks Thibodeaux "How does this involve Pierre Boudreaux?"

Thibodeaux continues, "Pierre Boudreaux was working as the bridge keeper at the drawbridge back then, and just as Bessie comes running down the road, he hits the button and the draw bridge goes up. Bessie runs up the bridge and falls into the bayou and drowns."

"I can understand how that must have upset you sir, but Pierre Boudreaux hasn't worked the bridge in over 25 years. Isn't that a long time to hold a grudge?"

"I ain't holdin no grudge...Pierre Boudreaux bought me a new cow. But I ain't votin for no son of a ***** who is too dumb to know the difference between a boat horn and a cow with a bugle in its ass."

Hamilton Burger
10-24-2012, 22:36
So, when they got into Thibodeaux, did Boudreaux's old lady mention a gallon of paint?

:rofl:

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 06:33
Here ya go...

:rofl:

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 06:34
.....

Thibodeaux: Boudreaux, did you get the parrot I sent you for your birthday?

Boudreaux: Yes, it was good!

Thibodeaux: You ate the bird!

Boudreaux: Of Course I ate it.

Thibodeaux: That bird spoke five different languages!

Boudreaux: Then he should have said something.

dango
10-25-2012, 06:39
I don't feed the deer around here - I simply leave corn for my "chickens". :)

Those damn deer ate off all da corn, and come back every night for more. Good thing I have a hunting license and a ready shotgun...

Eat them ,Damned criminals ! You got your corn back is all !

Good jokes.....:rofl: !

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 06:43
.....

Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were taking a trip to Baton Rouge. On their way they saw a sign that said Baton Rouge Left.

So Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went home.

Gareth68
10-25-2012, 06:44
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux were walking through the woods the other day, when a flying saucer landed near them. A door opened, and two little green aliens climbed down out of the spacecraft.

Thibodeaux turned to Boudreaux, "Mais, look at dat. What you tink dat is?"
Boudreaux, aiming his shotgun at the little space critters, replied, "Thibodeaux, I don' know, but you hurry back to de camp, put on de rice pot, and start makin' a roux!

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 06:51
:whistling:


Boudreaux was heading to work at the plant when he noticed Thibodaux standing in his pasture staring at the ground. When he came home 8 hours later Thibodaux was still there.

The next day it was raining. He drove by Thibodaux's place and noticed him doing the exact same thing so thinking something was wrong Boudreaux pulled over and walked out to Thibodaux.

"Mais Thibodaux its pouring rain! What you doin' out here 2 days in a row just standing here?

Thibodaux said, "Cher I'm tryin to win dat Nobel Prize I heard about on da tv news."

"Mais Thibodaux, how you gonna win dat Nobel Prize?" Boudreaux axed.

"The man on tv said you have to be out standing in your field."

Gareth68
10-25-2012, 06:56
Boudreaux spotted Thibodeaux walking down the levee the other day, carrying a sack over his shoulder. Well, of course, curiosity got the best of Boudreaux, and he asked Thibodeaux, "Hey, Mon Homme, what you got in dat sack ?"

Thibodeaux said, "Mais, I got me some chickens in dat sack."

Boudreaux asked, "If I can guess how many chickens you got in dat sack, can I have one of dem?"

Thibodeaux replied, "Mais, my fren, if you can guess how many I got, you can have both of dem!"

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 06:58
Boudreaux spotted Thibodeaux walking down the levee the other day, carrying a sack over his shoulder. Well, of course, curiosity got the best of Boudreaux, and he asked Thibodeaux, "Hey, Mon Homme, what you got in dat sack ?"

Thibodeaux said, "Mais, I got me some chickens in dat sack."

Boudreaux asked, "If I can guess how many chickens you got in dat sack, can I have one of dem?"

Thibodeaux replied, "Mais, my fren, if you can guess how many I got, you can have both of dem!"

:rofl:

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 07:03
Probably won't hurt to fold in some quotes from Louisiana's colorful 4 term governor, Edwin W. Edwards:

“People say I’ve had brushes with the law. That’s not true. I’ve had brushes with overzealous prosecutors.”

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 07:04
“I will be a model prisoner, as I have been a model citizen.“



.....

Gareth68
10-25-2012, 07:09
After he was dead, a Cajun discovered himself in Hell. He looked around awhile, then went right to work shoveling brimstone. The devil came up to him and said, "How you like it here, my friend? It's hard work and it's hot, yeah?"

The Cajun just smiled and answered, "It not so bad. The work is steady. I got no problem with steady work. And it ain't so hot. You think this is hot? Man, I'm from south Lousiana --- It hot there, my fren! This ain't nothing." He just laughed and went back to work singing and having a high old time.

Satan, being a former Texan, did not like Cajuns. He said to himself, "I'll get him. So he don't mind the hot, huh?" Satan waved a hand and the whole place was suddenly ice and snow, solid. And he said, "That'll fix dat fool!"

When he went back to check on the Cajun, he found him jumping up and yelling and laughing and clapping and dancing. So Satan said, "Man, what's wrong with you?!"
The Cajun smiled big and replied, "The Saints done won the Super Bowl!

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 07:11
After he was dead, a Cajun discovered himself in Hell. He looked around awhile, then went right to work shoveling brimstone. The devil came up to him and said, "How you like it here, my friend? It's hard work and it's hot, yeah?"

The Cajun just smiled and answered, "It not so bad. The work is steady. I got no problem with steady work. And it ain't so hot. You think this is hot? Man, I'm from south Lousiana --- It hot there, my fren! This ain't nothing." He just laughed and went back to work singing and having a high old time.

Satan, being a former Texan, did not like Cajuns. He said to himself, "I'll get him. So he don't mind the hot, huh?" Satan waved a hand and the whole place was suddenly ice and snow, solid. And he said, "That'll fix dat fool!"

When he went back to check on the Cajun, he found him jumping up and yelling and laughing and clapping and dancing. So Satan said, "Man, what's wrong with you?!"
The Cajun smiled big and replied, "The Saints done won the Super Bowl!

Bahahahaha !!!!



(And "Satan being a former Texan.."..)





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willie_pete
10-25-2012, 07:39
Probably won't hurt to fold in some quotes from Louisiana's colorful 4 term governor, Edwin W. Edwards:

I used to live in LA. The story was that Edwards once said "the only way he wouldn't get elected was if they found him in bed was a live boy or a dead girl". :rofl:

WP

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 10:15
I used to live in LA. The story was that Edwards once said "the only way he wouldn't get elected was if they found him in bed was a live boy or a dead girl". :rofl:

WP

He also said he would never make speak il of dead people or live judges.





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Batesmotel
10-25-2012, 12:22
I knew some Cajuns that had moved to Memphis. Crazy.

Bears are small game here. Your state could me different.

Hoof=Big Game
Paw=Small Game

Bear and cougar are small game.

GRIMLET
10-25-2012, 12:48
Boudreaux and Thibodaux go over to Orange Beach on vacation. Thibodaux says, "Hey Boudreaux, we need to get we a pair of dem Spee-do swim suits and go to da beach and pick up wimminz!" OOO YAAA!!!! said Boureaux, "And lets put in dem a big tater in there to imress dem tooooo"

Later that afternoon, Boudreaux is getting plenty of attention and phone numbers from the ladies. Thibodeaux is only getting laughs and stares. Thibodeaux says, '' Come on Boudreaux les go home. Dis place is no good for me. I put on dese fancy Spee-do swimmas and even put a tater down there to impress the wimminz and all they do is laugh.''
Boudreaux tells Thibodaux, ''you dumn Cajun, the tater goes in the front of the Spee-dos!!!!"

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 13:17
Boudreaux and Thibodaux go over to Orange Beach on vacation. Thibodaux says, "Hey Boudreaux, we need to get we a pair of dem Spee-do swim suits and go to da beach and pick up wimminz!" OOO YAAA!!!! said Boureaux, "And lets put in dem a big tater in there to imress dem tooooo"

Later that afternoon, Boudreaux is getting plenty of attention and phone numbers from the ladies. Thibodeaux is only getting laughs and stares. Thibodeaux says, '' Come on Boudreaux les go home. Dis place is no good for me. I put on dese fancy Spee-do swimmas and even put a tater down there to impress the wimminz and all they do is laugh.''
Boudreaux tells Thibodaux, ''you dumn Cajun, the tater goes in the front of the Spee-dos!!!!"

:rofl:

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 13:18
One day Boudreaux went to the car dealership, he brought his best friend Thibodeaux along. He decide to test drive his new car first. So they were going down I-10 and Boudreaux told Thibodeaux to climb on to the trunk and see if his blinkers worked. So Thibodeaux climbed to the back and Boudreaux said "Check the left one first!," and then he turned it on. Thibodeaux said "Mais, Yes. Mais, No. Mais, Yes. Mais, No."

tsmo1066
10-25-2012, 13:43
Boudreaux hadn't dropped in on his friend, Thibodeaux, in some time, so he decided to hike over to his buddy's house and see how things were going. As he came up to the front porch, he saw Thibodeaux sitting on the front stoop playing checkers with a 200 pound hog.

Confused, Boudreaux asked his friend "Hey Mon Homme, what you got goin' on der?"

"I got me a new pig." replied Thibodeaux nonchalantly.

As Boudreaux watched, the pig contemplated the checkerboard for a few moments, then made a move and sat back waiting for Thibodeaux to counter.

"Mais, jamais d'la vie!" Exclaimed Boudreaux. "Dat be the damnedest thing I ever seen! You got de most incredible pig I ever did see!"

"Naaaaah." Replied Thibodeaux. "Dis old hog ain't much. We done played five times an' he only beat me once!"

DowntimeLA
10-25-2012, 14:11
Probably won't hurt to fold in some quotes from Louisiana's colorful 4 term governor, Edwin W. Edwards:

Maybe worth it's own thread. Probably one of the most investigated men in the US

I still enjoy reading about the previous corruption in our higher levels of .gov It makes you wonder what's going on now.

tsmo1066
10-25-2012, 14:13
"I used to get things done by saying please. Now I dynamite 'em out of my path."

— Huey Long

fnfalman
10-25-2012, 14:18
What is it aboot, anyway?

CanMan
10-25-2012, 14:32
A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability. "I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says. Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing. The big man hits him again. "Judo from Japan." L'il ol' Boudreaux once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer. The man grabs him putting Boudreaux in a state of suspended animation. "That's a nerve pinch from Korea." After a few minutes, Boudreaux is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out. Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor. Looking down at his tormenter, Boudreaux says, "Two-by-four from Home Depot."

Glockdude1
10-25-2012, 14:41
A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability. "I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says. Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing. The big man hits him again. "Judo from Japan." L'il ol' Boudreaux once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer. The man grabs him putting Boudreaux in a state of suspended animation. "That's a nerve pinch from Korea." After a few minutes, Boudreaux is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out. Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor. Looking down at his tormenter, Boudreaux says, "Two-by-four from Home Depot."

:rofl:

JohnBT
10-25-2012, 15:23
For the person who has everything.

www.walmart.com/ip/Boudreaux-s-B9350/5346921 (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Boudreaux-s-B9350/5346921)

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/36/21/03/33/0036210333306_180X180.jpg

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 15:36
For the person who has everything.

www.walmart.com/ip/Boudreaux-s-B9350/5346921 (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Boudreaux-s-B9350/5346921)

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/36/21/03/33/0036210333306_180X180.jpg

That stuff is great

Glockdude1
10-25-2012, 16:16
For the person who has everything.

www.walmart.com/ip/Boudreaux-s-B9350/5346921 (http://www.walmart.com/ip/Boudreaux-s-B9350/5346921)

http://i.walmartimages.com/i/p/00/36/21/03/33/0036210333306_180X180.jpg

:thumbsup:

That paste is good. When my 2 were in diapers, it was better than Gold!!

:cool:

WIMPY
10-25-2012, 16:55
Met Thibodaux comming out of the woods with a big hawk he had killed. Ask him what he was going to do with the hawk and he replied he was going to fry him up. I ask hin what fried hawk tasted like. He replied, OWL.

Dennis in MA
10-25-2012, 19:18
A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability. "I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says. Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing. The big man hits him again. "Judo from Japan." L'il ol' Boudreaux once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer. The man grabs him putting Boudreaux in a state of suspended animation. "That's a nerve pinch from Korea." After a few minutes, Boudreaux is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out. Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor. Looking down at his tormenter, Boudreaux says, "Two-by-four from Home Depot."

I remember when that joke was a pipe wrench from Sears and Roebuck. Lol

Mayhem like Me
10-25-2012, 20:11
Boudreaux & Thibodeaux, and their wives, Marie & Clotile, decided to get together to play some booray (Cajun card game) the other night. After a couple of hours of card playing and beer drinking, Boudreaux had to answer the "call of nature", so he got up to go to the bathroom. About the same time, Clotile went to the kitchen to get them some more beer. While Thibodeaux and Marie were alone, the beer was making Thibodeaux start to feel a little amorous, and he started talking trash with Marie. He remarked how good looking he thought she was, and of course, one thing led to another, and he finally suggested that they should do "the big nasty" together sometime. Marie reminded him that he and Boudreaux were best friends, and that she didn't think that would be right. Well, of course, Thibodeaux kept trying, finally offering her a hundred bucks for the deed. Well, this was too much for Marie to pass up, so she agreed. They planned to meet the next day while Boudreaux was at work, and take care of business. Bright and early the next morning, Thibodeaux shows up at Marie and Boudreaux's house, and he and Marie pass them a good time all day long. Later he gives Marie the hundred bucks and leaves. A couple of hours later, Boudreaux gets home from work and asks Marie if Thibodeaux had been by during the day. Marie, a little surprised, nervously tells him yes. Boudreaux then asks her if Thibodeaux gave her a hundred dollars. Marie, real nervous now, tells him yes. Boudreaux says, "Mais, dat Thibodeaux, I can always count on him, yeh. Yestiday, he borrow a hundred dollars from me, and he promise dat he would pass by and drop it off for me before I got home today !". :supergrin:

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 21:50
One day, Boudreaux and Clotile were riding their boat at Bayou Benoit when they hit a sunken log and the boat overturned. Clotile didn't have a life jacket on, and she drowned. The sheriff and a bunch of neighbors came by to try to find her, but they didn't have any luck. A week passed and Thibodeaux knocked on Boudreaux's front door.
"Boudreaux, I have some good news and some bad news for you."

"Give me the bad news first."

"Well, the bad news is that we found Clotile. She drowned. We so sorry for you."

"Well go on, what is the good news?"

"The good new is--when we pull her up, we fill two sacks of big blue point crab."

"Mais, where you put her body?"

"Well, Boudreaux. De first time we did so good with the crabs, we decided to leave her in the water one more day."

certifiedfunds
10-25-2012, 21:50
Dare was da time Boudreaux was having trouble sleeping at night. Boudreaux wrote a letter to the Internal Revenue Service. He put, "Dear Internal Revenue Service, For da tax year 1993 I underpaid my federal income tax and ain't been able to sleep well since. Enclosed is a check for $200.00. Signed, Yours in Good Government, Boudreaux". And he put at the bottom, "Mais, P.S. If I don't sleep better tonight, I'm gonna send you da rest."

noway
10-25-2012, 22:32
Boudreaux enters Thibodeaux's barbershop for a shave. While Thibodeaux is foaming him up, Boudreaux mentions da problems he has gettin' a close shave around the cheeks. Thibodeaux said, "Mais, I'm got just the ting", taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. "Just place dis between your cheek and gum." Boudreaux places the ball in his mouth and Thib proceeds with da closest shave Boudreaux has ever experienced. After a few strokes, Boudreaux axe, " Mais, what if I swallow it ?"

"No problem," says Thibodeaux. "Just bring it back tomorrow like everyone else does."

GRIMLET
10-25-2012, 22:34
Hey Funds, how about some Cajun Christmas tales by Fisk?
Twas the night before Christmas on Bayou Tom Tom.

Lone_Wolfe
10-25-2012, 23:27
A very drunk patron at a bar is trying to impress everyone with his fighting ability. "I am trained in every hand-to-hand combat there is," he says. To further prove his point, he walks up to Boudreaux, who happened to be in the bar, and whops him behind the neck! "Karate chop from China," he says. Poor Boudreaux gets up off the floor and sits back in his seat, saying nothing. The big man hits him again. "Judo from Japan." L'il ol' Boudreaux once again picks himself up off the floor and continues sipping his beer. The man grabs him putting Boudreaux in a state of suspended animation. "That's a nerve pinch from Korea." After a few minutes, Boudreaux is able to move again. Instead of getting back on his bar stool he walks out. Ten minutes later he walks in with a large board in his hands and hits the drunk square in the head with the board, laying him flat out on the floor. Looking down at his tormenter, Boudreaux says, "Two-by-four from Home Depot."

:rofl: :rofl:

Hines57
10-26-2012, 00:13
.... play some booray (Cajun card game) ......

Thanks for reminding me of that. Got suckered into that one time. freakin coonasses



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