How do you explain to a Muslim what pork taste like? [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Dalton Wayne
10-26-2012, 08:40
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

skew12
10-26-2012, 08:41
Like heaven...

Ian Moone
10-26-2012, 08:46
The same way you would explain to him what a virgin is.

:whistling:

OctoberRust
10-26-2012, 08:48
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????


A GOOD muslim?!!?!?! Everyone on GT tells me there's no such thing as a good muslim though. It's just a matter of time before he pulls an RPG or IED out and blows you up Dalton! Get out now! :shocked:

Gareth68
10-26-2012, 08:53
There are many religions to choose from. If you want to pick one that says this is wrong, who the hell am I to convince you otherwise.

http://imageshack.us/a/img33/3708/img1061cf.jpg

More for me.

frizz
10-26-2012, 09:10
Get an observant Jew to explain!

This is not directed ast you... I'll add that there is nothing in the New Testament that tells me that pork (and lobster and shrimp) were off the banned list. "I came to fulfill The Law, not to change it." - Jesus. See Matt. 5:17

I take note that many Christian women wearing gold crosses condemn homosexuals based on the same section of the Old Testament that forbids women to wear gold.

Jack_Pine
10-26-2012, 09:19
Tastes like chicken.

KalashniKEV
10-26-2012, 09:24
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add...

:rofl::rofl:
:upeyes:

fnfalman
10-26-2012, 09:25
First of all, wild boar doesn't taste anything like the domesticated pig.

Secondly, tell him it tastes like ice cream.

cowboywannabe
10-26-2012, 09:27
tell him its venison and let him try a bite.

raven11
10-26-2012, 09:30
the funny thing is most of the Muslims(Saudi, Pakistani) I met won't eat pork but have no problems getting lap dances from strippers... never understood that

aplcr0331
10-26-2012, 09:30
Chicken, as has been said before. It's always chicken.

Just lie to them like I do to my 8 year old.

Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Pork*
Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Breaded Talapia*
Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Turkey* it's Thanksgiving for God's sake this kids a rock.
Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Beef*

Baba Louie
10-26-2012, 09:32
Depends on what part of the porker and how you prepare and cook it, actually.

Bacon... so good you can take crappy food, wrap it w/ some bake as required and voila! A meal fit for anyone who knows enough to cook the meat properly, something they obviously did not do too well, back in the day... so rules were made forbidding same.

tsmo1066
10-26-2012, 09:33
Bring a pulled pork sandwich to work and tell him it's shredded beef brisket or something else. After he takes a few bites, let him know what he's eating.

If he spits it out and fires you, he's a devout Muslim indeed. If he keeps on chewing, you've just stolen his soul from Allah.

I say it's a risk worth taking!

:supergrin:

frizz
10-26-2012, 09:34
the funny thing is most of the Muslims(Saudi, Pakistani) I met won't eat pork but have no problems getting lap dances from strippers... never understood that
Or Catholic girls who have sex w/their boyfriends, but won't use any birth control "because the Pope sez birth control is a sin."

This is not uncommon.

KalashniKEV
10-26-2012, 10:14
Bring a pulled pork sandwich to work and tell him it's shredded beef brisket or something else. After he takes a few bites, let him know what he's eating.


...and then when he's beating the living hell out of your dumb ass, make sure you cry out, "I thought this was the religion of peace! Why are you so violent? AGHH!"

...and then when your dumb ass is on the unemployment line, make sure you blame it all on Obama!

:supergrin:

fnfalman
10-26-2012, 10:17
the funny thing is most of the Muslims(Saudi, Pakistani) I met won't eat pork but have no problems getting lap dances from strippers... never understood that

Because swines are filthy animals while strippers are "dirty".

Glock20 10mm
10-26-2012, 10:20
Give him some and promise not to tell anyone. He can say 40 Hail Allah's, kiss a camel and be okay in his gods eye.

okie
10-26-2012, 10:23
Chicken, as has been said before. It's always chicken.

Just lie to them like I do to my 8 year old.

Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Pork*
Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Breaded Talapia*
Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Turkey* it's Thanksgiving for God's sake this kids a rock.
Noah to Dad: "What's this?
Dad to Noah: "Chicken!" *Beef*
:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

Hef
10-26-2012, 10:24
It's just like baby.

Chaos
10-26-2012, 11:02
Get an observant Jew to explain!

This is not directed ast you... I'll add that there is nothing in the New Testament that tells me that pork (and lobster and shrimp) were off the banned list. "I came to fulfill The Law, not to change it." - Jesus. See Matt. 5:17

I take note that many Christian women wearing gold crosses condemn homosexuals based on the same section of the Old Testament that forbids women to wear gold.
How dare you bring logic into this debate? :whistling:

Chaos

eruby
10-26-2012, 11:06
Just have him take a big whiff of something pork. That would be (almost) as good as tasting it and I don't believe Allah (or General Skandar Akbar for that matter) would mind.

series1811
10-26-2012, 11:15
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

Play him the diner scene from Pulp Fiction, "Bacon taste good!"

G29Reload
10-26-2012, 11:30
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

Cook some bacon near him. He'll be helping you dye Easter eggs come March.

What muslim?

:rofl:

Next stop: Bourbon!

We have all the good stuff.

DanaT
10-26-2012, 11:36
Tastes like cat.

byf43
10-26-2012, 11:37
Get several slices of some GOOD, thick bacon, and 'Zzzzzzaaaaaaaaapppp' it in the microwave for 7-1/2 minutes, then take it out and let him smell it.
(Place a couple of layers of paper towels over the bacon, so that it doesn't splatter all over the place, while cooking!)

Tell him, "THAT is what pork tastes like!"

Also, I agree. . . . Wild BOAR tastes nothing like domesticated pig/hog.

Wild boar IS delicious, btw!! The bacon/hams/sausage is out of this world!

Meanie5470
10-26-2012, 11:38
Its indescribable. I dont claim any religion but I am muslim by my fathers blood so Ive spent a lot of my life trying to answer this very question. Honestly the closest thing ive ever tasted to pork that isnt is turkey bacon. Its not as good as the real thing by a long shot but def the closest.

Osborne
10-26-2012, 11:44
Its indescribable. I dont claim any religion but I am muslim by my fathers blood so Ive spent a lot of my life trying to answer this very question. Honestly the closest thing ive ever tasted to pork that isnt is turkey bacon. Its not as good as the real thing by a long shot but def the closest.

Turkey bacons good stuff too!!!!

NDCent
10-26-2012, 11:45
Tell him all you know is it doesn't taste kosher.

dakrat
10-26-2012, 12:01
have a bite. I won't tell your God.

holesinpaper
10-26-2012, 12:08
Maybe they should ask a Jewish person what it tastes like?

briarpatch
10-26-2012, 12:15
Cant he change religions for one day?

Bren
10-26-2012, 12:20
A friend of mine was sittting in the dfac (Army dining facility) one day with the Afghan first sergeant he was advising, and I was at the next table laughing, as the guy was questioning him about whether some tacos or burritos had pork in them...while he was eating a slice of sausage pizza.

If it's good, I don't think they care all that much - sort of like how they don't drink alcohol...unless they can get their hands on some.

deadmanglocking
10-26-2012, 13:12
I worked with a Muslim guy that would eat bacon every once in a while. When I questioned him he came up with some long explanation about how Allah didn't see it so it was ok. He also drank vodka and went to strip clubs.


The rifle itself has no moral stature, since it has no will of its own. Naturally, it may be used by evil men for evil purposes, but there are more good men than evil, and while the latter cannot be persuaded to the path of righteousness by propaganda, they can certainly be corrected by good men with rifles.

OctoberRust
10-26-2012, 13:15
Because swines are filthy animals while strippers are "dirty".


I think it's ok if the stripper is also a Muslim. :rofl:

czsmithGT
10-26-2012, 13:21
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

I wouldn't try to explain the taste at all. If he can't eat it why would he care what it tastes like?

But if you feel compelled to explain it:
http://www.iranmilitaryforum.net/the-tea-house/cannibals-say-that-pork-tastes-like-human-flesh/

nursetim
10-26-2012, 13:41
Like 144 virgins, twice as good as anything they can imagine. Mmmmmmmm Bacon, the only food I'm okay dying for.

John Rambo
10-26-2012, 13:57
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

If your boss doesn't eat Bacon, he is not one of the good ones.


Don't trust a man who won't eat Bacon.

JBnTX
10-26-2012, 14:05
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

Don't let your boss fool you, he's tasted pork.
Probably more than a few times.

Most Muslims in this country came here to get away from the restrictions of Islam. The first thing they do is experience all that's forbidden by Islam.

Alcohol, pork, some strange on the side, they've done it.

tantrix
10-26-2012, 14:07
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

You tell him it's good, and he's missing out.

Hell, we even have a festival for pork here every year in Mansura called the Cochon de Lait (French).

RWBlue
10-26-2012, 14:12
My boss is a Muslim, one of the good ones I might add, any way we were talking about my up coming hog hunt, and I was trying to explain what pork taste like, I said it was sorta like Chicken, how would you explain????

It depends on the part of the pig and how it is fixed.

I would start by going out for some BBQ. Get some Pork, Chicken and Beef. Then do a comparison.

The next step is probably Tenderloin beef vs. Tenderloin pork.

The next step is probably thick cut honey ham vs.turkey and roast beef.

As far as bacon is concerned, I am not a bacon alone type person. It is the interaction between it and the eggs, tenderloin, cheese burger....the combination of the two items makes it better than either one item. I could probably get the flavours by adding salt and grease to those combinations.

Then again there is the other option....it is hard to eat kosher or halal in America. Given enough time, I am sure he will get something with pork in it.

Ragnar
10-26-2012, 14:25
This brings up an interesting question.

If you were Jewish or Muslim and had never eaten pork in your entire life, how would you know that the sandwich you're eating isn't a ham sandwich?

RWBlue
10-26-2012, 15:07
But if you feel compelled to explain it:
http://www.iranmilitaryforum.net/the-tea-house/cannibals-say-that-pork-tastes-like-human-flesh/

Very interesting website.



For some reason I really want to eat soylent green now.

Danny Reid
10-26-2012, 15:22
I would tell them they already know what it tastes like...

'Remember that time you thought you were eating chicken...you weren't...you were eating pork! Now you are contaminated and Allah doesn't want you anymore. Have a nice day.'

tantrix
10-26-2012, 15:25
Very interesting website.



For some reason I really want to eat soylent green now.


Good to know...I know exactly how to cook the poor SOB I might have to eat one day. :whistling:

stevelyn
10-26-2012, 15:33
Tell him that living his life according to ancient invisible man mythology is no way to live.

RWBlue
10-26-2012, 15:34
I find it strange that so many people what to screw around with another person's religion, but would take offence if I did it to theirs.

RWBlue
10-26-2012, 15:36
This brings up an interesting question.

If you were Jewish or Muslim and had never eaten pork in your entire life, how would you know that the sandwich you're eating isn't a ham sandwich?


I lunch with a Kosher Jew and a Muslim who has tried to avoid pork. Every now and then, someone screws up and they don't always know it.

KalashniKEV
10-26-2012, 16:06
Tell him that living his life according to ancient invisible man mythology is no way to live.

Good advice for everyone...

Gareth68
10-26-2012, 16:29
Good to know...I know exactly how to cook the poor SOB I might have to eat one day. :whistling:

Let me guess...


You start with a roux..


:whistling:

tantrix
10-26-2012, 16:41
Let me guess...


You start with a roux..


:whistling:


Possibly...but I might pit-roast him too, all depends on what I'm in the mood for. :rofl:

SevenSixtyTwo
10-26-2012, 17:09
the funny thing is most of the Muslims(Saudi, Pakistani) I met won't eat pork but have no problems getting lap dances from strippers... never understood that

Pork causes hardening of the arteries. Oh... never mind!:supergrin:

Glock_Convert
10-26-2012, 17:20
Slightly sweet lamb.

Sent from my DROIDX using Tapatalk 2

vart
10-26-2012, 17:25
Get an observant Jew to explain!

This is not directed ast you... I'll add that there is nothing in the New Testament that tells me that pork (and lobster and shrimp) were off the banned list. "I came to fulfill The Law, not to change it." - Jesus. See Matt. 5:17


Mark 7:18 (NIV) "Are you so dull?" he asked. "Don't you see that nothing that enters a man from the outside can make him 'unclean'?
Mark 7:19 (NIV) For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body."

RWBlue
10-26-2012, 17:46
Mark 7:19 (NIV) For it doesn't go into his heart but into his stomach, and then out of his body."

But then the bible is wrong, because it causes hardening of the arteries?

hpracing007
10-26-2012, 19:09
Does ramen noodle, pork flavor have any pork in it? It's not going taste as good as bacon or the other mentioned dishes but at least he'll get an idea.

Boot Stomper
10-26-2012, 23:31
Tell him the pig is a magical animal.

Homer Simpson's Magical Animal - YouTube

Cali-Glock
10-26-2012, 23:36
Get an observant Jew to explain!

This is not directed ast you... I'll add that there is nothing in the New Testament that tells me that pork (and lobster and shrimp) were off the banned list. "I came to fulfill The Law, not to change it." - Jesus. See Matt. 5:17

I take note that many Christian women wearing gold crosses condemn homosexuals based on the same section of the Old Testament that forbids women to wear gold.

See Acts 10
9The next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the housetop about the sixth hourb to pray. 10And he became hungry and wanted something to eat, but while they were preparing it, he fell into a trance 11and saw the heavens opened and something like a great sheet descending, being let down by its four corners upon the earth. 12In it were all kinds of animals and reptiles and birds of the air. 13And there came a voice to him: “Rise, Peter; kill and eat.” 14But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or unclean.” 15And the voice came to him again a second time, “What God has made clean, do not call common.” 16This happened three times, and the thing was taken up at once to heaven.

M1a65
10-27-2012, 00:58
What does pork taste like? Tell him it tastes like FREEDOM!

stevelyn
10-27-2012, 01:02
Good advice for everyone...

It was intended for everyone.



Start with a grilled SPAM and cheese sammich and see what he thinks.

Snaps
10-27-2012, 01:16
I just fed 'em pork rhines and then told him what they were.

droidfire
10-27-2012, 07:34
What does pork taste like?

In a word, Freedom.

In two words, not yours.