Stuff our kids say [Archive] - Glock Talk

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frank_drebin
12-23-2012, 21:21
Lets hear the best lines from your kids.

Here's mine, happened today.
She's two.

Her: "Daddy, I need to go to time out"
Me: "Why sweetie, what did you do?"
Her "I'm going to go kick Maggie (family dog)"

NEOH212
12-23-2012, 21:25
And I quote, "Meow."

That's all they say!

:cat:

NorthCarolinaLiberty
12-23-2012, 21:26
Teen: I'm going to run away from home.

Parent: Okay; just get me a beer before you leave.

Folsom_Prison
12-23-2012, 21:35
My cousin was hanging stockings. Her daughter came in and said wow mom, those are really big socks!!! Hahaha, she's three.

frank_drebin
12-23-2012, 21:36
My cousin was hanging stockings. Her daughter came in and said wow mom, those are really big socks!!! Hahaha, she's three.

Funny thing is, at that age they accept it and move on.

jay-bird
12-23-2012, 21:38
"when I get twenty-one, I will drink beer and it will be hell good."
- my three-year-old son

frank_drebin
12-23-2012, 21:44
"when I get twenty-one, I will drink beer and it will be hell good."
- my three-year-old son

Awesome

gjk5
12-23-2012, 21:54
"Daddy, I think Jesus died on the cross so the Easter Bunny didn't have to" (after a couple years in Catholic skrool)

her 2nd Halloween my wife dressed as a witch, Cate says "look Daddy, Mommy's a *****!" only sometimes dear.

headed to the lake with boat in tow, slow guy in front of us, get to state park entrance has all sorts of stupid questions and youngest leans out of window and says "hurry up you jackass!" the ranger was still laughing when I pulled up. wife was not amused.

Folsom_Prison
12-23-2012, 22:04
"Daddy, I think Jesus died on the cross so the Easter Bunny didn't have to" (after a couple years in Catholic skrool)

her 2nd Halloween my wife dressed as a witch, Cate says "look Daddy, Mommy's a *****!" only sometimes dear.

headed to the lake with boat in tow, slow guy in front of us, get to state park entrance has all sorts of stupid questions and youngest leans out of window and says "hurry up you jackass!" the ranger was still laughing when I pulled up. wife was not amused.

:rofl::rofl:

K.Kiser
12-23-2012, 22:07
The internet doesn't have enough bandwidth to house the cliff notes to all I've heard...

HollowHead
12-23-2012, 22:14
"Daddy, Mommy was using her sponge to wash the pool boy's face." HH

Tarkio
12-23-2012, 22:57
When explaining to my daughter that her grandmother had passed away. She was bummed and started to tear up. I explained that Grandma had been doing poorly, weakening over the past few months and so it wasn't unexpected and probably for the best.

She held her hand over her mouth and asked quietly, "did they have to put her down?"

Got to love ranch/country kids.

certifiedfunds
12-23-2012, 23:31
Daddy, can I take this bucket of water into my room?

No.

I'll give you 20 dollars.

GRIMLET
12-24-2012, 00:08
Skelebones for skeleton

Octocopter for helicopter

Firefightermdc
12-24-2012, 00:28
My wife (whos of Latin descent): "Baby why dont you learn spanish so you can talk to Grama and somebof yourbcousins more?"
My son who is 5: "No way! I dont need to speak Spanish, we live in WeMerica!"

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SGH-I317 using Tapatalk 2

k9medic
12-24-2012, 06:12
The other night at the dinner table, I was tapping on a bottle of BBQ sauce when the top came off. The sauce got all over my hands.

My two boys (6 and 8) as well as my wife started to laugh hysterically. While they were laughing, I decided to wipe my hands off - on my 6 year old's forehead. My 6 y/o's laugh then turned into a cry which caught me off guard.

I asked him why he was crying and he replied "'cause I'm not a napkin, I'm a little boy!"

That damn kid says some funny things.

mac66
12-24-2012, 06:39
Standing in line at Disney World when an older couple in front of us struck of a conversation with my 7 year old son. They asked him what his name was.

"Well my name is Ryan but my dad just calls me Knucklehead"

Dennis in MA
12-24-2012, 08:25
"Daddy, Mommy was using her sponge to wash the pool boy's face." HH

You can afford a pool boy and your wife doesn't landscape? LOL


My 5 yr old has trouble with TH's. According to him, TH and F sound the same.

Well, the other day he was going to say "thanks." It's "fanks" to him. And he was going to say something else to my daughter.

All he said was "F. . .F$%^"

There was absolute silence in the kitchen for 10 seconds before we realized he had no idea what he had said and was just mixing words. LOL


My middle one - almost 14 - used to hate R's and L's. She talked like Rocky the Gangster in the Bugs Bunny cartoons.

Often, me and my dad would get her to say, "Git back in da cage, boid!"

Thumpernator
12-24-2012, 08:45
Couple of months ago I shaved off my mustache of 30 years. While holding my Granddaughter of 5 she said, "Grandpa, I found your mustache,,,,,,, it's in your nose!"

:rofl:

uptomyneck
12-24-2012, 09:21
My wife is driving the pastor's wife around, with my 4 year old in the back. They pull up to a light and my son points to the man in the car next to them and says, "That man is a SOB!" My wife is agast and the preacher's wife says, "I see that Josh has been riding with Uptomyneck again."

okie
12-24-2012, 09:39
Teen: I'm going to run away from home.

Parent: Okay; just get me a beer before you leave.

That's funny right there:rofl::rofl:

Cybercowboy
12-24-2012, 10:04
And I quote, "Meow."

That's all they say!

:cat:

Same here although sometime one will make a retching sound, usually right after it has jumped up on our bed in the middle of the night.

Kustom_efekt
12-24-2012, 10:04
2.5 yr old who is somewhat potty trained speaking to the wife:

Kid: i gotta small tootie and mommy gotta a big tootie

Wife: we'll my self esteem has been destroyed

Me: lol

manfred the wonder d
12-24-2012, 10:32
Lastterday.
Grandpa, I'm gonna be soo sad when you die.

gommer
12-24-2012, 12:25
Daddy, can I take this bucket of water into my room?

No.

I'll give you 20 dollars.

Just curious, what'd you spend the $20 on?

certifiedfunds
12-24-2012, 12:29
Just curious, what'd you spend the $20 on?

Pmag of course!

Kidding.

IT'S MY TWENTY DOLLARS!!!!

fusegsp
12-24-2012, 13:05
"when I get twenty-one, I will drink beer and it will be hell good."
- my three-year-old sonDoes GTDS have a junior achievers program?

DustyJacket
12-24-2012, 14:31
My daughter was 5 or so when we went to visit my F-i-L.
The next day I adjusted the shower for her, not knowing the temperature of the water in the barn fluctuates.

She came running out of the bathroom, starkers, yelling "The water is too f.....g hot!".
Grammatically correct, and properly used, but my wife did not appreciate that.

tehan2
12-24-2012, 16:24
I have 2 daughters...when the oldest was about 4 she walked into our room as I was coming out of the shower. Really not a big deal at the time.

When I picked her up later from daycare, the (young, hot) teacher told me that my daughter told her that I had a long tail....had I been single and been about 15 years younger, I think I could've had a "date"

mac66
12-25-2012, 08:08
My youngest son when he was about 6 or 7 was told to clean his room. He had clothes all over his bed. He came out a few minutes later his hands clasped to his head overwhelmed and exasperated.

"What's wrong?" he was asked

"Too much pants" he replied

He is 27 now but "Too much pants" became an inside joke and common saying in our family ever since.

When ever I came home and had a frustrating day at work, my wife would ask "too much pants?"

It always made me laugh and say "Yeah, too much pants."

Gunhaver
12-25-2012, 08:44
"Mommy, I can't wait until I'm old enough to go to the ******cologist with you."

certifiedfunds
12-25-2012, 09:34
I have 2 daughters...when the oldest was about 4 she walked into our room as I was coming out of the shower. Really not a big deal at the time.

When I picked her up later from daycare, the (young, hot) teacher told me that my daughter told her that I had a long tail....had I been single and been about 15 years younger, I think I could've had a "date"

I think my daughter was about 18 months old when I was standing at the toilet peeing and between my legs popped her head. Determined to see what she was curious about she pivoted and looked up.

Tough spot

Camper10
12-25-2012, 18:40
the babysitter lady had just left. So my wife was explaining to my (pretty sharp) 7 yr old daughter about why we couldn't call someone at the moment.

Wife: We can't call marion because she doesn't have a cell phone, she only has a home phone.

Daughter: What's a home phone?

Wife: uh...uh...

Wow, another sign of the times moving quickly.

bakerj
12-25-2012, 20:03
While waiting for a table at a restaurant one night, my two year old daughter tugged my arm and exclaimed while pointing "Look Dad! Its a chocolate boy!"

ClydeG19
12-25-2012, 21:13
My 2yo twins have a friend named Orrin who they call Whorrin. My daughter can't say Tr's. She used F's in place of them, so the word truck is interesting.

One time my wife had them in the grocery store where they have pics of cows over the dairy section. There was a heavyset woman walking by when my kids saw the cow pictures and started yelling "moo! moo!" That required some explaining by my wife.

Once when we had a contractor at the house, my son ran up to me, pointed at my junk and starting yelling "pee pee! pee pee!" Following that he pointed to his own and yelled the same.

roadstar111
12-26-2012, 15:23
My five year old son........."take it easy big guy"

clancy
12-26-2012, 17:30
When my son was around 8 I started having him use deodorant. One evening he comes out of the shower and I asked him if he had put his deodorant on. He told me he put it on before he took a shower. When I asked why, he said" to save time".

When he was around 3 we were standing in line at the check out counter and thee was a morbidly obese white woman in front of us with about the ugliest set of dreadlocks have ever seen. My son looked at her and said "Daddy, her hair is really messed up!" She got quite angry, to say the least.

nursetim
12-26-2012, 17:34
So how did you deal with mad cow?

Batesmotel
12-26-2012, 17:46
My nephew to his sunday school teacher.

If the wise men were so smart why didn't they bring a blanket instead of gold?

Later that day to his dad.

If Joseph was so smart why didn't he call ahead and get a reservation?

frank_drebin
12-30-2012, 11:36
I woke up this morning and stretched. As I did I said "Ohhhhhh, I need some Aleve. My 2 year old walked over to the plant in our room, ripped this off an brought it to me. "Here's a leaf daddy. Is that feel better?"
http://img.tapatalk.com/d/12/12/31/aqamysyj.jpg

Foxterriermom
12-30-2012, 19:10
Once when we had a contractor at the house, my son ran up to me, pointed at my junk and starting yelling "pee pee! pee pee!" Following that he pointed to his own and yelled the same.

Oh my gosh! I just laughed my butt off!!!!