Eddie C.
04-04-2003, 18:38
Very Funny
> >
> >
> > > McDonnell Douglas warranty card:
> > > This was allegedly posted very briefly on the
> > > McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who
> > > obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
> > > course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the
> > > web department take it down immediately.
>
> > > (For once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a
> > > read too....)
> > >
> > > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> > > aircraft. In order to protect your new investment,
> > > please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
> > > registration card below. Answering the survey
> > > questions is not required, but the information will
> > > help us to develop new products that best meet your
> > > needs and desires.
> > >
> > > 1. Title
> > > [_] Mr.
> > > [_] Mrs.
> > > [_] Ms.
> > > [_] Miss
> > > [_] Lt.
> > > [_] Gen.
> > > [_] Comrade
> > > [_] Classified
> > > [_] Other
> > >
> > > First Name:
> > > ............................................
> > >
> > > Initial: ........
> > >
> > > Last Name:
> > > ..............................................
> > >
> > > Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
> > >
> > > Code Name:
> > > ..............................................
> > >
> > > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
> > >
> > > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> > > [_] F-14 Tomcat
> > > [_] F-15 Eagle
> > > [_] F-16 Falcon
> > > [_] F-117A Stealth
> > > [_] Classified
> > >
> > > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
> > > ......../......./......
> > >
> > > 4. Serial Number:
> > > ........................................
> > >
> > > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> > > [_] Received as gift / aid package
> > > [_] Catalogue / showroom
> > > [_] Independent arms broker
> > > [_] Mail order
> > > [_] Discount store
> > > [_] Government surplus
> > > [_] Classified
> > >
> > > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
> > > McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
> > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> > > [_] Store display
> > > [_] Espionage
> > > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> > > [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> > > [_] Was attacked by one
> > >
> > > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
> > > influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
> > > Douglas product:
> > > [_] Style / appearance
> > > [_] Speed / maneuverability
> > > [_] Price / value
> > > [_] Comfort / convenience
> > > [_] Kickback / bribe
> > > [_] Recommended by salesperson
> > > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> > > [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> > > [_] Backroom politics
> > > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
> > >
> > > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product
> > > will be used:
> > > [_] North America
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Aircraft carrier
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Europe
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Africa
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Asia / Far East
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Misc. Third World countries
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Classified
> > > [_] Iraq
> > >
> > > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own
> > > or intend to purchase in the near future:
> > > [_] Color TV
> > > [_] VCR
> > > [_] ICBM
> > > [_] Killer Satellite
> > > [_] CD Player
> > > [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> > > [_] Space Shuttle
> > > [_] Home Computer
> > > [_] Nuclear Weapon
> > >
> > > 10. How would you describe yourself or your
> > > organization? (Indicate all that apply:)
> > > [_] Communist / Socialist
> > > [_] Terrorist
> > > [_] Crazed
> > > [_] Neutral
> > > [_] Democratic
> > > [_] Dictatorship
> > > [_] Corrupt
> > > [_] Primitive / Tribal
> > >
> > > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
> > > product?
> > > [_] Deficit spending
> > > [_] Cash
> > > [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> > > [_] Oil revenues
> > > [_] Personal check
> > > [_] Credit card
> > > [_] Ransom money
> > > [_] Traveler's check
> > >
> > > 12. Your occupation:
> > > [_] Homemaker
> > > [_] Sales / marketing
> > > [_] Revolutionary
> > > [_] Clerical
> > > [_] Mercenary
> > > [_] Tyrant
> > > [_] Middle management
> > > [_] Eccentric billionaire
> > > [_] Defense Minister / General
> > > [_] Retired
> > > [_] Student
> > >
> > > 13. To help us better understand our customers, please
> > > indicate the interests and activities in which you and
> > > your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
> > > [_] Golf
> > > [_] Boating / sailing
> > > [_] Sabotage
> > > [_] Running / jogging
> > > [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> > > [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> > > [_] Default on loans
> > > [_] Gardening
> > > [_] Crafts
> > > [_] Black market / smuggling
> > > [_] Collectibles / collections
> > > [_] Watching sports on TV
> > > [_] Wines
> > > [_] Interrogation / torture
> > > [_] Household pets
> > > [_] Crushing rebellions
> > > [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> > > [_] Fashion clothing
> > > [_] Border disputes
> > > [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
> > >
> > > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
> > > questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market
> > > studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
> > > better in the future - as well as allowing you to
> > > receive mailings and special offers from other
> > > companies, governments, extremist groups and
> > > mysterious consortia.
> > >
> > > As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
> > > registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert
> > > Thunder Sweepstakes!
> > >
> > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> > > Please write to:
> > > McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> > > Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
> > >
> > > IMPORTANT:
> > > This email is intended for the use of the individual
> > > addressee(s) named above and may contain information
> > > that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for
> > > overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no
> > > sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If
> > > you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
> > > distribution or copying of this email is not
> > > authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and
> > > constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the
> > > word absquatulation has been used in its correct
> > > context somewhere other than in this warning, it does
> > > not have any legal or grammatical use and may be
> > > ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of
> > > this email, although the pit bull next door is living
> > > on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with
> > > an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified
> > > to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by
> > > reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that
> > > Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, pouring a
> > > complete circle of salt around yourself and your
> > > Computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and
> > > your pets.If you have received this email in error,
> > > please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place
> > > in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Sure, you can TRUST the
> > > Government. Ask any Indian.
> > >
> >
> >
> > > McDonnell Douglas warranty card:
> > > This was allegedly posted very briefly on the
> > > McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who
> > > obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
> > > course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the
> > > web department take it down immediately.
>
> > > (For once, the 'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a
> > > read too....)
> > >
> > > Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military
> > > aircraft. In order to protect your new investment,
> > > please take a few moments to fill out the warranty
> > > registration card below. Answering the survey
> > > questions is not required, but the information will
> > > help us to develop new products that best meet your
> > > needs and desires.
> > >
> > > 1. Title
> > > [_] Mr.
> > > [_] Mrs.
> > > [_] Ms.
> > > [_] Miss
> > > [_] Lt.
> > > [_] Gen.
> > > [_] Comrade
> > > [_] Classified
> > > [_] Other
> > >
> > > First Name:
> > > ............................................
> > >
> > > Initial: ........
> > >
> > > Last Name:
> > > ..............................................
> > >
> > > Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
> > >
> > > Code Name:
> > > ..............................................
> > >
> > > Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
> > >
> > > 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
> > > [_] F-14 Tomcat
> > > [_] F-15 Eagle
> > > [_] F-16 Falcon
> > > [_] F-117A Stealth
> > > [_] Classified
> > >
> > > 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
> > > ......../......./......
> > >
> > > 4. Serial Number:
> > > ........................................
> > >
> > > 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
> > > [_] Received as gift / aid package
> > > [_] Catalogue / showroom
> > > [_] Independent arms broker
> > > [_] Mail order
> > > [_] Discount store
> > > [_] Government surplus
> > > [_] Classified
> > >
> > > 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
> > > McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
> > > [_] Heard loud noise, looked up
> > > [_] Store display
> > > [_] Espionage
> > > [_] Recommended by friend / relative / ally
> > > [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer
> > > [_] Was attacked by one
> > >
> > > 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
> > > influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
> > > Douglas product:
> > > [_] Style / appearance
> > > [_] Speed / maneuverability
> > > [_] Price / value
> > > [_] Comfort / convenience
> > > [_] Kickback / bribe
> > > [_] Recommended by salesperson
> > > [_] McDonnell Douglas reputation
> > > [_] Advanced Weapons Systems
> > > [_] Backroom politics
> > > [_] Negative experience opposing one in combat
> > >
> > > 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this product
> > > will be used:
> > > [_] North America
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Aircraft carrier
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Europe
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Middle East (not Iraq)
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Africa
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Asia / Far East
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Misc. Third World countries
> > > [_] Iraq
> > > [_] Classified
> > > [_] Iraq
> > >
> > > 9. Please indicate the products that you currently own
> > > or intend to purchase in the near future:
> > > [_] Color TV
> > > [_] VCR
> > > [_] ICBM
> > > [_] Killer Satellite
> > > [_] CD Player
> > > [_] Air-to-Air Missiles
> > > [_] Space Shuttle
> > > [_] Home Computer
> > > [_] Nuclear Weapon
> > >
> > > 10. How would you describe yourself or your
> > > organization? (Indicate all that apply:)
> > > [_] Communist / Socialist
> > > [_] Terrorist
> > > [_] Crazed
> > > [_] Neutral
> > > [_] Democratic
> > > [_] Dictatorship
> > > [_] Corrupt
> > > [_] Primitive / Tribal
> > >
> > > 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
> > > product?
> > > [_] Deficit spending
> > > [_] Cash
> > > [_] Suitcases of cocaine
> > > [_] Oil revenues
> > > [_] Personal check
> > > [_] Credit card
> > > [_] Ransom money
> > > [_] Traveler's check
> > >
> > > 12. Your occupation:
> > > [_] Homemaker
> > > [_] Sales / marketing
> > > [_] Revolutionary
> > > [_] Clerical
> > > [_] Mercenary
> > > [_] Tyrant
> > > [_] Middle management
> > > [_] Eccentric billionaire
> > > [_] Defense Minister / General
> > > [_] Retired
> > > [_] Student
> > >
> > > 13. To help us better understand our customers, please
> > > indicate the interests and activities in which you and
> > > your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
> > > [_] Golf
> > > [_] Boating / sailing
> > > [_] Sabotage
> > > [_] Running / jogging
> > > [_] Propaganda / misinformation
> > > [_] Destabilization / overthrow
> > > [_] Default on loans
> > > [_] Gardening
> > > [_] Crafts
> > > [_] Black market / smuggling
> > > [_] Collectibles / collections
> > > [_] Watching sports on TV
> > > [_] Wines
> > > [_] Interrogation / torture
> > > [_] Household pets
> > > [_] Crushing rebellions
> > > [_] Espionage / reconnaissance
> > > [_] Fashion clothing
> > > [_] Border disputes
> > > [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
> > >
> > > Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
> > > questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market
> > > studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
> > > better in the future - as well as allowing you to
> > > receive mailings and special offers from other
> > > companies, governments, extremist groups and
> > > mysterious consortia.
> > >
> > > As a bonus for responding to this survey, you will be
> > > registered to win a brand new F-117A in our Desert
> > > Thunder Sweepstakes!
> > >
> > > Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
> > > Please write to:
> > > McDonnell DOUGLAS CORPORATION
> > > Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
> > >
> > > IMPORTANT:
> > > This email is intended for the use of the individual
> > > addressee(s) named above and may contain information
> > > that is confidential privileged or unsuitable for
> > > overly sensitive persons with low self-esteem, no
> > > sense of humor, or irrational religious beliefs. If
> > > you are not the intended recipient, any dissemination,
> > > distribution or copying of this email is not
> > > authorized (either explicitly or implicitly) and
> > > constitutes an irritating social faux pas. Unless the
> > > word absquatulation has been used in its correct
> > > context somewhere other than in this warning, it does
> > > not have any legal or grammatical use and may be
> > > ignored. No animals were harmed in the transmission of
> > > this email, although the pit bull next door is living
> > > on borrowed time, let me tell you. Those of you with
> > > an overwhelming fear of the unknown will be gratified
> > > to learn that there is no hidden message revealed by
> > > reading this warning backwards, so just ignore that
> > > Alert Notice from Microsoft. However, pouring a
> > > complete circle of salt around yourself and your
> > > Computer you can ensure that no harm befalls you and
> > > your pets.If you have received this email in error,
> > > please add some nutmeg and egg whites, whisk and place
> > > in a warm oven for 40 minutes. Sure, you can TRUST the
> > > Government. Ask any Indian.
> > >