Zero_Zulu
04-11-2003, 12:26
"President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and
that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy,
they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and
fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida."
Jay Leno
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN
to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the
approval of the American voters to become president, either."
David Letterman
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of
mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading
Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."
Jon Stewart
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of
Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine,
supplies, housing, education - anything that's needed. Isn't that
amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda - and it's for
Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out."
Jay Leno
"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into
three parts ... regular, premium and unleaded."
Jay Leno
"Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the
weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president
in history. First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he declares war."
Jay Leno
"In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President
Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since
English is a second language to both of them."
Jay Leno
"Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war
with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that,
President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio."
Jay Leno
that democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy,
they can have a good health care plan, and they can have a free and
fair voting. Iraq? We can't even get this in Florida."
Jay Leno
"President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN
to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the
approval of the American voters to become president, either."
David Letterman
"We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of
mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading
Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea."
Jon Stewart
"In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of
Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine,
supplies, housing, education - anything that's needed. Isn't that
amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda - and it's for
Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out."
Jay Leno
"CNN said that after the war, there is a plan to divide Iraq into
three parts ... regular, premium and unleaded."
Jay Leno
"Iraq began destroying those missiles they don't have over the
weekend. See, President Bush may be the smartest military president
in history. First, he gets Iraq to destroy all of their own weapons. Then he declares war."
Jay Leno
"In an interview with Dan Rather, Saddam has challenged President
Bush to a live, televised debate. I think this would be fair, since
English is a second language to both of them."
Jay Leno
"Some Democrats say the estimated $60 billion dollar cost of a war
with Iraq could be better spent at home. When he heard that,
President Bush agreed and announced plans to bomb Ohio."
Jay Leno