scooterbear
06-27-2003, 14:27
WHY GOD CREATED CHILDREN
>
> To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
> grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make
you
> chuckle.
>
> Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
> thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
> After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
> thing he said was "DON'T!"
>
> "Don't what?" Adam replied.
>
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
>
> "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have
> forbidden fruit!!!!!"
>
> "No Way!"
>
> "Yes, way!"
>
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
>
> "Why"
>
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
> hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God
>
> saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
>
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
>
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
>
> "Then why did you?" said the Father.
>
> "I don't know," said Eve
>
> "She started it!" Adam said
>
> "Did not!"
>
> "Did too!"
>
> "DID NOT!"
>
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
> should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never
> changed.
>
> BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
>
> If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they
>
> haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
> children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
>
> THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
>
> 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
>
> talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
>
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
>
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
> word what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
> that there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
>
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
> home.
>
> AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
> DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
>
> "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"
>
> To those of us who have children in our lives, whether they are our own,
> grandchildren, nieces, nephews, or students...here is something to make
you
> chuckle.
>
> Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the
> thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His own children.
> After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. And the first
> thing he said was "DON'T!"
>
> "Don't what?" Adam replied.
>
> "Don't eat the forbidden fruit." God said.
>
> "Forbidden fruit? We have forbidden fruit? Hey Eve...we have
> forbidden fruit!!!!!"
>
> "No Way!"
>
> "Yes, way!"
>
> "Do NOT eat the fruit!" said God.
>
> "Why"
>
> "Because I am your Father and I said so!" God replied, wondering why He
> hadn't stopped creation after making the elephants. A few minutes later,
God
>
> saw His children having an apple break and He was ticked!
>
> "Didn't I tell you not to eat the fruit?" God asked.
>
> "Uh huh," Adam replied.
>
>
> "Then why did you?" said the Father.
>
> "I don't know," said Eve
>
> "She started it!" Adam said
>
> "Did not!"
>
> "Did too!"
>
> "DID NOT!"
>
> Having had it with the two of them, God's punishment was that Adam and Eve
> should have children of their own. Thus the pattern was set and it has
never
> changed.
>
> BUT THERE IS REASSURANCE IN THE STORY!
>
> If you have persistently and lovingly tried to give children wisdom and
they
>
> haven't taken it, don't be hard on yourself. If God had trouble raising
> children, what makes you think it would be a piece of cake for you?
>
> THINGS TO THINK ABOUT!
>
> 1. You spend the first two years of their life teaching them to walk and
>
> talk. Then you spend the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut
up.
>
> 2. Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your own children.
>
> 3. Mothers of teens now know why some animals eat their young.
>
> 4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for
> word what you shouldn't have said.
>
> 5. The main purpose of holding children's parties is to remind yourself
> that there are children more awful than your own.
>
> 6. We child proofed our homes, but they are still getting in.
>
> ADVICE FOR THE DAY: Be nice to your kids. They will choose your nursing
> home.
>
> AND FINALLY: IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
> DO WHAT IT SAYS ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:
>
> "TAKE TWO ASPIRIN" AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"