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okie
09-18-2003, 16:50
FOOTBALL SEASON IS HERE -- BONE UP ON YOUR KNOWLEDGE WITH THIS STIMULATING QUESTIONNAIRE.


(1) What does the average Mississippi State player get on his SATs?
Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 Arkansas cheerleaders in one room?
A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get an LSU cheerleader into your dorm room?
Grease her hips and push like fury.

(4) How do you get a Georgia graduate off your porch?
Pay him for the pizza.

(5) Why do the Auburn cheerleaders wear bibs?
To keep the tobacco juice off their uniforms.

(6) Why is the Vandy football team like a possum?
Because they play dead at home, and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Florida football player's life?
His freshman year.

(8) How many Ole Miss freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?
None . .. .. That's a sophomore course at Mississippi.

(9) Where was O.J. headed in the white Bronco?
Lexington, Kentucky. He knew that the police would never look there for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash . . ...)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?
You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.