Canadian Confidence Cannot Be Shaken [Archive] - Glock Talk


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12-03-2003, 15:12
Only Newfoundlanders !!

Osama Bin Laden was sitting in his cave wondering which country to

invade next, when his telephone rang. "Hallo, Mr. Laden" a heavily

accented voice said. "This is Archie, down 'ere at the Harp Seal Pub in

Badger's Cove, Newfoundland, Canada ey? I am callin' to tells ya dat we

are officially declaring war on you ey!"

"Well Archie," Osama replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is

your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moment's calculation, "there is

myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbor Mick, and the whole dart

team from the pub.That makes eight!"

Osama paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my

army waiting to move on my command."

"Holy jeez," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Laden, the war is

still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Archie?", Osama asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor."

Osama sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and

14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one

and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lard T'underin' Jaysus, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to


Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "Mr. Laden, the war is

still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified

Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four

byes from the Legion have joined us as well!"

Osama was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you

Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military

complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And

since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie, "I'll have ta call youse back."

Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "Mr. Laden! I am sorry to

have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Osama. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long

chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can

feed two million prisoners."