Bears [Archive] - Glock Talk


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lethal tupperwa
12-06-2003, 09:02
A Catholic priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as
chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They
would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.
One day,
someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A
challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they
decided to
do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a
bear and preach to it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the

Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has
various bandages, goes first. "Welllll," he says, in a fine Irish brogue,
"Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him, Ey
began to rread to him from the Baltimore Catechism. Welll, thet bearr
wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed
me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The
bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both
legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he
proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle... WE DUNK!
I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's
space the HOOOOULY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY
NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOULD of him and we began
to wrassle. We wrassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we
come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus
like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in
fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOULY word."

They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was
in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of
The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! The preaching was easy, but the bear did
get a bit touchy about the circumcision