The Pontificator
01-27-2004, 11:32
Mafia Valentine Greetings
My love for you...
it came and went.
so your feet are now
in wet cement.
I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes-
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.
Come to me-
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.
I've waited so long
for you to be mine!
Now that Sinatra's dead,
be *my* Valentine.
Be my Valentine...
or else...
Cinderella got her fella,
with a slipper made of glass.
So please be mine, Valentine,
or I'll have to whack your ass.
Violets are blue,
roses are red.
I blew up your car-
So why ain't you dead?
The day we met, my little pet,
I knew with just one look,
You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
So shut your mouth and cook!
Hey, how you doin'?
Youse da greatest.
Youse da best.
But you're untouchable
Like Elliot Ness.
Lust is fleeting,
True love lingers.
Be mine always
And you'll keep your fingers.
Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
dis ain't really what a guy's heart
looks like.
Valentine, dear,
I'm a luck fella,
you're even better
than mozzarella!
...and the Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day Greeting...
(to the tune of "That's Amore")
When a goon makes you die,
cuz you told him goodbye
-- that's amore!
My love for you...
it came and went.
so your feet are now
in wet cement.
I'm here to fulfill
your fondest wishes-
Now that your husband
sleeps with the fishes.
Come to me-
It's my final offa,
Or you'll be lying
wit' Jimmy Hoffa.
I picked up this card
from a slim selection,
But that's all they offer
in witness protection.
I've waited so long
for you to be mine!
Now that Sinatra's dead,
be *my* Valentine.
Be my Valentine...
or else...
Cinderella got her fella,
with a slipper made of glass.
So please be mine, Valentine,
or I'll have to whack your ass.
Violets are blue,
roses are red.
I blew up your car-
So why ain't you dead?
The day we met, my little pet,
I knew with just one look,
You'd bear a son, and now that's done,
So shut your mouth and cook!
Hey, how you doin'?
Youse da greatest.
Youse da best.
But you're untouchable
Like Elliot Ness.
Lust is fleeting,
True love lingers.
Be mine always
And you'll keep your fingers.
Hope da chocolates is good, but y'know,
dis ain't really what a guy's heart
looks like.
Valentine, dear,
I'm a luck fella,
you're even better
than mozzarella!
...and the Number 1 Mafia Valentine's Day Greeting...
(to the tune of "That's Amore")
When a goon makes you die,
cuz you told him goodbye
-- that's amore!