What foods cause you to become, uh, err..."Vesuvian"? [Archive] - Glock Talk

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The Pontificator
02-11-2004, 21:12
Wheat Chex causes unbelievable gas, as does cabbage (or any other cruciferous veggie).

Bean soup? Watch out!

Sausage biscuits for breakfast? Air biscuits later in the morning.

;f

hy5z
02-11-2004, 21:19
Originally posted by The Pontificator


Sausage biscuits for breakfast? Air biscuits later in the morning.

;f

These give me more of a pyroclastic flow.

lwt210
02-12-2004, 17:00
I have found that mixing certain dishes is the most fun.

For some reason, a nice bag of popcorn followed by a steaming bowl of beefy chili (mine has pinto beans, light and dark kidney beans) a beer or two followed with ANY kind of ice cream gets things outright crass an hour or two later.

Rats eating refuse at the city dump would look at each other and protest my presence once this combination worked it's magic on me.

What kind of sicko are you starting some kind of thread like this?;f

The Pontificator
02-12-2004, 18:44
Back in the days when Block's Bagels in Columbus, OH still had one location (the original on Kellner and Broad) I went down there one morning and bought a whole bag of sesame seed-encrusted bread sticks. Warm, with cream cheese, I managed to polish off that bag by mid-morning.

BIG MISTAKE!

By about mid-afternoon, I felt uncomfortable and bloated. Then the gas started. THUNDEROUS. Every 30 seconds thunderous. I hobbled to the nearest pharmacy and bought a package of Gas-X and ate the entire package. ;f

Damn sesame seeds. :(

dougmc
02-13-2004, 14:04
Here's a "old wives secret" passed on to me by my mother. When cooking a pot of beans throw in a whole carrott. As the beans cook the carrott will absorb the "gas" out of the beans. Somebody comeing to dinner you don't like? If they eat the carrott they will experience intense gas. Does it work?? I haven't eaten the carrott.

The Pontificator
02-13-2004, 14:19
Originally posted by dougmc
Here's a "old wives secret" passed on to me by my mother. When cooking a pot of beans throw in a whole carrott. As the beans cook the carrott will absorb the "gas" out of the beans. Somebody comeing to dinner you don't like? If they eat the carrott they will experience intense gas. Does it work?? I haven't eaten the carrott.

GIVE_THE_CARROT_TO_ME

;f ;f ;f

dougmc
02-13-2004, 15:32
You want the carrot? You can't handel the carrot!

Eddie C.
02-13-2004, 15:37
Originally posted by dougmc
You want the carrot? You can't handel the carrot!



From what I hear, Alex always gets the carrot!;)

The Pontificator
02-14-2004, 12:55
Valentine's Day lunch:

Polska Kielbasa with German sauerkraut, potatoes, cabbage, and apples.

Those romantic violins should be kicking in around 6pm, LOL

hidden_19
02-15-2004, 23:06
Taco Bell hands down.

Mcdonalds a strong second.

fnfalman
02-16-2004, 18:49
Eating green apples with salt and then drink a bunch of water. Blow out? You ain't seen nuthin' yet!

okie
02-17-2004, 02:30
Beans and eggs and garlic are the trick for me;P

Roro
02-17-2004, 10:36
Well after being on Atkins for a while...

Anything with carbs...

Pasta? Look out... Pintos? I will peel the chrome off of a trailer hitch...

The worst yet has been soda (any kind) and bread...

CaptDoug04
02-18-2004, 15:26
Bell peppers are the main offender that makes me OFFEND! ;f I perform after eating the usual fare, but the peppers just kill me (and those downwind);P


Oh, and White Castle's cause some 'stinky air';f

Alex_Knight
02-18-2004, 17:49
There's nothing worse then brocolli farts.

W Turner
02-23-2004, 17:01
Beer........

While I was in college and developing my palate for cheap beer, I quickly realized that large amounts of beer at night resulteed in gastrointestinal pyrotechnics the next morning. As a matter of fact, even now if things need to get moving I will drink a coupla Bud Lights and like clockwork, everything starts the next morning.


Bull

Buzzsaw
02-24-2004, 00:38
Spaghetti MRE's give me the worst gas I have ever had.

mudfootball
02-24-2004, 23:27
TWO words for me LACTOSE INTOLERANT!
kt

proactive
03-01-2004, 11:02
Spaghetti MRE's give me the worst gas I have ever had

What he said. How 'bout extended stays in the woods w/ just MRE's...and the accompanying rectal "alarm clock" waking you up.

Tol
03-05-2004, 12:24
My old lady has been on me to eat more green vegetables. I was at the store and got about 5 lbs of raw string beans. For some reason I love the things and will eat them like no tomorrow. I was sitting around puttering with something last sunday morning (pissed that there was no race) and before I knew it I'd eaten about 3 lbs of them. She was quite pleased at my "attempt to eat healthier snacks" until the artillery started coming in.

She and the dog lay in a foxhole muttering some stuff I couldn't hear over the concussion. They were coming in about every 30 seconds and damaging furniture. I blew out windows in the next county. She said that I rolled the neighbors tractor trailer but I think that's a little much. The funny part is that there was no smell of any kind. About an hour into this 3 hour barrage, the dog starts in with the "silent but deadly" gas attack. She's trying to clean, I'm trying to help but getting shooed. The dog thinks the vacuum cleaner is the enemy. The dog and I are changing our shorts every 10 minutes and both think the whole thing is a great game. It all ended when she caught me trying to teach the dog to sit when I ripped one. Almost had it too.

That's why I spent sunday afternoon banished to the basement with the dog, soldering things that didn't need to be soldered.

knuckle dragger
03-05-2004, 12:34
Pickled egg boiled cabbage and linburger cheese burritos all washed down with a luke warm Hamms beer...will make one become a WMD!!

CaptDoug04
03-07-2004, 15:57
Originally posted by knuckle dragger
Pickled egg boiled cabbage and linburger cheese burritos all washed down with a luke warm Hamms beer...will make one become a WMD!!


;P ^4 ;9 ;0 ^3

The Pontificator
03-07-2004, 23:34
This afternoon I went to a cookout.

Hot dogs with chili and slaw, potato chips, brownies.

seven hours later I've got gas that would gag a maggot.

;0

Eddie C.
03-08-2004, 07:16
Ponti---->http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/contrib/legionxs/fart.gif<----His Wife







;f ;f ;f

nickg
03-08-2004, 13:49
"What foods cause you to become, uh, err..."Vesuvian"?"

anything called food!! ;f ;f

nickg
03-08-2004, 13:50
Originally posted by knuckle dragger
Pickled egg boiled cabbage and linburger cheese burritos all washed down with a luke warm Hamms beer...will make one become a WMD!!

OH the frikkin' humanity!!!! ;f ;f

Eddie C.
03-08-2004, 14:17
Speaking of limburger cheese:
My mother used to tell me about my grandmother and how one of her favorite sandwiches was limburger cheese. She used to work in a local factory from the 1940's until the 1960's. Whenever she brought that lunch in, no one would eat near her. Those sandwiches reeked.;i