Top this for stupid ! ! ! [Archive] - Glock Talk


View Full Version : Top this for stupid ! ! !

03-20-2004, 18:19
(Keep in mind I was only about 24 years old, and I was really immature back then!!!)

'Twas a BEAUTIFUL spring day, not unlike today, at Truckee-Tahoe (TRK). It was a Saturday, about 1100, and the ramp was teeming with people and airplanes, coming and going. At that time, the CTAF (then UNICOM) frequency was broadcast over loudspeakers which could be heard across the entire ramp.

I land and roll out in a gorgeous rented RAM T310R (which I miss flying so much, I cry when I dwell on it). Anyway, the day is perfect, the landing was perfect (it was OK) and I'm announcing clear of the active runway. Upon completion of that announcement, I notice that the PTT button in my yoke is still depressed...

So while I'm still taxiing along, I'm prying and pulling and squeezing that miserable little button to make it pop back out. Finally, I decided talking to it would help. I shouted at the little plastic button: "Why YOU M(ike) F(oxtrot)!!", thus flooding the entire airport population with a miniature episode of The Sopranos.

The chill up and down my spine was instantaneous as I slapped the avionics master, taxied as far away from anyone else as the asphalt would allow, shut down and slithered into the bushes.

I don't know when it was they took down the P.A.system.

O.K. Who's going next????


03-20-2004, 18:34
I got married!

03-20-2004, 18:41
;Q What can I say? Just lucky, I guess! ;)

03-20-2004, 18:47
C'mon!!! Both of you are just chickens!!! Let it out, you'll feel better!!!

;f ;f

03-20-2004, 20:36
;Q Does it have to be about flying? ;g

03-20-2004, 21:30
Back in 76 I was OIC of an Army helicopter support team flying flood disaster support in Colorado for the Big Thompson flood. One day the Governor of Colorado flew up into the canyon with an entourage of reporters & straphangers for a news conference. The first Huey in the flight that flew these folks into the canyon was an COARNG Huey with the Governor on board. The second Huey was one of mine with an Active Army crew with a Warrant Officer in charge. I was flying an OH-58 on other tasks in the area at the time. The Governor held his press conference in the disaster area while his Huey flew back to our FAARP to refuel. Apparently the event went faster than expected, so the Governor did what Governors do, moved forcefully to the first aircraft in line, which was one of mine. Our fearless CW3 PIC cranks up when all the seats are full and starts the flight out of the canyon. About that time the COARNG Huey is on the way back to the LZ to pick up the Governor. The pilot from the ARNG Huey calls our fearless PIC & asks if the Governor is on board. Our fearless PIC pointedly looks in the back at the Governor (who is wearing a headset listening to the radio traffic) and asks "I dont know what does the SOB look like". Believe it or not, I never heard a single word of criticism over that. Tim

M2 Carbine
03-20-2004, 23:26
If we're going to tell the stupid stuff we've done I could be here all night.

Since there may have been a rule or two broken, let's say this happened to a friend of mine.;)

About 1967.
Mineral Wells, TX.
On my instructing moonlighting job.

The boss wants me to fly a Piper Comanche from Meacham Field, Ft Worth to Mineral Wells. About 20 minutes.
I've never even sat in a Comanche.
No retract time either.

A guy is flying East and is going to drop me off at Meacham and give me a quick trip around the pattern in the Comanche.
The guy is running late, so no trip around the pattern.
The check out was me asking 4 or 5 questions, like what A/S on final and how do you get the gear down.

On takeoff from Meacham I have to immediately turn across Carswell Air Force Base.
Now, the mike cord is tangled around the holder and I've got to duck down everytime I want to talk. Interesting first takeoff.

Well, I got the gear up, got across Carswell without being shot down and even untangled the mike cord before I got to Mineral Wells.

If I do say myself the landing was pretty good.
I even put the gear down.:cool:

Now I'm going to pick up one of my FW students and another pilot, that I don't know, and take the Comanche to Jacksboro Airport.

Taxing out I ask the other pilot if he has any Comanche time.
He said about an hour.
I said, Well I don't have much Comanche time, so if you see me doing something wrong feel free to speak up.
He said, How much time do you have?
I said, Including this flight?
He said, Ya.
I said, Well, including this flight, I've got twenty minutes.;e

The look on his face.;P

My student calls from the back seat,
Isn't there a regulation about so many takeoffs before carrying passengers?

I asked him if he would like to walk to Jacksboro.

Two good landings in a row. ;f

03-20-2004, 23:56
A Navy pilot lands his TA-4J at a USAF base. He is in a hurry and yells to the young airman, "Fill it up!" as he goes into operations to file the flight plan.

The airman fills it up, including the centerline baggage pod which contained all of the pilot's clothes.

M2 Carbine
03-21-2004, 00:37
I was instructing a friend (helicopter instuctor) flying a C150 doing some air work for his FW rating.
We're about 2,000 feet and I'm just kicked back watching him.
He says, Give me a forced landing.
I pull the throttle and say, Forced landing.
He says, No, Butt Head, when I'm not expecting it.
As he tops out a Chandell I turned the mags off and the prop stops.

Talk about a bad attitude. He said some rather rude things to me.
He even threatened to end my life if the crash didn't do it.

I told him,
More flying, less talk.
There's a Stage Field below us (2,000 foot runway)
You wanted a forced landing, you got it, there's no pleasing you.:)

I'm glad he made it, so he didn't have to kill me.;f

03-21-2004, 14:59

I do not think that shutting down an engine to cause a forced landing is a good idea no matter the attitude of the student. In fact I feel that it is very wrong and dangerous.

I have done practice forced landing with the engine shut down and prop stopped in a J3 Cub and Cessna 180. All of these maneuvers were done over a grass field with no traffic in the area. These were not instructional flights, but were done with very experienced pilots and the maneuver was briefed.

It is very difficult to stop the prop in flight. The aircraft must be put in a very nose high/low airspeed attitude. It is also very difficult to get the prop windmilling again once it is stopped if the engine must be restarted. Takes a lot of altitude to get the airspeed up to turn the prop to restart if necessary(in the J3 as ther is no starter). There is very little if any margine for error if the landing is misjudged.

I realize that this thread is about mistakes that we have all made in the past. I have certainly made my share, but I hope that no one else will think of this as a way to humble an arrogant student.

03-21-2004, 16:12
Originally posted by FB3

I do not think that shutting down an engine to cause a forced landing is a good idea no matter the attitude of the student. In fact I feel that it is very wrong and dangerous.

Yep. Sure is. So is flying in general. We all do stupid things when flying, some of them we post on the internet. Anyone get hurt? No? Okay then. Spin training during primary was deemed to be a Bad Idea awhile back. Wish I had some before I spun that one time. Fortunately I was able to recover anyway.

I would gather that most people here would be able to figure out that shutting down an [the] engine is something we'd rather not deal with in training. However engines do shut down training or no, and it's a Real Bad Thing when it does. Being able to recover from that is A Good Thing.

Anyway, my only stupid thing I've done other than going out on that one gusty day I had no business going out would be on my checkride. I seem to have forgotten to switch the transponder from standby. Didn't realize it until long into the flight as we were doing a practice approach to a tower controlled airfield (without the landing.) The controller mentioned she couldn't hear me too well, and as I adjusted the radio I noticed the transponder switch. Oops. With a quick deft movement I switched it back to altitude encoding (no doubt causing some info to suddenly appear on whoever's radar screen that might have been tracking us.) No word from the examiner, and we continued on.

He passed me.

03-21-2004, 16:24
Randolph AFB, 1974
A foriegn flight student, gets a favor from a kindly crew chief.
The crew chief allows the student to saddle up in a T38 Talon in the hanger, since it's rainin' like hell outside.
The student reaches under the Martin-Baker seat, and pulls BOTH safety pins.
The student experienced rapid deceleration complex against the roof and beams of the hangar, and generally made a real mess for the medics.

Same base, same yr....
MG Robert B Simmler saddles up in another T-38 Talon, following a change of command ceremony, to PCS to Scott AFB Ill.
The General had a rated instructor in the other seat, but demanded control on take off.
He then attempted a right aileron roll, as soon as the gear locked up, at about 150-200 ft altitude.
The aircraft dipped, dragged the right wing, and exploded down the runway.
The general widowed 2 women and orphaned 3 or 4 kids that day.
I watched in horror from the 5th tee of the base golf course as we heard the crash and saw the fireball.

M2 Carbine
03-21-2004, 17:27
Originally posted by FB3
I realize that this thread is about mistakes that we have all made in the past. I have certainly made my share, but I hope that no one else will think of this as a way to humble an arrogant student.

You're right, but it is one way to humble a smart ass friend.;f

We were instructors in the same helicopter flight.
It gave him something to talk about for a few days.

But actually I wasn't trying to humble him (maybe just a little), I wanted to show him a FW emergency was no different than the many helicopter emergencies we taught every day.

I also wanted to show him a technique where you drop full flaps and dive at a point a couple hundred feet short of your intended touch down point. With full flaps the C150 A/S will not build excessively and you will hit your touchdown spot every time.

I was also instructing one of the other helicopter instructors in my flight
I soloed him in the C150 in 45 minutes.
I could have got out in 30 minutes.
I didn't even have to demonstrate a take off. I just told him the difference between a FW takeoff and a helicopter running takeoff.

I then told him the difference between a FW landing and helicopter running landing.
He wanted to see one of those though.:)

I've air started my Aeronca 11AC. 10mph over VNE to get the metal prop turning.

03-31-2004, 20:59
one of the dumb things i did when i used to fly. ran out of gas 5 miles from the airport in a J-3 across the river from baton rouge. landed downwind on river road and careened into a fence. lesson learned

M2 Carbine
04-01-2004, 00:13
Another one of my smarter moves.

The Bell 206B controls are hydraulically boosted.
When you lose hydraulics it's not a big emergency but it does take some effort to fly the machine, especially the last part of the approach and the landing from a hover.
The proper procedure is to make a running landing but the heliports are far too small for that, so we terminated to a hover, where control was the most difficult.

It's hard to describe the feel of the controls with hydraulics out but besides the controls being very hard to move, it feels like the cyclic control (stick) is 180 degrees out. Like you are trying to play catch up with the helicopter, especially at a hover.
So you don't want to mess around. You get the thing on the ground as fast as possible.

As I was about 150 feet out on an approach to a very small barge heliport, I lost hydraulics.
The barge was on the Sabine River, (Texas) and I was dropping a couple passengers off.
The landing was uneventful.

The barge was right next door to my base. So the mechanics could have repaired the helicopter that night, where it sat.

I decided to take off and fly the chopper over to the base.;Q
As I lifted off I thought, well you did it again. The bird was harder to control taking off than landing.

I made a big circle and approach to the base.
I could have and should have landed out in an open area but I was on a roll.
I chose to approach and land on the maintenance pad, which was sandwiched between the maintenance shack and house trailer.

When I came to a hover the helicopter was really dancing around and difficult to land.

Two mechanics were watching this display.
One came up as I was shutting down. I told him the hydraulics were out and this damned thing was trying to wipe out the buildings, I had a hell of a time getting it down.

The mechanic said, Oh, well that just looked like the way you always land.;f