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okie
08-31-2004, 01:17
If Men Planned Weddings:


1. There would be a "Rehearsal Kegger" rather than a "Rehearsal
Dinner."

2. Bridesmaids would wear matching blue jeans cutoffs and halter
tops. They would have NO tan lines.

3. Tuxes would have team logos on the back and the Nike shoes would
have matching team colors. (My fiance threatened to have his and his
brother's football numbers embroidered on their tuxes! I threatened
to walk out but he said I wouldn't see it until after we said our
vows so I'd be stuck then!)

4. June weddings would be scheduled around basketball play-offs

5. Vows would mention cooking and sex specifically, but omit that
"forsaking all others" part.

6. The couple would leave the ceremony in a souped up '73 Charger or
some other Mopar muscle car with racing tires and flame designs on
the side of the car. Better yet, a Harley!

7. Idiots who tried to dance with the bride (unless they were really
old) would get punched in the head.

8. Big, slobbery dogs would be eligible for the role of "Best Man."

9. There would be "Tailgate Receptions."

10. Outdoor weddings would be held during sporting events at
half-time or between innings.

11. Ceremonies would be short and honeymoons would be long.

12. Ceremonies and honeymoons would be inexpensive compared to the
cost of the bachelor party. (Those strippers and all that alcohol
sure add up!!!)

13. Men wouldn't ask, "Well, what do you think, dear? The burgundy
or the wine colored napkins?" They'd just grab extras from their
local pub or tavern.

14. Favors would be matchbooks and cigars. Better yet, free drink
passes at the local lounge.

15. The bride's dress would show cleavage, her navel, and be
form-fitted to her butt.

16. Instead of a sit-down dinner or a buffet, there would be a hog
roast or buckets of chicken, pizza and plenty of bar-b-que.

17. No one would bother with that "Veil Routine." But they would
insist that the garter be as high up on her leg as it could go.

18. The bridal bouquet would be recycled from a previous funeral or
something.

19. Invitations would read as follows: Tom (Dick or Harry) is
getting the ol' ball and chain. He's getting married.
He either:
A) knocked her up; B) couldn't get a different roommate; or C) caved
in to her ultimatum. Please meet the woman who will cook and clean
for him for the rest of his life at Texas Stadium On the 50 Yard Line
at half-time during Sunday's Game. Please join us at the Clubhouse
after the game For beer, nachos and pizza. Oh yeah, BYOB.

TheDVDMan
08-31-2004, 15:19
Originally posted by okie
(My fiance threatened to have his and his
brother's football numbers embroidered on their tuxes! I threatened
to walk out but he said I wouldn't see it until after we said our
vows so I'd be stuck then!)


So...you're marrying another GUY!?!







That copy & paste can get ya sometimes! ;f

vafish
08-31-2004, 20:36
Originally posted by TheDVDMan
So...you're marrying another GUY!?!







That copy & paste can get ya sometimes! ;f

You know what they say about Oklahoma.

Nothing there but steers and.......

Glocks&Ducs
08-31-2004, 21:20
Originally posted by TheDVDMan
So...you're marrying another GUY!?!

That copy & paste can get ya sometimes! ;f

Huh? can you let me in on your interpretation? This is mine.

Originally posted by okie
My fiance(I am a woman) threatened to have his and his
brother's football numbers embroidered on their tuxes! I threatened
to walk out but he said I wouldn't see it until after we said our
vows so I'd be stuck then!

OKIE posted it some woman wrote it. Why would a guy sit around and think this up? ;f