Puns [Archive] - Glock Talk

PDA

View Full Version : Puns


WERA49
09-01-2004, 23:09
On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon: "Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"

On a Septic Tank Truck sign: "We're #1 in the #2 business."

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

At a Proctologist's door: "To expedite your visit please back in."

On a Plumber's truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."

On a Plumber's truck: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.."

Pizza Shop Slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."

On a Plastic Surgeon's Office door: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"

At a Towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action"

On a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."

At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."

On a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."

At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet, miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."

In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Propane Filling Station, "Thank heaven for little grills."

And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."