Wifeology [Archive] - Glock Talk

PDA

View Full Version : Wifeology


okie
09-09-2004, 01:37
My wife dresses to kill. She also cooks the same way.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I asked her,
"Where's the car?" She replied, "In the lake."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't like to interrupt her.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got myself two girlfriends.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided
not to report it since the thief was spending much less than his wife did.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is finished.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost to get married? "The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Young Son! : Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of
Africa a Man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what
real happiness was until I got married; then it was too late.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man placed an ad in the classifieds: "Wife wanted."
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all
said the same : "You can have mine."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A woman was telling her friend, "I made my husband a
millionaire." "And what was he before you married him?"
asked the friend. "A billionaire." she replied.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's not true that married men live longer than single
men. It only seems longer.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Losing a wife can be very hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go
through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A man meets a genie. The genie tells him he can ask
for whatever he wants, but his mother-in-law gets double
of what he gets. The man thinks for a moment and says,"Okay,
give me a million dollars and beat me till I'm half dead."
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive