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New_comer
10-18-2004, 20:33
Went home from work last night, and discovered my 14 yr old son sporting a well defined bruise under the left eye: his first blackeye.

Knowing that the incident was caused by some stupid juvenile reason, I knew better not to dwell on that, but rather on how he carried himself in that fight. Ever since he was a toddler, I made him spar with my hand, doing combination punching, ducking and power release, just in case he needed to defend himself against bullies. That dreaded moment came to be...

To make a long story short, my son was partially hit by a first sucker punch, to which he responded with two: one in the gut and power punch at the right cheekbone, just like I trained him. His opponent came crashing down like a stack of cards. Like all juvenile fight stories, cooler heads prevailed.

Moral lessons: Be ready. No matter how much of a pacifist one is, a day of reckoning always comes our way. What to do then is a function of how much preparation had been spent just for those perceived occassions. Fight or flight, take your pick on which is more appropriate. But one must be ready for the consequences of the subsequent action.

Though we were both scolded by my wife, me for being 'kunsintidor', & my son for engaging in a fight, I really didn't mind.

As far as I am concerned, my son is sporting not a blackeye, but a badge of manhood...

And I am proud! :cool:

horge
10-18-2004, 20:46
Hey, your son came out on top, and no one was seriously hurt.
Your wife has a point too, and I'm sure your son will take it.
Congrats!

For a minute though, I thought there was someone on BoG
that I could commiserate with: a little while ago I got
my 'first blackeye', courtesy of shooting while looking
too closely into a rifle scope.

Alexii
10-18-2004, 22:16
I accompanied my 5-year old son today for an interview at an all boys school. Felt nostalgic about letting the little tyke swim alone in the vast ocean.

We (me and my brothers) were always taught that when fight is imminent (other kid starts pushing, is this still the pre-fight SOP?!)-- to hit first and hit hard. Not a bad advice for schoolyard survival as I learned through the ensuing years.

With lethal confrontations, the pre-fight clue (and what determines his fate)is what the other guy is holding in his hands and/or the presence of multiple armed/unarmed adversaries.

9MX
10-18-2004, 23:46
Originally posted by Alexii
to hit first and hit hard.

korek!

New_comer
10-19-2004, 00:01
Originally posted by Alexii
I accompanied my 5-year old son today for an interview at an all boys school. Felt nostalgic about letting the little tyke swim alone in the vast ocean.

We (me and my brothers) were always taught that when fight is imminent (other kid starts pushing, is this still the pre-fight SOP?!)-- to hit first and hit hard. Not a bad advice for schoolyard survival as I learned through the ensuing years.

During my time, it was the "I'll be waiting for you at the park/yard. Be there!" routine. The fight ends usually when blood is drawn, or when it was an obvious mismatch. Kibitzers, usually classmates egging on the combatants, arrive at the scene first. In a way, they also make sure that the fight is fair and almost always end up calling the fight over and made sure the combatants separate peacefully. I've dealt, and caught, my own share of facial makeovers during those 'gentlemanly' times... ;)

Nowadays, 14 year old kids bring guns and engage in a shootout with sons of politikos just to settle an uncollected gambling debt. ;g

mikey177
10-19-2004, 01:25
I'm glad your son handled himself well, New_comer. You're not a "kunsintidor," just a realist who knows that the world can be a nasty place sometimes, which makes it necessary to be prepared for stuff like that. I'm with Alexii on discussing pre-attack indicators with our kids so they don't walk into sucker punches and such.

mikol
10-19-2004, 01:40
Originally posted by 9MX
korek!


at sabayan muna ng takbo baka makaganti pa!;z ;a ;f ;)

bass one
10-19-2004, 02:48
Yup! This early I play rough with my 3 yr old son (no, he doesn't get hurt!). He loves to play swordfights, boxing and kicking. I teach him in a way of a game how to throw punches and kicks and how to use a sword (stick). I do this to develop his interest in the martial arts/self-defense and when he turns 5, I'll make sure he gets his martial arts training started (probably start with wushu). Don't get me wrong! I'm not developing him to be a gangster or bully. After playing I always give him advice and tell him not to play that way with his friends or anybody else - only with his tatay. And he obeys!

chipglock
10-19-2004, 02:50
Good training for your son sir! :)
It doesnt matter who throws the first punch, what matters is who finishes the fight. A motto I live by hehehe :)

Alexii
10-19-2004, 06:52
New_comer: Keep us up to date as to what will happen with your son's situation in school. Will you, as the father, be summoned? I don't know how the school systems do it these days.

It'd be so interesting to discuss pre-emptive strikes and sucker punches with the school principal. ;f

New_comer
10-19-2004, 07:42
New_comer: Keep us up to date as to what will happen with your son's situation in school. Will you, as the father, be summoned? I don't know how the school systems do it these days.

It'd be so interesting to discuss pre-emptive strikes and sucker punches with the school principal.

As for the repercussion/accountability of my son and his counterpart on this 'infraction'? Wala lang: I coached him to tell they accidentally bumped heads (kuno ;)).

The 'fight' never happened. It would be very surprising (and stupid) for the other party to admit involvement in a fight on schoolgrounds. The penalty is obvious: expulsion for both ;P

Just to be sure, I checked with my son on the situation a while ago, if indeed bigger trouble is brewing. He reported that all is fine now, balik barkada na naman sila ;P. Bruised faces and pride to both, but I sensed a stronger friendship ensued.

A lesson in life learned the hard way. Even for me, this has also been a good parenting experience. :cool:
:)

Valor1
10-19-2004, 08:18
I like it when you follow, "Always cheat and always win" in a fight. All fights will always be fair on the winner's point of view. If you will get into a fight, be sure to always win no matter what the cost. These are the very things I thought my only daughter. Her first fight was when she was seven years young when a bully in a McDonald's outlet wouldn't let her play and tried to bully some more with the rest of his gang. Result? My daughter placed a truly powerful closed fist on the bully's face. It's quite a knockout. I just pretended that I never saw the whole thing. Luckily, the kid's parents just scolded the bully and went home.

Next fight is with a male classmate trying to steal her lunch and making a tease out of it. Result? My daughter gave her a good roundhouse on the stomach. Fight ended. My daughter even told the teacher what happened. I was spared from the Principal's office and nobody tried to make jokes of her.

I'm not into getting into fights. But I told my kid, if she were going into it and there no other options, give them hell. She's 11 years now and likes big pistols too. Now I feel safer.:)

julianz
10-19-2004, 08:18
These are my words to my son and daugther "wag kang maguumpisa , pag talagang makulit at sinasaktan ka .. alamin mo muna kung may dala or may kasama, kung malake sayo tirahin mo sa leeg at mag report ka sa teachers. Di baleng umuwe sa bahay ng may black eye na lumaban kesa umuwe ng luhaan at masama ang loob."

I dont think your kunsintidor New Comer..if im on your shoe the first question for me to ask my son is ILAN ANG TAMA NG KALABAN mo..sino nagumpisa ..then dehado kaba..What happen , how did it all started..

TARA BALIKAN NATIN...;f ;f

seriously wala namang di pwede pag-usapan, we all went through this kinds and sorts of situation when we were younger.

Both parties + the school personnel should sit ,talk things out and settle everything out before hell gets loose.(Ill be wearing my BOG's Shirt most likely at the meeting LOL)

Getting into a school fight sometimes unavoidable meron talagang Siga Siga..di nawawala yan..standing up againts them is the only way para madala at magtanda.

Ngayon kung di ma settle at unreasonable ang parents kabilang party
probabbly go to the Barangay hall level or even Municipal hall level.

darwin25
10-19-2004, 17:59
Here are the lessons my dad taught me:

1. No matter what you do, never come home crying.
2. Make sure I give the sucker at least 1 hit.
3. Hit the sucker where it hurts most. (Groin and throat)
4. Hit him with anything you can get your hands on.

and above all

5. NEVER EXPECT YOUR OPPONENT TO FIGHT FAIR. SO NEVER GIVE A FAIR FIGHT.

:cool:

one_eye_kirat
10-19-2004, 20:01
how about teaching your sons "SAYONACHI" short for sa'yo na chinelas ko. hehehehe...

seriously: New_comer have trained his son very well. It's better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6. :)