Ah, the Irish sense of humor and wit... [Archive] - Glock Talk

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The Pontificator
12-09-2004, 06:33
How can you possibly not love the Irish? Real
"Personal ads" in the Dublin News:

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Heavy drinker, 35, Cork area. Seeks gorgeous sex
addict interested in a man who loves his pints, cigarettes, Glasgow
Celtic Football Club and starting fights on Patrick Street at three
o'clock in the morning.

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Bitter, disillusioned Dublin man, lately rejected by
longtime fiancÚ, seeks decent, honest, reliable woman, if
such a thing still exists in this cruel world of hatchet-faced b****es.
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Ginger haired Galway man, a troublemaker, gets
slit-eyed and nasty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady for bail purposes, maybe more.

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Bad tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard, living in a
damp cottage in the arse end of Roscommon, seeks attractive 21 year old blonde lady, with a lovely chest.

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Limerick man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue
eyes, seeks alibi for the night of February 27 between 8 PM and 11:30 PM.

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Optimistic Mayo man, 35, seeks a blonde 20 year old
double-jointed supermodel, who owns her own brewery, and has an open-minded twin sister.