View Full Version : Trying to Help A Vet?
A friend of mine (for about 9 months) was hospitalize last week for prescription drug reactions. He spent 2 days in ICU and 5 days in the general ward. He thinks he was in a fire fight at his house and that there is now some cover-up to hide this.
He served in the US Army from 1967 to 2002 and was discharged as a Colonel. He was awarded the purple heart twice and suffers from a throat wound and a knee injury that may result in his leg being amputated. I have not verified his record but if he made this up he is a great liar.
The problem is that he refuses to seek mental help and tells we that it is none of my business and to stay out of it. I am a member of the VFW and also a very private person who always respects others privacy. I helped take care of his dog and other affairs during his hospital stay. I now fear for his own safety.
I talked to his Dr., the VFW, a private counseling service and a Vietnam service organization I think there is a good chance he will harm himself again.
Any ideas that might help?
Does he have family nearby? If so have you talked with them?
He has no family nearby. His mother is 85yrs old in ill health; he has one sister who he hates and she returns in kind.
He is now mad at me for wanting to get some sort of help and he told me to mind my own business.
I spent the winter of 59-60 in the old wooden barricks with coal heat at Ft Gordon, GA while attending electronics school in the US Army.
That's a tough call AKA. I understand your concern...yet I understand his privacy. Given the info thus far, I would continue to let this fellow know that I was concerned about him. Keep us informed. I've been to Ft. Gordon...many moons ago.
You sound like a good friend. Unfortunately, the adage, "You can lead a horse to water but can't make him drink" comes to mind. There are very few formal things that can be done for someone who doesn't want treatment. If his doctor isn't willing to pursue an involuntary commitment I am guessing his doc thinks he is stable enough to not warrant such. If you are reasonably sure he is an ACTIVE (immediate) threat to himself or others then contact your local mental health crisis line or 911. Otherwise the mental health/medical/judicial systems will not take any type of action. Connecting him to the VA might be the best thing you can do if he is not already utilizing their services. Best wishes...
I contacted our county social worker and she went by his house and did talk to him and felt there was little that we could do for him until he was ready for help.
I left an email message for him saying that I was here and willing to help/talk when he was ready.
Thanks for the ideas here.
Good luck, AKA. I commend you for trying. So many don't.
AKA You have done about all you can do.The only other thing I can suggest is to go talk to someone at the nearest VA facility, they just might be able to help,also as a Colonel he IS still subject to call up by the military if needed.
Just from what has been posted it sounds like he has Post Traumatic Stress Syndrone PTSD. It is a very real problem with someone who has gone thru a very stressful situation, with some people it does not show up right away. Someone thst has it doesn't even know it most of the time,untill something sets it off.
Mine came to light 5 years after I came back,Just being around the smell of diesel fuel brought it all back. I had nightmares, cold sweats, and flashbacks I went to the VA and they hooked me right up.
Good luck with him and thanks for caring.
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