Wife Tech Support [Archive] - Glock Talk

PDA

View Full Version : Wife Tech Support


Maelstrom
12-13-2004, 13:21
Pretty cute, sorry about all the > >:

Dear Tech Support:
> >
> >Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that
> >the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of
> >space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into
> >all other programs and now monitors all other system activity.
Applications
> >such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and
Racing
> >3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to
run
> >my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend
7.0,
> >but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
> >
> >Thanks,
> >A Troubled User. (KEEP READING)
> >______________________________________
> >
> >REPLY:
> >Dear Troubled User:
> >
> >This is a very common problem that men complain about.
> >
> >Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
> >just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
> >SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
> >impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
> >impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
> >installed.
> >
> >You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
> >allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under
> >Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and
work
> >on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background
application
> >"Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.
> >
> >The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
> >ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
> >will return to normal anyway.
> >
> >Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife
> >1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0,
Cook
> >It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.
> >
> >However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
> >cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,
the
> >only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional
> >software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !
> >
> >WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
> >Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
> >irreversible damage to the operating system.
> >
> >Best of luck,
> >Tech Support
>