In the year 2029 [Archive] - Glock Talk

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KY Moose
01-23-2005, 05:57
>The year is 2029 . . .
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>* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.
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>* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia (formerly known as California).
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>* White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.
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>* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.
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>* Constitutional Amendment passed that allows illegal aliens to run for U. S. President.
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>* Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.
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>* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.
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>* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the ATM (the American Territory of the Middle East, formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).
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>* Iraq still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
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>* France pleads for global help after being overtaken by Jamaica.
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>* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.
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>* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.
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>* 85-year, $75.8 billion study finds: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss!!!
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>* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.
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>* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.
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>* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.
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>* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.
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>* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.
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>* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.
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>* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.
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>* Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.
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>* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.
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>* Florida Democrats still don't know how to use a voting machine