Tell your funniest EMT story [Archive] - Glock Talk

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01-25-2005, 01:06
Its time to tell your funniest (clean, ready for prime time) EMT story.

I was sheeting the cot in the hallway of the trauma center while my partner was giving the Dr. a patient report. A woman, a relative of a patient, was standing near by. It was busy, lots of foot traffic in the hallway. The lady commented to me that it looked very busy. I glanced up and down the hallway and agreed it was a busy night. She said, and I quote; I can help, Ive been trained in CRP.

I politely turned her offer down explaining that she would need to be an employee of the hospital to work there and that I was sure they had everything under control. As I have thought about this incident over the years I have come to believe she was right! She was trained, in CRP!

mdnky
02-02-2005, 00:48
Ooh...got a few.

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A bunch of us were sitting around the station one night, watching TV. As me and another guy walked through the door to the bay, we heard squeal-crack-crunch-crash. Looking out the door, we saw a Toyota mini-van sitting in the drainage ditch on the yard side, with the drivers side in the ditch and the front bumper lodged into our culvert/driveway.

We grabbed the jump kit and a portable radio, then walked down towards the car. We got about 1/2 way there and heard something really weird. Got up to the passenger's side and saw an older Japanese guy having a fit, hitting the dash of his minivan and screaming who knows what in Japanese. Whatever it was, it wasn't 'happy'. I think he gave us a lesson in Japanese swearing.

Started to ask if he was alright, he didn't acknowledge us. As we got closer, it became more obvious he was intoxicated. The stench from the liquor was overpowering. Finally I shined the Maglight in his face and asked if he was alright again, this time real close to the passenger's door.

He immediately held his hands up and said, "Don't shoot!"

So we finally get him convinced we aren't there to shoot him, find out he's probably not hurt, and he tries to get out of the vehicle. (PD there by now.) Instead of climbing out the passengers side...he tries to open his door. No good cause of the ditch. So he climbs out the window and falls flat on his face. The officer asks if he needs anything, the guy replies: "Johnny Cochran", er...at least that's what we think he was trying to say.

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(This one was told to me by the member it happened to where I used to run the day after it happened.)
One of our members got woke up at 3 in the morning by the dispatch center via the phone. They told him there were some officers in front of the station with some 'cars' in the roadway. Well, he of course says something like 'Of course there's cars on the roadway', thinking it's a hoax by the dispatchers (he used to work there). Finally they convince him to go out and look. He gets out there and there's a whole herd of cows in the road. There's a couple deputies trying to call them like dogs...."Here cow". The cows of course ignore them. He finally goes down and starts kicking gravel at them, which they finally respond to and move off the road and into the grass next to it. Finally, the farmer who lost them showed up, whistled, and they pretty much followed the farmer home.

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The FD and EMS were two separate entities. Their station was across the street and down about 100 feet from the EMS building. One day they took delivery of a new engine, so a bunch decided to take it out for a test drive. As they drive by we see this thing flapping and hear a metallic clang. The hose fell out of the bed (100' or so of it) and they wound up taking down the yellow Fire Department sign and the speed limit sign.

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A little after that FD incident, the EMS bought a new ambulance. A nice class III Braun, fully loaded. A few of us decide to take it for a spin, so we hop in and take off. The Asst. Chief drove up to the local high school, then traded off with one of the Captains. Another member and me were in the back. While said captain is driving, a bit spirited I might add, he clips the curb right where a sewer drain is and slashes the right rear outer tire. We had the thing a total of 1 day, and it had like 200 miles on it at most. It wasn't even letterd yet. They spent the next hour trying to figure out what to do...tell the Chief or not...even went as far as sending me home to grab a HD floor jack so we could change the tire out.

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Our second squad was out for service the weekend the High School hosted the annual special olympics. It was in October and unusually sunny and hot for that time of the year. We of course got our butts slammed. Not only at the games either...seems the rest of our area decided to call us too.

There were 3 of us, 2 EMT-Bs and an EMT-FR. We wound up grabbing the Jump Kit, AED, Portable O2, and the Portable Radio from the OOS squad and took one guy's pickup up to the school. The plan was to leave one EMT behind if the squad had to go somewhere. It worked pretty well, especially since one of the Asst. Principals at the school was an officer at the FD and had his radio with him.

I was left behind towards the end, when I got a call from the Asst. Principal about a lady in the stands suffering from heat exhaustion. So I go over, check her out, and we find out that not only did that happen but she forgot to eat all day and was diabetic. I called for the squad. They had just got done with their last run and were refueling.

When they got there, something just wasn't right. The guy who was driving, a younger kid around 19, was acting really strange. To top it off, the ambulance was definitely running hot and there was the weirdest smell that I couldn't place coming from it. I kinda figured we just ran it really hard today and it was complaining. I asked the driver if it was acting strange, he just said no. So we load the lady in, they take off for the hospital. Not 2 minutes later, he calls me to channel 3, the non-repeated channel. He then tells me he thinks he put gas in the tank instead of diesel. The unit had a 35 or 40 gallon tank, and it was about 1/3 full when they filled up.

We never did figure out how he screwed up like that. There's no conceivable way to pull up at the middle diesel pump, where they refueled, and be able to stretch the gas line to the tank.

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A bunch of our members got woke up late on night for a call about something vague, not sure exactly what it was for. When they get there, they found an older man (60's) with a Yoohoo bottle sticking out the front of his pants. Use your imagination. The crew consisted of one male (only certified driver), a new female observer, and a somewhat new female EMT.

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I was loading a old hutch into the back of my truck to take it to a member's house when this green convertible comes screeching into our parking lot. A guy gets out of the passenger's side and runs up to me, holding his hand with a towel wrapped around it.

He says I need help, I hurt my finger. I was like, ok, did you cut it or what?. How bad? Off, he says. WHAT? I say. Right as I said that a female comes up holding a salad bowl (big one, maybe 12" or so in diameter and 6 to 8" deep) filled with a watery icy mixture and a finger floating in the middle of it.

I went and grabbed the on duty crew...I was still in EMT school, funny thing is we had just covered what to do with amputated parts the night before in class.

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There was a trailer park in the south area of our district that was downright nasty and happened to house some of our frequent fliers. One such trailer had steps up to the door, then steps back down to bare ground once you were inside. Funny thing is while they don't have enough money for a floor in their trailer, they had enough to buy a state of the art Plasma TV and Bose surround sound system, satellite TV system, and a leather couch...all of which were sitting on the bare ground.

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A member who lived close to that area (see above) first responded in the middle of the night for a 'not breathing' call that turned out to be a frequent flyer who had seizures. The funny part was what he showed up in...a pair of coaches shorts. No shirt, no shoes.

For X-mass that year, we bought him a set of pink bunny slippers as a gag. A few months later he 1st responded again for us to the same place, this time in his pink bunny slippers. The face of the deputy who responded with us was priceless. We had to explain to him about it before he would step 10 feet near that guy.

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I got woke up one night in the station to the sound of my partner screaming bloody murder. Turns out one of the K-9 units decided to drop in and visit with his 'friend'. My partner was laying prone on the bed, white faced, with a growing German Shepard inches from his face growling, drooling and baring his teeth.

To my partner's dismay, I asked the handler "What's that command for attack again?"

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We got one of those 190# Rescue Randy's for training. We wound up clothing him and moving him all around the station just for the heck of it. One night, someone got the bright idea to put him in the men's restroom (single toliet, kinda tiny) on the can with his pants down to his ankles. They even put a magazine in his hands and left the lights out. About 3am that evening a PD unit stopped in to use the rest room. He said he opened the door, saw him and said "Sorry Buddy!", closing the door real quick. When he didn't hear anything replied he started to realize something wasn't right. He slowly opened the door again to check and finally figured it out after poking him. He wasn't too happy about it, evidentially it took two people to get the thing there and he had to go really bad and couldn't get the it off the can.

I would talk about the Rescue Randy and ResuAnne honeymoon, but it's not very appropriate for the board.

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I'm sure I could come up with more crazy station antics, runs, etc...but I won't bore you.

Glock-A-Roo
02-02-2005, 14:20
I'm still new to EMS so I only have one good funny story. I'm sure that will change in time.

I went through orientation and was supposed to receive, among other items, the gray polo-style uniform shirts we are issued. They have our service name and shield-like emblem embroidered on the left breast. They were out of new ones, so the supply guy directed me to the rack of used uniforms and said "pick one out that fits and use it until we get the new ones in". I did so.

Next came my very first day of work, and I was getting strange looks from many of the medics. I began to wonder if I had a red X painted on my forehead or something. Finally someone explained it to me: the embroidered shirt emblem is silver for low level folks, and gold for lieutenants/captains/etc. Sure enough, the used shirt I had picked out had a gold emblem.

Picture it: brand new, know-nothing FNG walking around in an officer's uniform shirt. Still makes me cringe thinking about it.

GlocknSpiehl
02-02-2005, 22:19
Fire and Rescue were seperate depts that shared the same buildings. We were stationed at a substation with one wagon and one basic unit. It was my 24 hour shift on a Saturday and there was a MONSTER thunderstorm going on. We were watching "Backdraft" (of course!) when there was a huge "KABOOOOM!" right outside the building.

No lie, all of our hair was standing on edge and we could smell a real funky odor, kinda like smoke. One of the FF says, "C***, we just got hit by lightening! Someone go out and check if the roof is on fire!"

We Rescue guys all looked at each other and I said, "No way! Fire is for you guys! If you get hit by lightning out there, we'll come get you."

THELimey
02-04-2005, 14:00
One of the funniest things i have seen was a GSW to the leg close range 12 gauge the guy was out birdhunting put down his shotgun to pick up the downed bird when the excited young Lab on loan from a good friend danced into the trigger gaurd discharging said 12 gauge as he kneeled to retreive the bird resulting in man shot by own dog............i ***** you not!!!!! no charges were pressed;f ...infact the guy was pretty nice about it and took total responsibilty (most people do not have that much incite sadly in the great big world out there....)expensive deal he was Airmed'd to a Level 1 Trauma center for extensive ortho trauma.