Ladies with gun shy husbands? [Archive] - Glock Talk

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runnergirl
01-25-2005, 21:10
So, normally, it's the guy getting the girl to go to the range. In my case, I have to coax hubby every inch of the way. It's taken months, but I finally got him to the range to take the CCW class this past weekend, and 90% of the time he seems ok or even positive about me buying a gun. I think he'll be uncomfortable if I start carrying when I'm with him though.

My main reason for carrying is when I'm running alone, but I plan to carry when possible and when going into less safe/more populated areas.

Anyone else have this problem? It's not that bad, it's just an akward dynamic. The ironic thing is, I met him on a range 7 years ago;g but now he's borderline anti-gun. Go figure!

ubimow
01-25-2005, 21:58
My husband doesn't carry but he keeps one in his vehicle. I am the one who carries everywhere I go. As far as your husband being "uncomfortable" if you carry when your with him...so what? You are an adult and are capable of making your own decisions. If he asks you, "why?" just tell him because you want to and he should respect your decision.

Melissa Ann
01-26-2005, 08:16
Wow! That is a flip from the "norm." Why has he changed his tune?? If you met him on the range, and he enjoyed shooting back then, something must have happened to make him move toward anti.

People tease my boyfriend and I, telling him he better stay in line since I know how to shoot. I'd never shoot someone unless I was in fear for my life. I certainly wouldn't shoot out of rage or anything. I wonder if some men are afraid of that though. Something to think about....

What would I do if I was married to someone who was uncomfortable with me carrying?? Ask him if he'd rather I was mugged or raped when out running alone. Then tell him it's my right (even responsibility) to protect myself and my loved ones (including him). That while cops do their best, they cant' be everywhere at one time, and when it hits the fan, you want to be prepared. Drawing and firing at an attacker takes significantly less time than calling 9-1-1 and waiting for the calvary to come and clean up the mess the bad guys made of me. Those are things I have advised men to tell their wives who don't want them to carry. Doesnt' work a lot of the time, but some times it at least helps the other understand, or provides an arguement/s they can't really argue with anymore.

Take care and stay safe. Stick to your guns on this one (yes, pun intended) ;)
Melissa

SouthernGal
01-26-2005, 13:24
My (very) EX-husband never had a problem with my carrying. He had a permit as well and carried pretty much most of the time.

Now that we're divorced though, I can see your point VERY clearly. A few months ago I had a 2nd date with a guy who felt my IWB G19 and our 2nd date quickly became our LAST date--he never called me again. I'm not sure what his problem was because the date seemed to go fine. I believe I've called him a wuss more than once.

One of the two guys I'm seeing now has no problem with my carrying, understands why I do, but does act somewhat concerned that I carry with one up the chamber. The other one calls me a "defensive woman" (whatever that means) and doesn't understand it but tolerates it. I find this ironic since he's an avid hunter and a former SEC football player (I should mention he does not own a single pistol).

I'm not sure what it is that turns some jock or hunter men into "anti" gun type people when the roles are reversed.

Cat91
01-26-2005, 18:31
Weird.

My hubby has a permit but never carries. He does, however, insist that *I* have my .357 with me everywhere I go. It was his idea that I start packin' heat in the first place. He says he feels safer about me being on the road and all (I work 50 miles away) with the gun close by.

Miao, Cat

MrsKitty
01-26-2005, 23:14
Do any of you think this male fear of women with firearms who are ready to protect themselves irrationality stems from them thinking that we don't NEED them? We can protect ourselves so we don't need them to do that for us. Thus, they feel like less of a man. Did that make any sense? ;g :)

SouthernGal
01-27-2005, 09:08
Originally posted by misskitty5077
Do any of you think this male fear of women with firearms who are ready to protect themselves irrationality stems from them thinking that we don't NEED them? We can protect ourselves so we don't need them to do that for us. Thus, they feel like less of a man. Did that make any sense? ;g :)

I've thought something along those lines, that by our arming ourselves that we are assuming a dominant role in protecting ourselves. Normally, this is the type of role a man would play (as "protector"). I think this threatens them for some reason.

I tried to explain this concept to the former FB player--he's about 6'5" and about 215 or so (that's easily TWICE my size) by putting it this way--if he and I were walking down the same street on different occassions and someone decided to mug us, who do YOU think they'd be more likely to choose? It seems logical to me that I'd be what most perps would think would be an "easy" target in comparison to him because on the surface I pose less of a physical threat.

Unfortunately, I'm not married to either of these guys so I carry instead. I'm finding the older I get the less I tend to tolerate those who talk down to me for carrying.

Melissa Ann
01-27-2005, 14:26
How you carry yourself/present yourself has a lot to do with the "easy target" concept as well. I'm a big girl but a fella had no qualms about seeking me out as an easy target a few years ago. Apparently there are times when I get a "scared kitten" look about me, look to the ground, and just look weak. Well, he zoned in on that and met me at my car in an empty parking lot. When I saw he had a knife in his hand, I reacted, refusing to be a victim. In the end, he was lying on the ground, in a fetal position, rocking back and forth crying and I drove off in my car yelling out the window not to mess with redheads (I punted his "nads" up between his ears). A smaller woman, carrying herself confidently would not look like as easy a target as a heavier girl, looking scared of the world.
Do any of you think this male fear of women with firearms who are ready to protect themselves irrationality stems from them thinking that we don't NEED them?
Maybe. Certainly a lot of men have pretty fragile psyches. ;)

When I'm out with my bf, I tend to be less aware than if I'm alone. Is that to let him know I need him? I doubt it, it's more likely a subconscious decision on my part, knowing that he's alert and ready to protect me at all times. He likes that I can shoot, and fairly well. At competitions, he's thrilled when I do better than him on a stage or two (I've never beaten him completely - doubt I ever will) but once in a while, I'll do good in one stage and it's so cool to have him cheering for me when I do. He likes that I can take care of myself if I need to. I don't know about other fellas - though a lot of my shooting buddy friends are glad to know I can take care of myself too.

I tend to think the male aversion to women with guns has more to do with men fearing retribution from the women if they do wrong. Like a fella beating the crap out of his wife, could be nervous if she starts carrying a gun, fearing that she'll put a cap in him while he's sleeping. Or if he cheats on her, she might think that's deserving of a lead injection.

Men have been dominant for so long, maybe it's inherent for some of them to fear a woman being dominant, or at least empowered.

Interesting thoughts....
Melissa :)

Cat91
01-27-2005, 20:28
There's a certain class of guy that's like that. I used to do our domestic violence prosecutions and it always gives me a charge to get one on the stand and rip into him like Leatherface trying out a new Craftsman on Friday night :D .... "How's it feel to be the victim, sucka?!" ;a

It never fails. They always get mad and shoot off their mouths in front of the jury. And then I convict their narrow asses and send 'em to jail! Muahahahaha.

Miao, Cat

polygonal
01-29-2005, 01:23
I consider my wife "my equal" she is not just my wife but my Best friend. I fully respect her wishes and she mine. I almost always carry my G36 or bigger, and when my wife carries I feel we are almost invincable. Guys that are unhappy with their wife carrying have an ego problem as far as I am concerned. ;5

runnergirl
01-29-2005, 09:39
The more I discuss this with him the better he seems to feel about me carrying.

I agree there's an element of fear that because women are overly emotional they'll use the gun against their boyfriend/husband. I've asured him if he ever cheats I won't shoot him, I'll find a lawyer to evicerate him. (Bree on desperate housewives is my hero;f )

We're a strange breed of republican, our main news source is NPR and PBS, so I think over time that has skewed his views on guns somewhat. I just have to provide some pro-gun balence. A recent op-ed in the London telegraph was very helpful.

He's not a macho/ego type guy, and readily admits I could kick his ass (I take a lot of self defense classes), I think there may be some guilt that he's not home to protect me (he's on the road 4 days a week).

reinbeau
01-29-2005, 10:26
We're a strange breed of republican, our main news source is NPR and PBS, so I think over time that has skewed his views on guns somewhat. I just have to provide some pro-gun balence. A recent op-ed in the London telegraph was very helpful.Sandanista Radio will do that to you! ;)

pete1953
01-29-2005, 23:02
I am overjoyed that my wife Lynn shoots, has taken training and gotten her Florida LTC. She has one for carry now, but she usually borrows one of mine.When finances allow I'll get another for her. My daughters shoot rifles, but only my youngest with shoot handguns. All three understand the need and God given right to defend themselves and their loved ones. My wife is mentally prepared, as well as physically, to protect herself and family. I love them, care and protect them as best as I can, but ultimately they have to be alert and proactive in staying safe. We all need to come home safe at the end of the day!

vote Republican
02-03-2005, 09:59
Put them on GT so we can straighten them out.

MrsKitty
02-03-2005, 15:40
That is a good idea! ;N

Gary F
02-06-2005, 04:57
Originally posted by SouthernGal
I've thought something along those lines, that by our arming ourselves that we are assuming a dominant role in protecting ourselves. Normally, this is the type of role a man would play (as "protector"). I think this threatens them for some reason.

I tried to explain this concept to the former FB player--he's about 6'5" and about 215 or so (that's easily TWICE my size) by putting it this way--if he and I were walking down the same street on different occassions and someone decided to mug us, who do YOU think they'd be more likely to choose? It seems logical to me that I'd be what most perps would think would be an "easy" target in comparison to him because on the surface I pose less of a physical threat.

Unfortunately, I'm not married to either of these guys so I carry instead. I'm finding the older I get the less I tend to tolerate those who talk down to me for carrying.

"unfortunately (you) are not married to either of these guys ...." hmmm ... ;Q ; maybe you meant fortunately??

Perry F.
02-06-2005, 10:03
Originally posted by Gary F
"unfortunately (you) are not married to either of these guys ...." hmmm ... ;Q ; maybe you meant fortunately??

I want a woman like on of you, I can't get my wife to go shooting. :(

Mrs. VR
02-07-2005, 17:12
Originally posted by vote Republican
Put them on GT so we can straighten them out. now I know where you've been hanging out! ;) ;f

We cant carry here, so it's not an issue, but Im pretty darn confident that if we COULD VR would have no issue with it...in fact, he finally nagged me into qualifying for IPSC so I can shoot it with him. Dont think he'd be a bit intimidated if I was able to protect myself on a regular basis, I suspect he'd be annoyed if I didnt!:cool:

vote Republican
02-08-2005, 11:05
See my sig line.

The second part.

:cool:

Jack23
02-13-2005, 12:05
I have always believed that fire arms are not the weapon of choice for every one. But if a person is so inclined I don't believe that gender has anything to do with a persons abilities to handle them or their willingness to use them. It's a personal choice.

I just feel that a person, man or woman, should carefully select the pistol or revolver that is best suited to their own needs, preferences, circumstances, and capabilities. Then they should take some training and safety courses and practice, practice, practice.

I wish my wife would shoot with me but she is one of those that is not suited to fire arms. I've been married to two women and they both hated guns. I think next time I'll marry me a shooter! ;f

MrsKey
02-16-2005, 12:12
I dated a guy who was an anti. The ironic thing is that the same guy decided to try to rearrange my face with his fists one night. Thank God for my Taurus PT99!

The sound of the slide slamming a round into the chamber sure made him stop in his tracks.

My hubby is at least as avid a shooter as I am and I cannot imagine life with someone who was opposed to me owning and carrying.

Here's hopin' he comes around.

Cat91
02-16-2005, 17:02
Oh, hell yes.

I did the same thing with a revolver once. Before I met current hubby I had a Colt Python.

I also had a stalker. I met Dave doing laundry at the local laundromat. I chatted with him and agreed to go on a date. I did, once. He started showing up at my place unannounced, and drunk. The last time beating on my door and calling me a 'ho and threatening violence if I didn't open up...no way in hell I was gonna open up.

I got next to the door and spun the cylinder real fast with the hammer halfway back, then clicked back the hammer. You could hear the little finger that stops the cylinder go "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZT!"

He didn't hang around much longer ;a

Miao, Cat

02-16-2005, 20:26
Just make sure you clean your guns with Hoppe's #9! That smell on a lady drives me crazy!!! ;3 ;3 ;3

Nephilim
02-24-2005, 17:28
Originally posted by misskitty5077
Do any of you think this male fear of women with firearms who are ready to protect themselves irrationality stems from them thinking that we don't NEED them? We can protect ourselves so we don't need them to do that for us. Thus, they feel like less of a man. Did that make any sense? ;g :)

It makes alot of sense.

I personally don't like people who have irrational disdain or fear of weapons... it makes them look stupid and childish. I have a special contempt for men who are afraid of weapons.

I work with a guy... who for all intents and purposes I get along with. He's fairly intelligent, we can talk about current events, and he gets my obscure jokes based on distant literary references. Still...

One day we were talking about hobbies. When he found out I collected/fired/carried guns... he just could not understand why. I explained to him that aside from enjoying honing my marksmanship skills... there is also the practical reason to having a gun: its a damn good tool for killing people who would seek to do you harm. He launches into this whole liberal sob story about never harming anyone blah blah blah. I know he has a wife and a kid. I ask point blank "Would you kill a man to protect your wife and infant son?" he says "Of course." Equally as point blank I reply "How?" He didn't really have a plan. ;Q

TravisABQ
02-24-2005, 18:05
As long as a woman can get a restraining order on me, and
make it illegal for me to own my weapons, or buy any others,
I will NEVER date a woman who does not own firearms herself.

None of that "she doesn't understand, but she's ok with it"
business.... m NONSENSE.... My ex pretended to be that way,
until she needed an excuse to break up with me.

If a woman does not understand the nature of the world we
live in, and she herself carries a weapon, we have too
divergent philosophies about everything to ever get along.

--Travis--

digitspaw
03-05-2005, 23:47
It's time for PAGE TWO

Colonel Klink
03-06-2005, 00:07
A Man's imput.

I think a lot of men are afraid of strong women. They don't know what to do with them. Ask your presently single female friends, who don't carry, if they how problems with men over some other topic. I bet you will find men afraid of them for other, less important reasons. My wife won't carry. Partly because she can't legally and partly because I can and do.

We live in Oakland CA where too many women have been carjacked and some of those killed and left in the trunk of their car. My wife's car has a gun tucked waaaaay back in the trunk. If anyone ever forces her into the trunk of her own car they better leave her in there because they will have a BIG surprise when they open the trunk to get her out.