Everything's bigger in Tx [Archive] - Glock Talk

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gr81disp
01-28-2005, 18:42
A wealthy Texas oil magnate goes to Australia to sign a deal to share pumps in the Mid-East with an Australian company. He is picked up by an Aussie limo driver and instantly begins to complain.

"That plane was way too small. We have them much larger in Texas. I could barely move my legs." The limo driver agrees and begins to put his bags in the limousine.

The Texan asks him. "What's that?" The driver looks puzzled and says, "This is a limo that was sent for you."

The Texan says, "Pretty puny ain't it? Texas has real limos, my five year old has bigger cars than that in his toybox."

The limo driver is nonplussed but decides to hold his tongue as this man was very important to his bosses. As they drive it keeps coming.

"These roads are far too small, I have dental floss wider. In Texas, it will take you three days and an afternoon to get across one."

"Those cattle are puny, wouldn't even make good beef jerky. You should see the long horns in Texas."

"Is that an office building or did someone turn a cardboard box upside down and put a trademark on it? In Texas, we have skyscrapers that would put all these stacked on top of one another to shame."

The driver was very upset by this time and was just about let him have it when a kangeroo jumped across in front of the car, causing the driver to hit the brakes quickly. The Texan was badly shaken and being somewhat uneducated in the case of fauna, asked "What was that?"

The Aussie shrugged and said, "Damn grasshoppers."