Humor: Marine Corps Entrance Exam [Archive] - Glock Talk


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03-09-2005, 14:37
Time Limit: 3 Weeks
Name: _____________________________
Signature: _____________________________
1. What language is spoken in France?

2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.

3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to? (check only one)
___ (a) build a bridge
___ (b) sail the ocean
___ (c) lead an army or
___ (D) WRITE A PLAY!!!!

4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
___ (a) Jewish
___ (b) Catholic
___ (c) Hindu
___ (d) Polish
___ (e) Agnostic
___ (f) Muslim
___ (g) Irish
___ (h) Buddhist
___ (i) Protestant
___ (j) Italian
___ (k) Southern Baptist

5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?

6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 5?

7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)

8. What are people in America's far north called? (check only one)
___ (a) Westerners
___ (b) Southerners
___ (c) Northerners

9. Spell: Bush, Carter, and Clinton (please print)
Bush : _________________________________________
Carter : _________________________________________
Clinton: _________________________________________

10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one being George the Sixth. Name the previous five:

11. Where does rain come from? (check only one)
___ (a) Macy's
___ (b) a 7-11
___ (c) Canada
___ (d) the sky (clouds)

12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity? (check only one)
___ (a) yes
___ (b) no

13. What are coat hangers used for?

14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what country?

15. Explain Le Chateliers Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium -OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS (please print).

16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?

17. Which part of America produces the most oranges (check only one)?
___ (a) New York
___ (b) Florida
___ (c) Canada
___ (d) Wisconsin

18. Basic Math. If you have three apples, how many apples do you have?

19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?

20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when (approximately)?
___ (a) B.C.
___ (b) A.D.

21. What Does the NAVY do? (check only one)
___ (a) Sail the seven seas and play with inflatable dolls
___ (b) Haul Marines to various fight locations around the world!
___ (c) All of the above

22. Who is the current President of the United States of America? (check only one)
___ (a) Usama bin Laden
___ (b) Jimmy Carter
___ (c) Ronald Reagan
___ (d) General George C, Patton
___ (e) Adolf Hitler
___ (f) GEORGE W. BUSH

23. Where do most Marines receive their basic training? (check only one)
___ (a) The White House
___ (b) Camp David
___ (c) Disneyland
___ (d) Nixon's Library
___ (e) Watergate Hotel
___ (f) Santa's Lodge at the North Pole
___ (g) Parris Island South Carolina

24. Joining the Marines is better than:
___ (a) Joining the Army, Air Force, Coast Guard, or Navy
___ (b) Having SEX

25. You are in a Bar and someone insults the Marine Corp., YOU should:
___ (a) Go home immediately and tell your Mother
___ (b) Follow tradition and kick the crap out of them

26. As a Marine you will be expected to:
___ (a) Die for your country
___ (b) Call your mommy when you get hurt

27. There are three (3) branches to the United States Government, they are (check only one):
___ (a) Executive, Legislative, and Judicial
___ (b) Army, Navy, Marines
___ (c) White, Black, and Hispanic
___ (d) Protestant, Jewish, and Catholic

28. D.I. stands for (check only one):
___ (a) Drill Instructor
___ (b) Dickwad Inventor
___ (c) Down In
___ (d) D-Day Invasion

29. Advanced Math: You have one pound of Grapes. How many pounds of grapes do you have?

30. If I am masturbating, then I am:
___ Jerking Off
___ Playing with my Wang
___ Straightening My Pole
___ Flexing my lower muscles

31. **** Packing is for:
___ Queers
___ Babes who like it up the ass
___ Sailors

32. Underage Girls and Marines mean:
___ (a) Trouble
___ (b) Angry Fathers
___ (c) Shotgun Weddings
___ (d) Statutory Rape Charges unless your in the deep south
___ (e) All of the above

33. There are only two things that come from Oklahoma, Steers and Queers:
___ I agree
___ I do not agree

34. In war, I must (check as many as apply):
___ Kill the enemy, my creed will be one shot, one kill
___ Yell out, "Hey ya all want to surrender?"
___ Take NO Prisoners, kill them all, let God sort them out later

Test Notations:
* You must correctly answer five (5) or more questions to qualify.

* If you are stuck on any questions, you may ask the monitor for help.

* Cheating is not tolerated but may be overlooked if YOU currently have the body of Arnold Schwarzenegger when he won the Mr. Universe Contest.

* If you brought your dog or horse with you, please don't bring it into the test room, tie it up outside.

Important Test Note: We would appreciate it if you would NOT Jerk Off
during the test.

03-09-2005, 19:22
Pretty good one. I notice, using my extrodinary powers of deduction, that you are/were Army. Trouble with the exam? hehehe We're all there to accomplish the same objective.

"To locate, close with, and destroy the enemy by fire and manuever, or repel the enemies assault by fire and close combat." Mission of the Marine Rifle Squad.

03-09-2005, 23:13
;z ;z ;z

Cute, I'll give this to a Buddy of mine:)

03-09-2005, 23:24
LMAO.....that's hilarious.

03-10-2005, 17:24

03-10-2005, 17:30

03-10-2005, 21:15
~2 ~2

03-11-2005, 15:31
Bro that on is one we can chuckle at for sure.
My Recon Team (Snakey)