Euro-Englisch [Archive] - Glock Talk


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03-24-2005, 09:35
The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English
will be the official language of the EU rather than German which was the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's UK
Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5 year phase-in plan that would be known as

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly,
this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the"k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have
1 less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year,
when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will
make words like fotograf" 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments
will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a
deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horrible mes of
the silent "e"s in the language is disgraseful, and they should go away.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords containing
"ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of
leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil
be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi to understand
ech ozer.

Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen ve vil tak over ze vorld!

03-24-2005, 18:05

Now I no my speling ov ze English language will improv greatly, vit out much work en my end!

I new ze wood konform to se zings my way. I was rite al along.

03-25-2005, 15:49
There was one I saw written in the eighties that made it look like russian.

03-26-2005, 01:10
^<wg Yes, here in Europe we're really looking forward to the changes! :cool: