A fence [Archive] - Glock Talk

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bachchoy
03-26-2005, 01:09
>> What do you call
>> two Mexicans playing basketball?
>>
>> Juan on Juan
>>
>> Why is divorce so expensive?
>>
>> Because it's worth it.
>>
>> Why is air a lot like sex?
>>
>> Because it's no big deal
>> unless you're not getting any.
>>
>> What's the difference
>> between a girlfriend and wife?
>>
>> 45 lbs.
>>
>> What's the difference
>> between a boyfriend and husband?
>>
>> 45 minutes.
>>
>> What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
>>
>> Through his chest with a sharp knife.
>>
>> Why do men want to marry virgins?
>>
>> They can't stand criticism.
>>
>> Why is it so hard for women to find men
>> that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
>>
>> Because those men already have boyfriends.
>>
>> What's the difference between
>> a new husband and a new dog?
>>
>> After a year,
>> the dog is still excited to see you.
>>
>> What makes men chase women
>> they have no intention of marrying?
>>
>> The same urge that makes dogs chase cars
>> they have no intention of driving.
>>
>> A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead
>> are all in third grade.
>> Who has the biggest boobs?
>>
>> The blonde, because she's 18.
>>
>> Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
>>
>> Mace will do that to you.
>>
>> Why do men find it difficult
>> to make eye contact when first
>> meeting a beautiful woman?
>>
>> Breasts don't have eyes.
>>
>> Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi
>>
>> He walks around saying "Yo."
>>
>> Why do drivers' education classes
>> in Redneck schools use the car only on
>> Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
>>
>> Because on Tuesday and Thursday,
>> the Sex Ed class uses it.
>>
>> Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
>>
>> A different bar.
>>
>> What would you call it when an Italian
>> has one arm distinctly shorter than the other?
>>
>> A speech impediment.
>>
>> What does it mean when the flag
>> at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
>>
>> They're hiring.
>>
>> What's the difference between
>> a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
>>
>> A southern zoo has a description
>> of the animal on the front of the cage
>> along with... "a recipe".
>>
>> How do you get a sweet little
>> 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
>>
>> Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady
>> to yell *BINGO*!
>>
>> What's the difference between
>> a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
>>
>> A northern fairytale begins
>> "Once upon a time..."
>> A southern fairytale begins
>> "Y'all ain't gonna believe this ****..."
>>
>> Why is there no Disneyland in China?
>>
>> No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
>>
>> My, my, how times have changed. Years ago...
>> When 100 white men chased two black men,
>> we called it the Ku Klux Klan.
>>
>> Today they call it the PGA TOUR.