"something To Offend Everyone..." [Archive] - Glock Talk

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Glocker74
03-31-2005, 12:22
Here ya go...


SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

Why is divorce so expensive?
Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What do attorneys use for birth control?
Their personalities.

What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
Through his chest with a sharp knife.

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
"Are you sure it's mine?"

Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.

Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don't have eyes.

Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
He walks around saying "Yo."



Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A speech impediment.

What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They're hiring.

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... "a recipe".

scottlang
03-31-2005, 19:44
The difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral, one less drunk.:joker:

FrEaK_aCcIdEnT
04-01-2005, 09:48
Originally posted by Glocker74
Here ya go...


SOMETHING TO OFFEND EVERYONE!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts?

What do you call a smart blonde?
A golden retriever.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong"

these are my favorites... but the pillsbury doughboy was the funniest!!!

okie
04-01-2005, 14:33
Those are very funny indeed;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z ;z

SCmasterblaster
04-01-2005, 18:25
Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.


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