Police [Archive] - Glock Talk


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Nowhere Man
01-07-2006, 06:02
> You thought police officers didn't have a sense of
> humor. The following were taken off of actual police
> car videos around the country:
> #15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're
> new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
> #14 "Take your hands off the car and I'll make your
> birth certificate a worthless document."
> #13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
> #12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?
> In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of
> a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."
> #11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I
> guess that means I can write anything I want on the
> ticket, huh?"
> #10 "Yes, Sir; you can talk to the shift supervisor,
> but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention
> that I am the shift supervisor?"
> #9 "Warning? You want a warning? Okay, I'm warning
> you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
> #8 "The answer to this last question will determine
> whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a
> cat or a dog?"
> #7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is
> a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton
> candy, and step in monkey dung."
> #6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my
> wife gets a toaster oven."
> #5 "In God we trust, all others we run through
> NCIC."
> #4 "Just how big were those two beers?"
> #3 "No, sir; we don't have quotas anymore. We used
> to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as
> many tickets as we want."
> #2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
> personal friend of yours. At least you know
> someone who can post your bail."
> #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
> You're right, we don't. Sign here."

01-09-2006, 06:55
Originally posted by DLM
> > #1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
> You're right, we don't. Sign here."