Old E vs 0 joke but it still makes me laugh [Archive] - Glock Talk

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tyesai
04-21-2006, 11:34
Maybe I laugh cause it is true,,,,sort of.


MILITARY LIFE
A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be enlisted," said the balloonist.
"I am," replied the woman, "How did you know?"
"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The woman below responded, "You must be an Officer."
"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is, you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

Downeaster
05-02-2006, 01:19
Two SF troops deployed to the desert awaken in the middle of the night staring up at the star filled sky. From the warmth of their sleeping bags, they strike up a conversation.

The MSgt says, "Lieutenant, when you look up at the sky, what does it make you think about?"

The Lieutenant says, "Well, astronomically the configuration of the constellations tell me we're in the northern hemisphere. Meteorologically, the fact the sky is so clear that we can see the stars tells me high pressure is keeping the cloud cover away and tomorrow will be a nice day. Philosophically, the vastness of the sky and space makes me think how insignificant we, as individuals, truly are. And theologically, it makes me realize the Creator is powerful and great".

After a thoughtful moment, the Lieutenant asks, "Sarge, what does it make you think about?"

The NCO responds, "It makes me think someone stole our friggin' tent".

MSgtJoe
05-22-2006, 20:34
True Story. I was an A1C at Vandenberg (4392nd Transportation Sq) and was placed in charge of the night shift with another A1C. Basically we did paperwork and maybe once in a while picked someone up or towed a disabled vehicle. After 5pm, Vandenberg was pretty quiet. Late one evening a retired Lt Col called in and said he wanted his POV towed because he was stuck. I informed the Lt Col we could not tow POVs unless they were a hazard (he was in the middle of a field). He got my OIC (a 2nd Lt) at home and bullied the Lt to have us go out and tow him out of the field. As we were getting everything ready the Lt comes down to the Motorpool to "supervise". We take out the 1 Ton Wrecker and when we get out there it is impossible to get to the car (he is about 150-200' in the field). Well the Lt decides he can do it and half-way out to the car he buries the 1 Ton Wrecker up to the axels. He goes back to the Motorpool and brings out the 5 Ton Wrecker to save the 1 Ton and guess what, buries the 5 Ton too! Now the Lt is really PO'd (and we are laughing at him) so he gets a 45 Pax Southern Coach to pull out the 5 Ton Wrecker. While he is chaining everything up guess who comes by but the Base Commander. He proceeds to chew out the Lt for being so stupid along with disregarding Base Policies with regard to civilian vehicles. The next day the Lt was reassigned to a desk job in the HQ and a week later disappeared.