Scared. [Archive] - Glock Talk

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which_one
05-23-2006, 08:05
Hi, I should have posted my post here, didnt see it till afterwards. Have any of you ever decided to get a gun after a vicious attack? Ever been afraid of guns,but pushed thru that fear?

Mrs. VR
05-23-2006, 08:22
I haven't been in that situation myself, but I know there are a few ladies posting here, who decided to arm themselves after being the victim of an attack.

April
05-23-2006, 08:40
Like the Mrs said, there are a few that have been in a similar situation.

The choice of how and why a person arms themself is a matter of personal protection and as such is a very personal decision.

The women that frequent this forum come from varying backgrounds; some of us have been around firearms all our lives, some hold a profession of arms (law enforcement or military), some of us are just Stay-at-home Moms with an interest in protecting our families and some of us fit into several categories or category at all. Regardless of your place in life, we are a welcoming bunch of ladies who enjoy the shooting sports.

Welcome to the group. We'll do everything we can to answer your questions honestly and to the best of our knowledge. (Don't be scared off by the few men that wander about, they're very supportive and here to help.)

Again, welcome. If there's anything we can help you with on here, let us know.

:) :hugs:

which_one
05-23-2006, 08:47
Thanks for the replies. I admit I am such a wimp, I don\'t think I have it in me to actually kill someone. Even during my attack, I dont think I could have done it. I know that sounds illogical, and I wish I didnt think that way. I wish I was a hardcore female, that at least knew how to defend herself. I really hate having to make a big decision like this. Why cant life be safer??!!

Hauptmann6
05-23-2006, 08:53
Originally posted by which_one
Thanks for the replies. I admit I am such a wimp, I don\'t think I have it in me to actually kill someone. Even during my attack, I dont think I could have done it. I know that sounds illogical, and I wish I didnt think that way. I wish I was a hardcore female, that at least knew how to defend herself. I really hate having to make a big decision like this. Why cant life be safer??!!

You don't have to make it all at once. At least start modifying your life to take control and protect yourself.

If you know you can't shoot someone to protect yourself there are other things like pepperspray.

But the big thing is progressing.

Heck for that matter. Just go target shooting. it's quite relaxing.

Hope everything gets better for ya.

Oh and welcome to GT

rnchick
05-23-2006, 11:14
Hello - I'm rnchick...I was once petrified of guns and now and a gun owner. I did push through my fear after being brutally attacked in my home Oct 15, 2005. I am former military, so I had some exposure to firearms...but for personal protection they jsut weren't my thing. For me, it was a matter of having an aweful thing happen and pushing me to the point of not wanting to feel like a victim anymore. No one else could have forced me to get a gun - it would have been pointless. It had to be my idea, my decision, my persuit of training. It's been one of the biggest and best decisions I have ever made. It's funny though - I got a gun/training for protection but have found a great hobby. My job is high stress and there is nothing like going to the range to blow off some steam!

Welcome to the group!

which_one
05-23-2006, 12:08
Mc, sory you had to endure this too. I Wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy.

ffwife,

I got your pm, and was just about ready to reply, but I no longer see it in mp CP. Anyway thanks, and I posted already on the forum you mentioned.

WI-Guy
05-23-2006, 12:13
I think rnChick said it best - don't do what someone else pushes you to do, but also (as you appear to be doing already) look inside yourself for who you truly are.

A sensitive, caring person who would risk injury or even death for themselves to avoid injuring another human being is NOT A WIMP! You must not think of yourself that way. Another person who is willing to injure or kill another human being to avoid being hurt or injured themselves is NOT A HERO!

I often ask people when they question the choices I have made to protect myself and my family with lethal force, "Under what circumstances would you inflict death or great bodily harm on another human being?" For me, the patent answer is, "If that other human being threatens to do harm to my wife, my kids or myself or has violated the security & sanctity of my home."

If you can't do harm to another, then don't carry. If you can't shoot another human being and carry a handgun "just to scare the bad guy" then you are a definite risk to having the handgun used against you.

Hauptman has some good points to consider while you decide what is best for you. Once you become comfortable with the gun as merely a machine or tool, the fear will go away.

Then you are still left with the decision: "Under what circumstances would you inflict death or great bodily harm on another human being?"

Don't let the situation that scared you determine who you truly are. On the other hand, life experiences help us grow into who we truly are.

I apologize for being so heavy, but IMHO it is an important decision you are facing. Keep asking questions and searching for your own answer!

SouthernGal
05-23-2006, 12:38
I was raised in a hunting home, so I was familiar with firearms from a very young age. I could always pretty much count on the fact that whatever my dad and my great grandfather brought home from the fields was going to be featured on the dinner table later on.

I think I shot my first handgun when I was 12 although I'd been playing with a BB gun long before that. There was really never any fear of any kind of weapons in my house when I was growing up.

I took my class to carry in December of 1999 and started carrying a few months into 2000 when I lived in east Memphis and was married. I've had two men try to get into the car with me and I saw that bystanders would not come to my aid. Relying on the help of others under such circumstances is a bad idea, because you may be waiting on help that will never come.

I got divorced in 2003 and moved back to my home state of MS. I live alone and have no children. I've been known to stay out late and travel alone. I pretty much do not go to Memphis any more without carrying.

Nephilim
05-24-2006, 08:01
Originally posted by which_one
Thanks for the replies. I admit I am such a wimp, I don\'t think I have it in me to actually kill someone. Even during my attack, I dont think I could have done it. I know that sounds illogical, and I wish I didnt think that way. I wish I was a hardcore female, that at least knew how to defend herself. I really hate having to make a big decision like this. Why cant life be safer??!!

I'm sorry it was an attack that led you start researching carrying a firearm for self defense... but I'm glad you're doing the research.

I'll tell you a little bit about my thought processes regarding the mental dilema you've got on your hands. I'm probably the most laid back guy you'll ever meet. I've never started a fight (though I've had to end a few in my day), I always look for the least violent way to desculate a situation (even more so now that I've got a wife, child, and applied for a concealed carry permit), and over all... I just don't get caught up in the stupid posturing that most men insist on participating in.

That said... I take my safety and the safety of my family very seriously. I don't think along the lines of "I'd kill a man." I think along the lines of "I'd do anything to keep myself or my family from injury or death."

When I was in highschool a friend of mine got in a schoolyard fight with another cocky highschool guy. It -should- have just been a two stupid kids swinging at each other. The first hit caught him pretty hard and he fell back. Even that would have been no more than some bruises but the base of his skull caught the lip of the curb and severed his brain stem. Between the neck injury and the blunt injury to his head he's been in a coma since 1998.

I always tell people that story when they can't understand why I'd shoot a man who came swinging at me. You just don't know. You only control your life and your actions. You have to make wise decisions like choosing careful routes, parking in well lit areas, securing your home, securing your car, taking steps to protect yourself... because you just can't guess what will happen. I know I'm not willing to be the guy that hits the curb and sleeps through the rest of his family's life in a coma.

It ultimately comes down to me valuing my life and that of my family more than anyone elses. As soon as someone violates the basic principle of "no harm" towards my family, I'm more than willing to take steps to halt their ability to harm someone. I consider that an investment in our safety and in the safety of other familes that this person might try to victimize.

Another way to look at it is such: We've all got rights... basic human rights like freedom from abuse, tyranny, oppression, and violence. When someone acts in a way that violates the rights of another person (like trying to take their money, hit them, rape them, etc.) they no longer have any rights of their own. Their believe that they have a right to hurt you, to steal from you, or to even end your life... erases any questionable right to continue living they might have had.

Mrs.Cicero
05-25-2006, 12:46
I didn't grow up with guns. I was inclined to like them because my family DIDN'T. But I was uncomfortable with anything mechanical, that i didn't completely understand (I still feel that way about internal combustion engines, hence the plan to rebuild a Bug, when my daughters are a few years older, and can help, and never have my issues). I got past it because I was more uncomfortable with the thought of being stalked by a cougar again, than with the thought of learning enough about guns to be able to use them competently. And I liked backpacking too much to give it up as "too dangerous" - so I did what I could to make it safer - learned to use firearms. Now I do what I can to make my LIFE safer - carry firearm(s).

I don't carry a firearm because "I'm willing to kill someone in order to prevent my own death, or that of my husband or children." I carry a firearm because I am willing to use it to STOP someone from killing me, or my husband, or my family. If my use of a firearm results in the death of an attacker, that was never my intent. My intent is only to prevent the death(s) of those who matter to me, or to prevent the consequences of MY death to those who matter to me. It isn't semantics. It isn't heroic. It is a decision that I made after a great deal of thought and some "life experiences".

For me, allowing someone to kill me, without employing EVERY action at my disposal to prevent it, would be the ultimate selfishness, because I have daughters that need me to raise them, and a husband that needs me (to keep him in line!), and parents who love me (and I can't imagine a worse pain than to lose a child)...I can't choose not-to-fight knowing the consequences to my family, because my family is more important to me than whatever psychological turmoil I might suffer from firing the bullet that caused the death of a would-be murderer, or rapist, whatever.

I also base my decision on the fact that God gave me this life, this one life, and losing it without doing my best to save it, would be an affront to Him. A sin, if you will. If some idiot throws his own away trying to take mine, he'll answer to God for it, not me. God didn't give anyone else MY life, He gave it to ME. I may have days when I wish he'd given it to someone else, but that doesn't change my ultimate responsibility for the gift.

Having said all of that, I greatly discourage anyone from carrying a firearm if they do not truly believe they could use it to defend themselves, because carrying a firearm you are unwilling to use is tantamount to handing a firearm to your attacker and saying "Just shoot me, okay?" It is my personal opinion, unsupported by any scientific studies of which I am aware, that most men, when faced with a woman holding a gun on them, will not believe the woman will shoot them, and are fairly likely to attempt to take it away... the same way stupid boyfriends, who do not like one's participation in marital arts classes, are likely to promote physical disagreements under the guise of "see, it won't save you" until they are roundly stomped, or left gasping on the floor because your foot "accidentally" connected with their gonads. I also believe that anyone who chooses to carry a fiream has a responsibility to be as competent with that firearm as it is possible to be...that means keeping up on the training and practice - none of this taking the required CCW class and then not shooting the gun again til it's time for the refresher course because you don't like the noise or the grit or have the time or whatever.

Last thoughts... if you would truly like to get to the point of "hardcore", start small. Get past the discomfort of unfamiliarity with firearms by being around them...find friends who will let you try theirs, take a class at a local range (you can easily find an NRA-certified instructor who will give basic instruction one-on-one by asking at the local range, or just reading their bulletin boards, or advertisements in range newsletters), attend a competitive shoot as an observer (take ear plugs, and muffs), if you have a gun, take it apart/put it back together until you can do that in the dark, or in a set, short amount of time (that sounds silly, but it goes a long way toward getting past the "it's mechanical, i hate it" reaction). Check out the local NRA women events, the local ranges (some have annual, or monthly, women's days/shoots). Keep asking questions of gun nuts like us. The only dumb questions are the ones that aren't answered because they aren't asked. Gun nuts are generally wildly happy to share their expertise, and opinions, and experiences, and even their guns (but not always their ammo!)

If you have the time, check out IMPACT (used to be Model Mugging - I will see if I can find the website)...what they can teach you in 5 weeks about UNARMED self-defense, from verbally extracting yourself from a bad situation to physically extracting yourself, can be a literal lifesaver. They will help you get past the idea that you can't fight back because you might hurt your attacker...it isn't about him, it's about YOU. Saving YOU. We're all for that.

Mrs.Cicero

Glock&KimberLady
05-25-2006, 15:44
Learning to use firearms is like learning to drive a car...terrifying at first, then familiar, then so comfortable that you're kind of :shocked: when people say they're afraid of them (and wonder what you were ever afraid of in the first place).

+1 to all who say get training and get comfy.

You also need to change your mindset.

You are not a wimp.

You are someone who currently doesn't have the tools to defend yourself. Given the tools, and the confidence that goes along with them, will go a long way toward raising your confidence in your ability to defend yourself, if ever need be again.

The thing to remember is that if you're in a deadly force situation, you are firing to STOP the threat, not necessarily kill it. In some cases, some threats may require killin' before they stop, but it's always a STOP situation...i.e., you're shooting to STOP the deadly threat.

Sometimes just a change in mindset can go a long way toward how you view things. You don't have to ask yourself, "Could I kill someone, if it came down to it?" The question is, "Could I fire a gun at someone using deadly force to STOP their attack upon me?"

I think you'll find it's much easier to answer "yes" to the second question than the first. Good luck. :)

Cat91
05-29-2006, 17:53
Former military and police here, current assistant district attorney. I also grew up around guns. Whichever my current one is, it is never more than ten feet away from me. More than twenty years of dealing with ruthless criminals have taught me that you may only need it once. But when you do, you'll need it right there.

No non-criminal wants to kill. Those of us who have actually had to pull the trigger on another human being regret having had to do that. A gun is a tool, in this case, a tool used for one purpose-to keep you alive when someone else is trying to take your life.

I've never had to actually shoot someone. But I have been near to it. Most recently, some months ago someone tried to break in my front door. I was taking care of a sick husband who was asleep across the house. I was working on the computer, and thank God had the automatic-of-the-day sitting nearby. Someone saw me through the window, and started ringing the doorbell, fast, over and over. Most folks would have gone to the door thinking "what the hell?" and opened it. I was suspicious. I asked "who is it?" first. I had the pistol, a .40 Glock, tucked in my waistband under my t-shirt. When I yelled "who is it," my would-be attacker started trying to open the door. I stepped back well out of the way, took a good old-fashioned Weaver stance with the pistol at high point toward the door, and yelled "I'll blow your f-n head off!" (Yes, I was scared to death.) He looked into the window, his eyes got as big as saucers when he saw the Glock, and he took off running.

If the door had come open I would have double-tapped him without hesitation. I'm glad I didn't have to do it.

Miao, Cat

Mrs. VR
05-29-2006, 19:23
Originally posted by Glock&KimberLady
Learning to use firearms is like learning to drive a car...terrifying at first, then familiar, then so comfortable that you're kind of :shocked: when people say they're afraid of them (and wonder what you were ever afraid of in the first place).

what a GREAT analogy! Im going to shamelessly borrow this next time my anti friend brings it up! :supergrin:


Cat91- wow, that must have been scary! Glad it ended well.

rnchick
05-29-2006, 20:34
Really great replies everyone - it's nice top hear everyone's point of view!

which_one
05-30-2006, 10:51
Originally posted by rnchick
Really great replies everyone - it\'s nice top hear everyone\'s point of view!

I agree. Some scary stories too. I have to be careful what I read sometimes, b/c then I get paranoid someone elses story will happen to me too. Still no gun, but I did finally place an order for pepper spray.

Mrs.Cicero
06-01-2006, 08:19
When the pepper spray arrives, be sure you TEST IT to make sure it will actually spray. My sister-in-law had one that just dripped down her hand instead of spraying. And be sure you are upwind.

Mrs.C

Glock&KimberLady
06-01-2006, 13:00
Originally posted by Mrs. VR
what a GREAT analogy! Im going to shamelessly borrow this next time my anti friend brings it up! :supergrin:


Make her jaw drop even further as you list all of the things you need to do - concurrently - just to OPERATE a car (ignition, gas, brake, clutch on some cars, shifter, lights, etc.)...

Much less drive it on a road with other cars, traffic, lights, animals, weather, wind, etc.

And compare it to a gun - safety on/off, aim, fire. And there are only four rules/laws for firearms, and how many for cars?

Heh. :supergrin:

kcb
06-03-2006, 23:46
When my little girls were small, my husband worked nights. We had already been broken into the night our first daughter was born. My car was stolen out of the parking lot of the hospital where I worked. I had been the victim of tormenting obscene calls some nights 10 at a time night after night since I moved out of my parents home for probably the first 10 years of our marriage.

BUT I fought my husband on the issue of ME learning how to shoot a gun myself. He had guns in our home. He had been a soldier in the Army for four years, so he is well trained. He is GETTING his concealed weapons permit...SOON! I don't know why we haven't done that yet!:upeyes:

I argued that as small as I am/was, it was more likely that if I had a gun in my hand, someone would take it and use it on me or, worse, our beautiful daughters. So, I bravely would investigate noises at night with a baseball bat! Scared too death, of course! We have a split plan house...children on other end of the house, so we always kept an intercom system in operational. (That always made it's own noises that scared me too death too!)

Now that our girls are on their own...oldest daughter married, youngest in her own apartment, getting married in November. I am seriously trying to convince my daughters to take a course to get CWPs with me and get a gun for each of them!

They both live in Metro West in the greater Orlando area of Central Florida. There has been a HUGE crime wave increase over the past weeks...some of which has occurred in my YOUNGEST's parking lot of her NICE apartment complex. Her lease is up in August, and she already has a deposit on a new apartment in a town further west of Orlando. It will mean more driving for her and her future husband when they marry in November, but they'll be safer there.

Pray for their safety. I know NO ONE is safe in many places or anywhere anymore....But, HEY! I am a mother!

I fought the gun issue in my home...not the gun issue in my home but
ME trying to shoot one...I've made such a turn around...I can't believe I am on this site! I can't believe I want to carry one with me! I still have some of those fears!

I have had injuries due to a fall last September that worry me about my ability to defend myself more than ever, but if it's me or them...or my daughters...it's got to be them!

There was a car jacking at my daughter's complex Mother's Day, and my older daughter and her husband were caught in the crossfire without realizing it!

This is where my husband, myself and my children have grown up!

If Disney World EVER wants to put a Park in your home town....say

NO WAY!!!!!!

We are hoping to transfer out of this area as soon as God allows...and praying that our children will follow suit. Both our son-in-law and our future-son-in-law work for companies that have plants in the same area my husband has a good chance of transferring to!

Please pray with us for something positive to happen. Our area is getting bad quickly. Gang activity is moving into our county rapidly; it is EVEN in my elementary school where I teach, though no one wants to say it out loud. It's there....it just breaks my heart! I care about those children so much but all I can do is pray for them, too.

Being scared. Yeah. I've been a victim too many times. I was nearly abducted from a mall when I was 17 years old...before I really knew what it was or you heard of it. The man had a firm grip on my arm and was pulling me to the exit of the mall. I managed to pull free and run back to the shop that I worked in. My boss was wise enough to realize what happened and called security "way back then!" Then man returned to the "scene of the crime" the following
night and security followed him.

So, I am ready!

I think I am beyond scared. I don't want to take it anymore!
:soap: